Fearing Change

Change is the greatest thing most people fear, and most of us don’t ponder that realization until it begins.  I didn’t think I feared change, especially working in a career that transformed on a daily basis, but I did, and still do.   Change goes against my natural instinct, which is to be organized, to be ritualistic, and to have a set pattern and routine.  All of that relates to security.  Change is unsecure, unpredictable, and unable to control.  That’s really what we fear most, losing control. 
We, humans, believe that if we can control everything around us, we can avoid disaster and find success – to control the flow of our lives.  However, I’m beginning to learn that the more control I give up, the more success I gain; the tighter I cling, the more I lose.   
More than financial or professional success, I desire peace with myself, my family, my friends, my neighbors and my God.  There is no secret formula, or ten-step program that can guarantee possession.  Formulas and programs are about taking control. I’ve tried them, again and again.  However, the past several years I’ve tried something new – letting go.
It’s been scary not knowing what the day holds, or what will happen tomorrow.  What’s funny is that this concept isn’t something new.  None of us knows what the day holds or what will happen tomorrow, and none of us have control over it.  We can set goals and agendas and direct ourselves to fulfill them, but whether we are successful remains out of our control, no matter how much we believe.  The moment we become comfortable in our assurance, something happens to shake our belief and disrupt our plans, and then cause us to doubt everything we thought we knew, especially ourselves, since we thought we were in control.
Please don’t misunderstand.  Continue to set goals, agendas and make plans (they are good), but keep in mind that the ultimate success of them is beyond our control.  If our plans succeed, be grateful and thankful, but if they fail, get back up and try again.  This is living – going from moment to moment, step to step, journey to journey.  Our failures are just as much part of our living as is our successes.   Who we are, is who we are while we’re on the journey, not necessarily what we achieve at the end.  Don’t fear change, get excited about it, because in the midst of it dwells our peace.
Storms, obstacles, set-backs and monkey-wrenches are not to be feared, for they’re just as important in our lives as our triumphs, our sunny days, and our discoveries. We won’t truly appreciate acceptance letters unless we’ve first received our share of rejections, and neither defines who we truly are. How do we let go of our fear of change?  I’m still working on that.  So far, I take it day by day, and one decision at a time.
Till next time,~T.L. Gray