Are the Ancestors Real? A Somatic Guide to Reconnecting with Lineage

Are the Ancestors Real?

When I was spending a lot of time teaching about healing ancestors through somatic ritual, one of the questions I got all the time from my students was,

"How do I know the ancestors are real?"

Because I got that question so often, my teacher, Dr. Daniel Foor, helped me to develop a stock answer.

I would say,

"You did not grow up in a culture of ancestral reverence.

“Here in the West, we are disconnected from our lineages and our traditions.

“If you had grown up in a more intact culture, you would not think to ask that question because relating with your ancestors would have been woven into every day of your life.

“You would have made offerings, said their names, waited for dreams with information from your grandma.

“You would have had an ancestor altar in your home.

“You would have sung and prayed to them automatically, because that's what everyone around you did.

“I'm so sorry you did not get that.

“However, you can have that now.

“Ancestors are a human energy, and humans are relational.

“You can build a relationship with your ancestors just like with any other human. With care and attention over time.

“Start small.

“Make an offering and see what happens.

“Then take it a step further."

What is Ancestral Healing?

If my student was still listening and interested, I'd take it to the next level.

"There are many layers to healing, and ancestral healing is one layer.

“Getting reconnected with your well, bright, and elevated ancestors is your birthright.

“In many cultures, the shining ancestors are actively involved with their living descendants, offering advice, intuition, prayer, guidance, and love.

“Think about it, don't you want the very best for any descendants of heart or of blood that you have?

“Wouldn't you say prayers for their highest good and best possible lives?

“Your ancestors did the same for you, even if very far back."

Western Doubt

Anthropologists have noted that the question itself is a Western one.

Twentieth-century Western researchers were challenged to apply cultural relativism when faced with ancestor-worshipping cultures.

Some avoided the question altogether by focusing on what a culture believes.

In Family Constellations work, there is disagreement too, with some practitioners believing that ancestors truly exist, and some believing they are more like archetypes.

Francesca M. Boring, a Shoshone medicine woman and Family Constellation practitioner, said it directly:

“The Ancestors are real. Unlike the interpretation of constructivist constellations which may relegate Ancestors to allegory or metaphor, the Ancestors are viewed simply as ancestors.”

Photo by Bryan Goff A Personal Metaphysics

But Western minds need proof, not faith. We often come to faith through having positive experiences we cannot explain.

Stephen Jay Gould once said,

“Each of us has to have a personal metaphysics. There are questions that are formally unanswerable on which nonetheless every individual must take a position in order to integrate various pieces of his life.”

My Experience

I would say,

"Hey, you can always try it out and see what results you get.

“I know personally that when I engaged authentically in healing work with my ancestral lineages, my life dramatically improved in unexpected ways.

“Was that my ancestors?

“I believe so, but ultimately it does not matter to me if ancestral relationships are scientifically measurable.

“I feel more wholeness, more integral aliveness, because I am in good relationship with my ancestors.

“Because I know I have done the ritual work within my power to clean up any unresolved trauma and harm my ancestors experienced and/or committed.

“As a white person living in the so-called USA, that matters to me."

Looking Ahead

When we are working with ancestors, we are working with life expressed through generations, a lineage of time.

When we work with trauma, we work with a mind-body that has gotten trapped in time.

That stuckness gets passed down.

This is the threshold where my doctoral research on transgenerational sexual trauma began.

In Part Two of this post, I will share what I learned about the impacts of ancestral trauma on sexuality and how ritual helps us transform what has been passed to us.

My book “Tending the Bones” grew out of this research, and my ritual container Tending the Bones is open now for anyone ready to engage these questions in their own lineages and bodies. $200 Early Bird Discount until Aug. 30

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