Wed. Aug. 20, 2025: Just Put Your Head Down and Do the Work

image courtesy of Jan Vašek via pixabay.com

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Waning Moon

Pluto, Neptune, Saturn, Chiron Retrograde

Rainy and mild

And here we are, mid-week! Most of August is gone. I do love September and October. Those are usually my favorite months.

The Sidewalk Chewing Demons were a problem from a little after 7 AM on. The refusal to communicate and the arrogance with which they behave is causing unnecessary problems. If the City was supposed to communicate with us and didn’t, then, yes, it becomes the project manager’s job to get it done. Behaving like jackasses hurts everyone.

I sent out the email requesting the program copy, and it’s coming in, which will make my life easier in early September. I spent my 15 minutes organizing the office daily (I dropped the ball on that lately; it’s been several weeks since I dedicated the time, which is a shame, because 15 minutes can make a big difference). I typed up the handwritten poems from Saturday’s class, since I may well take them into residency to workshop. I wrote the October materials for Llewellyn.

I toted up the materials cost for the text-and-textile piece. The materials cost was less than half of the bottom of the range budget I’d given myself, which is a good thing. Even when I had to buy additional backing fabric. I mean, adding in the cost of the labor over the hours and weeks would put a high price on the piece if it was for sale (which it is not), but I’m pleased that I did so well in the materials budget. I’d been afraid to add it up, once I had to re-do the piece, but I did pretty well, factoring all of the materials for both versions in, still under half the bottom of the budget. I have enough left over batting for the book-ish quilt I want to finish this autumn. It also gives me an idea of budgeting for a handful of pieces I want to create over the next year, especially if I can source some of the materials second-hand. Theatre training (in this case, production management) serves me well in life yet again.

I got out two play submissions. One is to a company not that far away, with whom I’d love to get involved. I received four coverages that I need to turn around by Sunday. The payment is a joke, but I wasn’t sure when I’d get the revisions for the ghostwriting and wanted to make sure there was at least something coming in for the end of the month. And then, of course, I got the notes Monday night. I received my next book for review, but effing Google wouldn’t let me sign into my Gmail on the Kindle for 20 minutes (since I can no longer download on the laptop and “send to Kindle”). Really, a Kindle is next to useless at this point. NONE of this is about security. ALL of it is about control.

I started working on the revision notes for the ghostwriting client. 90% of the notes in the initial section are solved if they bothered to look at the 18-page packet of visuals that I put together when they were talking about needing floorplans, etc., for this piece, and which they’ve ignored. And what’s frustrating is that we spend days hashing things out, I do as I’m instructed (rather than what I know will work better), and then they act like those conversations never happened. Even though it’s all in writing. I don’t mind changing something that’s not working, in fact, I welcome it. I do mind when I do what I’m instructed, and they act like the conversations making those decisions never happened. I keep track of everything, I have paper trails up the ying yang, but that doesn’t lessen the frustration of it happening again and again, even when we talk about ways for it not to happen. And with this project in particular, it’s like I made an intricate, detailed ship model to their specs, they took a hammer to it, then said, “oh, did you know there’s a hole here? Better fix it. And we need it by tomorrow.” It’s simply not sustainable.

But this gig was never supposed to be forever, just a needed bridge between the coverage job and whatever comes next in the next year. So I just put my head down and integrate the notes as best I can. It’s not my created world, thank goodness, or I’d really be devastated.  I need to realize they don’t value me the way I deserve, keep my ego out, do the work, get the money, and keep my eyes open for the next opportunity.

That knowledge doesn’t negate the frustration, discouragement, and sadness, but it’s knowledge I can use and apply. I’d just hoped to have breathing space for the year of the contracts, but the erratic workflow and the constant chaos make that impossible. Live and learn.

For now, I put my head down, do the work, and keep sending out LOIs.

And, to a certain point, disengage. I need to care less, without being careless.

I also have to make sure this work doesn’t derail my own work or my own voice.

Yoga was good last night. One of the participants brought her retired service dog, who we all know and love, and he was so excited to see us again! Getting a tennis ball dropped on your stomach during savasana definitely adds something to the experience.

Picked up takeout on the way home because I was just done with it all. Read a little at night, went to bed early, but, thanks to gentle yoga, slept through the night.

It was hard to get the motivation to roll out the yoga mat this morning, but I did, and Tessa and I were both glad I did. Bea is still not sure about the whole yoga thing.

Not sure if the Sidewalk Chewing Demons will show up to work in the rain. I somehow don’t think rain and wet concrete work, but what do I know? If they don’t show up (although it sounds like they’re arriving), I may try for a run up to the library a little later. If not, I’ll ask the library to hold the books about to expire until Friday.

I’m struggling to get the anthology story back on track. I may put that aside to focus more time on it over the weekend. I will write the November materials for Llewellyn, and probably spend most of the day trying to finish the ghostwriting rewrite and get it off my desk tonight, or at least early tomorrow. I will also need to do at least one of the coverages today, unless I wind up doing two tomorrow.

My mom has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, which we can’t move, so the Sidewalk Chewing Demons are just going to have to pause and let us by coming and going. Again, if they bothered to communicate, none of this would be a problem. And if you ask them, the response is, “it’s not my job to tell you anything.” Yeah, boo, you’re the one standing in front of me. Since the city and your effing project manager don’t do their jobs, it IS up to you to pick up the slack since you’re the face and body in the community. They’re union dudes, they should do better and represent their union positively.

We’re supposed to get a couple of inches of rain today, and at least the temperatures are cooler and easier to deal with.

Have a good one!