If this was in Wisconsin and had no backwoods dudes, it would be The Chill Factor and way more terrible.

58. Terror Academy: Spring Break – Nicholas Pine

Spring break in the snow! In Maine with backwoods dude creepery! Weirdly, Laura the high school student already has a pre-engagement ring before the backwoods oaf decides she should be his bride. She knew she didn’t want to come on her family vacation and leave her pre-fiancee Charlie. She is really, really concerned he’ll be usurped if she’s gone for two weeks.

Anyway, the backwoods dude family is watching her family and driving slowly in front of them and staring at her in the woods and that’s all fine and good, but then her best friend Kimmy visits the cabin as Laura’s birthday present and brings her an Ouija board, which we all know always ends well, and somehow Laura gets the one decent helpful spirit checking out the boards. I feel like the spirit was some other woman the super creepy dudes “made mind” who didn’t get away, but they never explore who the spirit is because apparently they’re mean. I wanted some background on it.

Laura ends up Wrong Turn-ing the majority of the family herself after they shoot her dad in the shoulder…after trying to kidnap her when she drove her friend to the bus, but that pesky state patrol thwarted that.

And when she gets home, she’s not so concerned about her pre-fiancee being taken. She’s traumatized by having had to kill several men in the woods instead. There’s a little more to it, based on the Ouija board, but it’s a really odd mixture of a story. There really didn’t need to be a supernatural element, it’s scary enough when some guy takes a look at you and just decides you’ll be his bride in the deep woods without you having any say so and the state patrol says he’s “harmless.” He ain’t harmless.

 

Dagmar says Wisting’s not allowed to bring an Ouija board to the cabin, even if it would enliven their wintry spring break. He’s also not allowed to invite anyone he meets on the road, lest they get ideas about pignapping her.

 

These pigs (Snuffy, Thorfy, Hen Wen, and Salem on the balcony, Wisting, Dagmar, and Camille downstairs) understand the need to get away somewhere safe and snowy and vaguely supernatural.
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