You Want The Truth About “Doing It All” As a Mom?

From kitchen fires to flooded basements, long-term illness to seasons of deep grief, Jamie Erickson knows what it is like to be overwhelmed as a mom. After untangling and tying all the loose ends of marriage and family for over two decades, however, she also knows a few simple ways to overcome. It’s a joy to welcome Jamie to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Jamie Erickson

I sat across from a young mom in a hipster coffee shop, the kind that serves deconstructed breakfast sandwiches in a bowl for around the price of the down payment of a tiny house.

If you were to chart our lives on a Venn diagram, there would be a surprisingly large amount of overlap.

Like me, she was a writer, working on a book, and too, had aspirations of homeschooling her toddler someday. We were the same in many ways, with one minor exception.

She was about twelve years my junior. 

Aside from the noticeable physical differences that an age gap of that magnitude reveals—namely, her body parts didn’t yet droop or give her sad feelings—it was clear she was in a completely different stage of mothering.

She had one toddler still in diapers, hadn’t enjoyed a complete night’s sleep in nearly two years, and looked as if she could be the ringleader of the over-caffeinated stroller mafia who sprinted through the park every Thursday morning. Like them, she wore the face of a woman desperate for encouragement and adult interaction. 

“We fixate on what we can’t do instead of fully appreciating what God’s given us to do right now.“

I, on the other hand, had a house full of tweens and teens. Obviously, mothering my kids required commitment and self-sacrifice. But because they were much older, they were all remarkably self-sufficient. My kids still needed me. They just needed me in less relentless ways. 

With a pencil poised in one hand, ready to jot down whatever scheduling hacks I lobbed her way, she asked the million-dollar question every overwhelmed young mother has wondered at one time or another, myself included, “How did you do it all when you had little ones?” 

“I didn’t,” was my flat reply. 

Clearly, it was not the answer she was hoping for.

She had taken time from her busy schedule to learn my winning strategies for maintaining balance, and my advice was aggressively underwhelming. 

“Balance is a spotted unicorn,” I said. “A mythical creature that exists only in fairy tales, especially in the toddler years.” I couldn’t have been clearer about my position if I had explained it using sock puppets, yet she stared at me in utter confusion. 

I wasn’t trying to be glib or uncaring. I only wanted her to see that her dreams, while good, may not necessarily have been good for her right then.

“But the truth is, boundary lines are not constricting… They point us to our inheritance—God.“

As women, we can often fall into a scarcity mindset. We fixate on what we can’t do instead of fully appreciating what God’s given us to do right now.

Sadly, at times, I struggled against the boundaries young children placed in my life.

In the early years of mothering, I longed for more— the promotion at work, an invitation to lead the women’s Bible study, time to work on writing a book. Anytime an opportunity came along, I assumed I had to crowbar it into my already busy life or I’d forfeit it forever. I felt strangled by the responsibilities of the right here, right now. 

But the truth is, boundary lines are not constricting. According to Scripture, they are drawn to give us the portion we need presently. They point us to our inheritance—God. Psalm 16:5–11 reads, 

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (NIV) 

The words portion, lot, lines, and inheritance are taken right from the Torah, the first five books of the Old Testament, and elicit images of the birthright God gave to the people of Israel when they entered into the promised land. When Moses divided the countryside into plots, he gave each tribe their portion—their inheritance. 

” I was often guilty of missing the inheritance of the moment because it was disguised as regular life.“

Just like the property lines that separated the land of one Hebrew clan from that of the next, the time, energy, and financial constraints of your particular season are not hemming you in; they are helping to create healthy boundaries between you and the rest of the world.

Boundaries guard valuable things.

They protect you.

They keep all the extra worries and concerns of other seasons out.

Setting a boundary is an admission that you are a finite being. Although it is a purposeful limitation, it’s not limiting. A boundary is a legacy—the portion—that God has set aside, especially for you. 

Regrettably, in the active years of mothering littles, I was often guilty of missing the inheritance of the moment because it was disguised as regular life. 

It is in the unseen work of motherhood that our faith is formed.

The physical, emotional, and even spiritual sacrifices required to raise children may not leave much room for other commitments, but if that is the work that God has given you to do, it is holy work. 

The inconvenience and sacrifices of right now can be a daily reminder of Christ’s most inconvenient sacrifice.

In laying down His life for us, Jesus gave us an eternal inheritance. Constrained by the flesh of humanity, His self-imposed boundary became our hope.

As a mother, the boundaries of raising children might feel limiting, but they are actually an opportunity to follow Christ’s example—to live within the will of the Father and the portion He has for you.

You may have to lay down your dream or passion projects for a time but rest assured, they are not going anywhere. Unless the Lord wills, the life you have now, will not be the life you will have forever.

And no matter what the new and different “portions” of all the coming seasons might be, the deepest relief is that “the LORD is my portion” (Lam. 3:24) and He is the portion that always deeply fulfills and satisfies our every dream.

Jamie Erickson can be found encouraging and equipping a growing tribe of mothers all across the globe on the Mom to Mom podcast, through her blog The Unlikely Homeschool, and in her books Holy Hygge and Homeschool Bravely. She’s been married to her college sweetheart for over twenty-two years. Together, they’re raising and launching their five second-generation homeschooled kids along the shores of Lake Superior in Minnesota.

In her new book, Overwhelmed Mom, Jamie shows us how to push back against the weariness epidemic that plagues so many women. Through biblical principles and flexible solutions, she’ll help us learn to adjust our homes, schedules, and attitudes so that we may experience right-now relief and forward movement in common stress areas. 

We don’t have to keep living as overwhelmed moms—Jamie invites us to experience freedom and enjoy the gift of motherhood.

{Our humble thanks to Moody Publishers for their partnership in today’s devotional.}