Did you know the God of Withness, wants to be with you?

I absolutely love this woman and her heart! Following Jesus together and being in community together for the past four years has been so life-giving and restorative for me! As a single mama of two, working in ministry, Toni Collier knows what it feels like to need to be seen, to need to be found as she fights for the bravery to ask for help. I have closely watched Toni share some of the most painful parts of her story, and have even held them with her, all for the glory of teaching you that hiding is the kryptonite to healing and what will save us all is accepting that we need God—and His people too. Lean into the farm’s table today—we’ll meet you there.

Guest Post by Toni Collier

I remember the moment my son, Sammie, learned how to play peekaboo.

It was precious.

I had set him down on his changing table and was trying to peel his little pajama top over his head.

It was a tight squeeze, let me just say that. 

I could tell he was getting irritated by how slowly the too-­tight dinosaur top was coming off, so I started playing peekaboo with it to distract him. He loved it. 

He giggled and showed off his two little pearly whites and pink gums as I went back and forth between squeezing the shirt off and surprising him with a peekaboo in between. 

It became his favorite game. Soon it morphed into hide-­and-seek. I can still hear him and his “sissy,” my daughter, Dylan, running around the house playing together. 

One time I was sitting on our living room couch watching them play hide-­and-­see. Sammie could barely get any words out between the cackles he belted out every time Dylan found him.

He was only two years old, so those hiding spots were easy to find. Sammie would hide next to the couch, not behind it, and Dylan would pretend she didn’t see him for a while, calling out, “Where’s Sammie?” until she crept around the corner and yelled, “I got you!”

And there went those little cackles again. 

I think I loved the innocence of him believing he was hiding but being seen all along. And, I just wonder how many times we’ve found ourselves believing that we’re doing a great job at hiding, when all along everything can be seen.

We’ve tried to get good at hiding our pain, but God sees. Our close people—­they see. When we were younger our parents saw. 

But, here’s the truth; hiding is the kryptonite to healing.

And, in order to start healing, we have to stop hiding. It’s not working anyway.

Whether we like it or not, our stuff always eventually surfaces. We are always eventually found, which is actually the thing we deeply want anyway. 

I think about how in Genesis 3 God went looking for Adam and Eve as they hid in shame from the unwanted hide-and-seek game sin pulled the two of them into. Genesis 3:9-11 says, “The Lord God called to Adam, “Why are you hiding?” And Adam replied, “I heard you coming and didn’t want you to see me naked. So I hid.’ “Who told you you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten fruit from the tree I warned you about?” 

“Hiding is the kryptonite to healing, and being found out is not a punishment; it’s an invitation to a better way of healing. “

I can’t imagine what our Heavenly Father felt when He realized Adam and Eve did the very thing He asked them not to do. Like any loving parent, I’m sure there was disappointment, sorrow, and even worry about the danger their decision put them in. And then there was correction and even consequences. Then there was comfort.

God clothed them, because loving parents still comfort their children. Even when they’ve done something wrong, even when they tried to hide it.

Friend, hiding never works.

Hiding makes things worse.

Hiding is the kryptonite to healing, and being found out is not a punishment; it’s an invitation to a better way of healing.

God reveals only to heal. He wants your pain to come into the light so that it can be divinely touched by Him and tenderly held by His people.

Revealing your pain is not a punishment, it’s care.

It’s the God of the universe coming to find you because hiding is lonely. The whole goal of hide-and-seek is to keep anyone from finding you, and that’s just not a game we can play with our hurting hearts. We need to be found; we need to be seen.

I think about how Psalm 34:18 promises that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I don’t know about you, but I want closeness when I am hurting.

The problem is, there’s something that threatens that closeness: avoidance. Avoiding the awkwardness of telling someone you’re hurting or embarrassed or feeling betrayed is a sure way to not heal from your hurt, embarrassment, and betrayal.

So no more hiding, okay?

No more shrinking back from your healing journey and allowing the enemy of your soul to short-circuit the hope that is coming your way.

Come on, lean into this.

“Bask in your worthiness, daughter of God, and watch the floodgates of healing open up for you. “

No more hiding.

It’s time to get brave, it’s time to heal out loud. It’s time to begin again, look up again, and let the light hit your face as it was destined to.

Let people in, find the people that will come, choose to humbly be held accountable for the mistakes and numbing in your healing journey.

Bask in your worthiness, daughter of God, and watch the floodgates of healing open up for you.

Let God, your people, and me in this moment be the ones to say, “I’ve got you!” We are not letting you go.

The darkness won’t last.

The light is on the way.

I promise.

This is a book you don’t want to pass by.

The reality of this book is we don’t live alone. Pick up this book if you’re lonely, if you’re feeling heartbroken, or if you’re walking a hard road. You do not have to do it alone. I highly recommend!

“We weren’t meant to carry the weight of our pain alone,” says Toni. “This book is my invitation to anyone who’s felt stuck, ashamed, or too broken to be seen—you are not alone, and your healing is possible.”

With reflection questions, practical advice, and spiritual encouragement, Don’t Try This Alone is both a roadmap and a lifeline for anyone ready to embrace the hard but holy work of healing in community.

“While the pain is never worth it, God also doesn’t waste pain,” encourages Toni. “He uses it to refine us and draw us closer to Him and His people.”

Toni Collier is the founder of a global women’s organization called Broken Crayons Still Color and helps women process through brokenness and get to healing and hope. Toni is a speaker, host of the Still Coloring podcast, and author of several books: Don’t Try This Alone (releasing August 19, 2025), Brave Enough to be Broken, and a children’s book, Broken Crayons Still Color. Toni has had the opportunity to proudly stand on stages for North Point Community Church, Chick-fil-A, IF:Gathering, Orange Conference, There{4} Teen Gathering, and MomCon, and she is a regular guest on TBN’s TV program for women, “Better Together.” She also serves on the board of Africa New Life and is a teaching pastor at Renovation Church. 

Toni kills illusions. She confronts the hard things. She believes the best way to meet life’s challenges is head-on. And, in this digital age of anxiety, Toni is teaching people all over the globe that you can be broken and still worthy, or feel unqualified and still be called to do great things. Toni wants to help you find a way through the brokenness in your life so that you can live the most colorful life possible.

{Our humble thanks to Thomas Nelson for their partnership in today’s devotional.}