Looking for love in all the wrong places

This morning I awoke with some recognitions in my mind.  When my mother died I rushed to her hospital bed, hoping for some loving recognitions, some understandings, perhaps some wisdom from her. That was my hope, fueled by my poor sad ego.

I didn’t get what I wanted, although I did some some loving moments. My mother remained substantially as she had so often been of late - a little too remote to ever get real in the way I wished for, or felt I needed.

Yet I did get what I wanted, and more. The staff at the hospice were unconditionally loving of everyone (as far as I could see) in a way that moved me, and which I shall never forget. It was a magnificent demonstration of loving kindness, right before my eyes.

The love was there, all along. It just wasn’t quite where I’d expected to find it.