Disneyland Paris – A guide if you’re afraid of heights

And I don’t mean “you get slightly dizzy”, nor do I mean motion sickness, which is signalled at the entrance of the attractions but it’s a totally different thing: I mean a grip to your stomach when the attraction climbs upwards and a voice in your head as it plunges to everyone’s doom, screaming we’re all going to die; I mean limbs shaking for the next 30 minutes and the sense of depth completely gone bananas. That’s what I mean. Do you have it, and you’re planning to go to Disneyland, but you’re not sure if you’ll manage to ride on any ride? You’re in the right place: I got you.

I went to Disneyland Paris + Studios this summer with a couple of friends, who were aware of my issue with heights and went above and beyond to try and select attractions that wouldn’t bother me, but it’s a tricky thing, and it isn’t easy to explain. Some of their assumptions were correct (no roller coasters being the most obvious one, of course), some doubts were confirmed, and some other times we didn’t expect what happened. So here I am, here’s what we did and here’s my advice if you’re in the same situation.

Let’s star with…

…should I go?

Yes, yes, yes.

You might skip many attractions, that’s true, but if you’re with the right group and you can ditch the company when they want to be thrown up in the air, a visit to the park is worth it if only for the shows, the shops, and the walking around in a truly magical place. And you’ll have things you can do, I promise.

I mean, just take a look at that.

I’ll split the attractions in 3 categories: nope, maybe, absolutely yes.

1. One Big Bag Full of Nope

These of course are the rides I did, because my friends and I thought they might be okay, and turned out not to be okay. I’m not counting the rollercoasters and such, because it’s obvious that they will bother someone who can’t cope with heights.

1.1. Ratatouille

Yes, you heard me right. The fluffy attraction with your favourite little chef Remy… isn’t fluffy at all. And while the ride is literally glued to the ground, curved screens will give you the impression of falling from the skylight into the kitchen as the very first thing, and there’s nowhere to look (a trick I usually employ to reset my brain to the reality that we’re not falling). The illusion is complete, the immersion is a masterpiece… which of course isn’t good.

Do avoid.

1.2. Star Tours

This is not a simulator. I repeat, this is not a simulator. Or, more appropriately, it’s a fucking good one. Taking your glasses off won’t help, and again, there’s nowhere to look because you’re in a moving capsule. The illusion of acceleration, plunging to your death, diving to avoid enemies and all that jazz is really, really well done. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t care. Stay out of it.

2. Call Me Maybe

These are attractions that will have a bad moment, but it’s literally just one, and maybe you can cope for the sake of everything else. It’s up to you. Avoid them if you want to stay on the safe side.

2.1. Peter Pan

You’re sitting in a boat that’s literally hanging from a rail on the ceiling. Sometimes you look down at stuff that’s 50 cm from the keel, other times you’re dangling higher. From the way it tosses and turns, it will give you the illusion of wanting to go wild, except it doesn’t: one time it rolls as if it’s about to plunge to your doom, but the descent isn’t that steep. Overall it’s charming, I think it’s worth the mild discomfort of that single slide.

2.2. Pirates of the Caribbean

I know. I’m really sorry to report this: the boat slides down at the beginning of the ride, which is nothing, but then there’s a steep descent around the middle of the ride and… it’s not good. It’s the only time it will do it: there’s another one by the end but it’s way milder. I’m really angry because there’s literally no need for it, but there you have it. Be prepared.

2.3. Spider-Man W.E.B. Adventure

I didn’t do this one (I was still feeling sick from Ratatouille). You’re in a moving capsule with 3d glasses, and they warn you against motion sickness, but my significant otter tells me there’s no falling, no sliding, no nothing. And the spider-bots are super cute.

2.4. Snow White and Pinocchio

I didn’t do these either (yes, Ratatouille was that bad): you’re supposedly sitting in a cart that just turns abruptly as it happens in very old rides of haunted houses.

2.5. Robinson’s House

It didn’t bother me, because it’s an attraction you traverse by foot, and I manage much better when I’m in control, but it does climb pretty high, and at least one lady didn’t make it. I did enjoy the walk, but if you have doubts, I don’t think it’s worth the trouble. The same might go for Adventure Island, which was close when we visited: it’s just a walk, but there’s a hanging bridge which might bother some.

3. Go for it

This is the good news section. There’s a bunch of stuff you traverse by foot, and it literally just has regular stairs: Sleeping Beauty’s Gallery, inside the castle, featuring some beautiful stained glass scenes from the cartoon, Alice’s Labyrinth, where the most thrilling part is the stairs to the Queen of Hearts’ Castle (if you can find it), and the Dragon’s Cave.

Other walks will stay at ground level, such as Aladdin’s Enchanted Passage, which is a gallery with scenes from the movie, and the Nautilus where you’ll take a stroll inside Captain Nemo’s masterpiece.

But what about the rides?

3.1. It’s a Small World

Surprisingly to nobody, this is a very chill ride on boats: Walt Disney’s nightmare of children singing all together in different languages coms to life and it’s really lengthy, traversing stereotype after stereotype with your dutiful dosage of diversity and inclusion (or at least that’s what I think they think they’re doing). You have to see it to believe it.

3.2. The Railroad

It’s what you expect: the train takes you through the park and stops in the different districts, going through a couple of tunnels with dioramas and giving you a special look from above inside the Pirates of the Caribbeans attraction.

3.3. The Carousel

A classical ride with horses and, if you feel like sitting down, carriages that won’t lift off the ground. My eight-years-old neighbour was complaining that we weren’t going fast enough: it was fine for me.

3.4. Once Upon a Time

Another chill ride on boats: you’ll travel on a river that will take you through miniatured scenes of your favourite cartoons and, most notably, it’s the only time Winnie the Pooh has a spot in the park. It surely is a conspiracy.

3.5. Phantom Manor

Definitely my favourite attraction, and the only way it might bother you is if you’re afraid it’ll do something funny. It won’t. Trust me. Not even the slightest, not even when it looks like we might be facing a descent. It’s perfect. You’ll love it.