Rowan Coleman: “I Forgive Myself…”
Special guest Rowan Coleman, bestselling author of Never Tear Us Apart, reveals how forgiveness has become part of her creative process…
TRANSCRIPT
MARK: What small thing has made a big difference to your creative process?
ROWAN: I think the thing that’s made the biggest difference to my creative process is forgiving myself. For not… Sometimes going quite slowly to sometimes just doing small bits at a time. I am a late diagnosed, unmedicated ADHD woman, and I used to think… I was convinced that I had a very strict writing regime and sat at my desk from 9 to 5, and wrote every day, and I didn’t realise that this was, in fact, not true until I took my kids with me to a book event when they were quite young. And I was saying this and I heard this laughter from the back of the hall, I was like, what? Why are you laughing, darling? “You don’t do that. All you do faff around all day on the internet.” (laughs) I thought, that is true. That is all I do. So now I sort of just think, well, if it’s not… if you can’t… you know, sometimes you have to write when you have to write because we all have multiple things that we’re juggling, you know, proper jobs and, teaching courses and all that stuff. And sometimes you just have to go, right. Well, this is my time to write, and I have to write, but if it’s… if I can’t be that disciplined, I just say, all right, well, it’s not happening today, but it will happen tomorrow. And you only write ten words. That’s fine, because that’s ten more words and you’ll add to it tomorrow. And I sort of just let myself off the hook and I don’t let myself feel shame about it anymore, which is a big part of growing up with neurodiversity. Undiagnosed neurodiversity particularly is kind of constantly feeling that you’re not trying hard enough. So I try to tell myself now that I am, in fact, trying hard enough, and it does somehow work out in the end. I don’t know how, but it does.
MARK: Yeah, I think the moral of the story is be kind to yourself and don’t invite your kids to book events.
ROWAN: I mean, I don’t know what’s worse: that one, or when they came when they were a little bit older and were sitting in the front row on Switches.
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