Tennessee Joins The List...

...of states that invited me over.  Like if states had slumber parties, Tennessee is the state where the cool mom stocks the fridge with Coke and chocolate Zingers and lets all the teenagers have at it. And I am the kid who drinks all the Coke and accidentally leaves Zinger-stains on quite a bit of the furniture. Sure, Tennessee was all, won't you come to our beautiful state, which we are counting on you not to despoil? And I was all, aw, Tennessee, I know you mean well but it's not a good idea. C'mon: chocolate Zingers! I'm only human, for God's sake.

Anyhoo, I'll be at the first-ever ROMFEST in Gatlinburg, TN, where readers and writers can meet same, mingle with editors and agents, seize the chance to get out of the basement and wear some clean clothes for once, and actually socialize instead of practising for a later life of being a shut-in. Um, it's possible I'm projecting on other attendees. Also, I'd never hang out in our basement. Our house was built in 1860. You know how some people read the age of trees by the rings in the trunks? You can read the age of our house by the rings on all the spiderwebs. Crumbling cement walls, flickering lighting, appliances that mysteriously (and suddenly) rumble to life before dying out with a wheeze, a teenage boy facing the corner like that poor bastard at the end of The Blair Witch Project...I just never, never go down there.

But I digress! I'm the breakfast speaker at, I dunno, sometime around breakfast on June 21st. After which I'll avoid being cornered by all the innocents horrified at my over-sharing by hanging out in the Lodge's bitchin' indoor lagoon. Yay, me!

For more information:
http://www.romfest.com/

I'll regale y'all if I return.  When.  WHEN I return, is what I meant. Yeah.