Finding Chelle Summer Style

I bought a Lilly Pulitzer sweater recently (sweaters, sunglasses, and shoes remain out of my realm!) and on the tag there was this:

“It all started with one incredible woman who had the courage to find her joy and create her own sunshine.”

Growing up, it was always all about fitting in. Looking back, the messages feel confusing– we were to try and fit in. Yet we were also told that we should find out who we are. But if we didn’t fit in, often we felt bad that we didn’t, like there was something wrong with us.

For me, now it feels like the difference between style and fashion. Fashion and trendy last for a short time, style is who we are for the long haul.

I did the work and because of it I never truly felt like I fit in anywhere in my life. I kept trying. I had lots of friends, but few that were really close to me. I changed hairstyles in high school almost as often as my outfits.

After I started writing fiction again, when my work in suicide prevention and loss was winding down about fifteen years ago, I found myself drawn back to the high school me– to the clothes, the colors, the music. And to my childhood– also the clothes, the colors, the Barbies- with my younger sister Denise.

What I thought I had left behind, was still part of me and I wasn’t quite finished with it. I twisted it around-– taking pieces of it and merging it with who I am today. I finally realized a great many aspects of life weren’t going to be what I wanted them to be, nor would I fit into many places. Instead, if I truly wanted something, I was going to have to create it myself.

So I did and I continue to do so.