Embarrasing Questions For…

I know you can’t wait to hear who the embarrassing questions are for. Anyway, my wife was listening to her daily YouTube videos and called this one out for me, thinking I might be interested in writing a blog about it. Yup, sure am! It combines two recent topics: death planning (tarramation), and pubic hair (along with a few other humorous bits). The video features a Mortician who gets questions that most people are too embarrassed to ask, but she’s hilarious with her answers. Here are the questions and answers, because I know y’all are dying (pun intended) to know.

A dude was curious about inadvertently snorting Grandpa’s ashes while dumping ashes from creation. He felt a burning sensation and worried about it. Since cremated remains are mostly made of bone fragments, which after cremation are a mixture of calcium phosphate and trace minerals. According to Lauren the Mortician, “While it’s not toxic, it’s definitely not something you should be huffing like an artisanal sea salt.” Hilarious! Further, she says, “Think of it like snorting fireplace ash, only with way more emotional baggage.” While it’s really not good to snort anything, dead remains take it to a whole new level. Here’s a good trick when distributing your loved one’s ashes…use gloves and a mask.Here’s the question that caught my interest, because you know I’m obsessed with anything to do with our intimate bits. A young woman asked, “When I die, will they shave my bush?” Short answer, no. Morticians only clean and prep what is necessary for viewing and restoration, or for cultural reasons. Side note: Only a handful of cultures involve shaving or cutting hair: For some Hindu men it is customary to shave the head – a purification ritual to symbolize the shedding of their ego; to satisfy some Buddhist traditions because monks shave their heads, shaving hair is considered a tribute to the deceased; for a few indigenous cultures, particularly Lakota and Navajo tribes, cutting hair is considered a way to symbolize loss and mourning. Although I doubt that any of these instances extend to the pubic region. She did qualify her answer to say that while it’s not a standard part of embalming and prep, Morticians will respect religious, cultural, or family requests. She also noted that she would pull the stray hairs from our chins. Whew, good to know that those pesky chin hairs I miss will be pulled!What happens when a person has an ileostomy bag? Is it removed? Not during the embalming process, but yes, it is removed afterward during the cleaning-up process. During cremation and probably terramation, the bag is removed beforehand. Similarly, Foley catheters and urine bags are removed. Plastic is not good inside the retort (cremator). Plastic is also terrible for the environment, so definitely not for terramation, either.Are we buried with our shoes? Short answer, yes. I suppose footwear plays a significant role in burial customs. In Norse mythology, the deceased were equipped with “hell shoes” to aid them in the afterlife. Ancient Greeks placed terracotta boots outside tombs to ensure a safe passage into the underworld. In ancient Egypt, sandals were the footwear of choice because they were believed to provide comfort and support during the journey into the afterlife. Side note: Golden sandals were found in King Tut’s tomb. It can be challenging to fit shoes after death due to body changes. Since shoes are not visible in a casket, the decision about whether to include shoes or not remains with the family.Finally, Morticians have a different perspective on death. In small towns, they do not typically have issues with caring for people they may have known. Lauren the Mortician sees it as a calling, not unlike those called to serve god. For a Mortician, it is an act of love and service.

So…there you have it. She is very fascinating to watch. For more of her videos, here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/@Laurenthemortician Again, it’s hard to tie this into books, but it did get me thinking about how fascinating it would be to write a book with the main character as a Mortician, who falls in love with an Obstetrician. Two ends of the spectrum: life and death. Yes, I know, my books are rather quirky. Check them out by going to the links below:

The Kitten Trap

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