When What-If Worries Crowd Your Heart—Listen for God’s I AM
Tricia GoyerI can still taste the salt of those 1995 tears. John eased our U-Haul north on I-5 while I stared at the side-view mirror, desperate to keep California in sight. What if something happens to Papa or Grandma Lita while we’re gone? Fear climbed into the passenger seat and fastened its belt.
Then—like a hand on my shoulder—Isaiah 41:10 rose in my memory:
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.”
Right there, in the rumble of eighteen-wheelers, I whispered a shaky surrender:
“God, I trade my what-ifs for Your I AM.” The tears didn’t evaporate, but peace slid behind the wheel.
Three years later, the phone rang: “Papa has cancer.” Every fear I thought I’d laid down jolted back to life. We drove sixteen hours south, sat at his bedside, and prayed for a miracle. And then—without my prompting—Papa turned to Grandma and said, “Let’s move to Montana. I want you to be with Tricia.”
They arrived over Christmas break. Papa stepped into heaven that March—with my hand in his. Fear didn’t win. Faith did. Grandma Lita unpacked her Bible, her favorite earrings, and her never-empty jar of instant cappuccino. Twenty-five years later, on July 31, 2025, she slipped away the same way she lived—humming a hymn, her hand wrapped in mine, utterly convinced that the next face she’d see was Jesus.’ Despite my fears, God gave me over twenty-five years with Grandma.
A Grandmother’s Beautiful Quilt-Piece LifeDolores Frances “Lita” Coulter was born in a boxcar on September 17, 1929—tin plates for china, a metal tub for Saturday baths, an outhouse dressed up with the school’s cast-off Christmas tree. Her daddy died when she was eight, so Lita traded childhood for waitress aprons and long shifts at thirteen.
Yet the girl who scrubbed tin dishes could still twirl joy out of thin air. Weed High crowned her “Best Dancer.” Four years later, a World War II veteran named Fred Coulter sat in her diner section and confessed, “I keep sitting here because of your hair.” She noticed his green eyes, and the love story began.
Marriage ushered in daughters, homemade enchiladas, and late-night dancing in the living room glow. Lupus threatened to steal her life, but God whispered, “Not yet”. Half-deaf but wholly determined, she kept working, cooking, and loving.
Everything changed when her daughter Vickie brought home a Bible. Grandma Lita cracked open pages she’d been told were only for priests and met the kind Savior who turned her fear of distant judgment into the freedom of personal grace. She prayed Scripture over her family—every child, grandchild, and great-grandchild by name—until heaven’s gates opened.
In 1998, cancer tried to script the final chapter. Papa responded with a quiet miracle of his own: “Dear, we’re moving to Montana.” Grandma left everything familiar because love follows people, not zip codes. She became the praying heartbeat of our home: morning devotions, afternoon cowboy shows, midnight hymns.
She lived almost ninety-six years—and squeezed every drop of joy: wheelchair-fast passes at Disney World, cruise-ship sunsets in Jamaica, clandestine desserts after curfew, teasing my husband John about her “cowboy boyfriends,” and cheering at each grandchild’s milestone like it was an Olympic finish line.
Papa once glanced out a Montana window days before his passing and whispered, “I wish you could see what I see—the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.” That vision carried Grandma through widowhood, through aches and losses, and finally across her own finish line. I imagine Papa wrapped her in his arms and teased, “Jeepers, what took you so long, Dear?” Then she started dancing again—barefoot, joyful band, and all.
Truths Her Life Still Teaches My Fearful Heart1. Name the bully. Fear loses power when it’s dragged into daylight. Grandma named poverty, lupus, and widowhood—then spoke a bigger name: Jesus.
“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.” (Psalm 56:3)
2. Stand on promises, not possibilities. She wrote verses in her journal like armor.
“Be strong and courageous… the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
3. Move anyway. Courage isn’t the absence of trembles; it’s refusing to let them steer.
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
4. Let perfect love cast out fear. Morning hymns and Scripture lullabies drove out the dark.
“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.” (1 John 4:18)
For the Heart Still Pacing the HallwayWhich what-if is loudest today? Write it down. Draw a bold line through it. Above the line, in bigger letters, pen “I AM.” Then whisper this prayer—ours, yours, heaven’s:
Reflection QuestionLord, You see the tremble hiding beneath my brave face. You know the what-ifs that wake me at 2 a.m. and steal the peace from ordinary afternoons. Thank You that Your I AM swallows every question mark. Trade my panic for Your presence, my dread for Your delight. The same hand that steadied me on I-5, that held Papa, that carried Grandma Lita across the finish line, now holds me.
Lord, I choose to trust—again, and again, and again. And when the enemy of my soul tries to recycle old fears, remind me that fear cannot rewrite a story already signed by the Author of Life. In Jesus’ steadfast name, Amen.
When you trace the quilt-pieces of your own story, where can you see a patch of fear that God has already stitched into a testimony of His I AM faithfulness?
Fear may shout the loudest, but it never holds the pen. The Great I AM is still writing your story—one promise-soaked, peace-anchored sentence at a time. Trust the Author.
Additional ResourcesDaily Bible Podcast
We’re Tricia and Michelle, two friends inviting you to join us in reading through the Bible chronologically this year. Reading the Bible every day can be a challenge. We’re here to summarize each day’s passage and provide action steps … in under 15 minutes. Grab a buddy and join our community. Take the plunge, and let’s read through the Bible together. We’ll be cheering you on all the way!
You can join us using your own One Year Bible© (if you’d like to purchase one, you can grab your preferred version using the links below). Or you can print up the One Year Chronological Reading Plan. If you don’t have a copy of the One Year Bible©, we will have the exact passages for the next day in the show notes. You can also subscribe to the One Year Chronological Bible Reading plan on the YouVersion Bible App.
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