Too Big for this World

 

DearGod

IfI die tomorrow

Ora thousand tomorrows from now,

Willit matter?

WillI be changed

Orhave changed the world?

Willanother moment from eternity of existence

Causethe moon to fall

Theoceans to weep

Thetrees to walk?

Butif an extra heartbeat

Bringsone smile to a teary eye

Ifall my heartbeats

Canmake another soul sing

Anotherlife less dull

Thenmy entire being has purpose

Andeternity becomes an instant of joy.

By Pat Loehmer(1959-1999), written around 1977

Mykids both loved their Aunt Patti, with all their precious, still-growinghearts. My baby girl was only three when Pat was diagnosed with cancer and ninewhen she died. Val never knew my sister when she wasn't fighting that insidiousmonster roaming her body.

AndI never realized how much they were alike.

Peoplethink I'm bullheaded and independent, but that was nothing compared to mysister. When she started something, she would dig in her heels and get it done,never asking for help and never backing down. My son, Nick, is like that, too.Me? Not so much, if I start something and it causes me frustration, I'm morethan willing to walk away and binge-watch episodes of"Friends". 

Valwas just as independent and could dig in her heels just as deeply if she wasworking on something from her heart. And she was all heart. And so was her AuntPatti. Both taken way too young - Pat at 39 and Val at 35. Sometimes, I thinkthey were both too big for this world, too bold, too strong.

Andlooking back, now, I think they both knew they weren't born to grow old on thisplanet; they knew God had a plan that none of us left behind will everunderstand.