Short Story - Hill of Hope - Grant Eagar
The Hill of Hope
Itwas a Friday morning, around 9. I received a video call; it was mymanager and a lady from human resources. They wanted to speak with me. I felt awrench in my stomach; did I do something wrong? They said something about thecompany going through a restructuring and my position being eliminated; it wasall a bit hazy. I expressed appreciation for the job that I had and wished themthe best. I try to be positive, hoping to create good karma for my next job. Thecall closes, and I realize in 30 minutes my connection to the network is goingto conclude, so I quickly send out a few hasty 'goodbyes, and then theconnection ends. I look at my screen, and the hot project that I had beenstressing over is on my computer. The thought comes to me, this is no longermy concern, and I feel a release of stress as well as the initialadrenaline of a new adventure. After a few minutes, there is also the bitter tasteof the realization that the job had ended. I was not a perfect employee, but Idid my best.
Afew days later, my sister-in-law asks me how I'm holding up. I tell her thatsince I've been through this before, I try to remember how I dealt with it backthen. I felt it was a combination of hard work searching for a job, as well as faithin god's help and optimism in the future. That finding a new job may takea while. I tell her I try to focus on those things I have control over.
Anothertime when I was unemployed, my wife and I would take a walk every morning. First,we would start the walk with optimism and walk up a hill, talking about some ofthe positive job opportunities that I had. We called it the hill of hope. Wewould turn a corner, then walk down the hill to another corner. By this time,we were less hopeful and occasionally negative, so we would call this thecorner of despair. I've learned that being of good cheer is hardwork.
TodayI boxed up my computer, my monitor, and my work cell phone. Dropping it all offat UPS. This seemed to make it all more real. It felt both refreshing andpainful. Some of the mental demons Itry to avoid are the ‘what could I have done differently’ imp and the ‘maybethey will change their minds’ dragon. It is tough staying away from thesemonsters.
Wearinga new hat every day – A couple of days ago, I was submitted for a position inlet’s say Atlanta, so I figuratively put on my Atlanta Hat. I googled a suburbthat I would like to live in, checked out the cost of rent for apartments, thecost for a room on Craigslist, and the airfares to my local airport. I would becoming home every other weekend. Mentally, all day I went over in my mind repeatedlyhow I would make the situation work. Tomorrow I may be putting on my Dallas hat. This is my process of maintaining hope.
Weall wish we never had to go through unemployment, but a loss of a job is partof most people’s lives. How we deal with it defines us for good or ill. Takinga few risks and trying something new is what makes us happy.
