Another Wobbly Start

I’ve seen newborn calves find their feet faster than I do at the beginning of a project.  It’s time to paint final artwork for a children’s book and once again I’m in that early stage where the paint is not yet obeying.  The brush feels alien in my hand, the colors mock me, the linen, I swear is laughing its thin, thready laugh.

Ugggh…. So the twins Awkwardness and Anxiety have lumbered into the studio once again to keep me company.    One stumbles around spilling stuff on my ego.  The other is obsessively looking at the clock and calendar, certain of imminent failure.

But there is another presence here, too.    Another voice, saying things like, “Keep going.  This is normal.  By now you should simply expect a period of warm up before we get to the good stuff.”

I’m offering awkwardness time and space to bumble around.  Anxiety needs a piece of dark chocolate and some good music.  And I need to keep going.  Because this is normal.

Another day at the studio, another wobbly start.

I can’t wait to get to the good stuff.