Sleepover, with a Side of Smarts

When Sarah asked if we could keep the kids last night, I was quick to say YES!

Why not? Sleepovers are fun! We’d eat ice cream, snuggle, maybe watch a movie in bed. Sure, I’d probably get boy toes pressed into my ribs all night, but it’s not like I’d end up re-examining my life or anything. We’d play, we’d go to bed, and then we’d wake up. There’s always coffee. No big deal!

How quickly we forget!

Strange things do happen at sleepovers.

Like the sleepover we had when Sarah turned seven. Around 1:30 am, I had to beg a sobbing party-goer to let me babysit her Tamagotchi virtual pet which required constant playing, training, and virtual poop cleaning OR IT WOULD DIE.

Like the sleepover party we had when Ben turned eight and he broke his wrist climbing out a window.

Like the sleepover Sam had in middle school, when he and his buddy showed each other their pocket knives and Sam ended up with 15 stitches.

On reflection, maybe I should re-examine my parenting life! Were virtual pets invited to the birthday party? How much candy had I let Ben eat? Who brings a knife to a sleepover? (A 2009 middle school boy, that’s who.)

Don’t worry. The boys got through their sleepover with Lala and Pappy without a single teardrop or injury. But I’ll admit it, something did happen that caused me to reflect.

Around 9:30 pm, we were just getting settled in to sleep, when Jack hopped onto the foot of our bed and meowed at the bedroom window. Jack’s our inside/outside cat. I know it sounds weird, but we’ve gotten into the habit of letting him in and out our window. (We do not do this with children. That was Ben’s idea, and it was a one-time thing.)

Josiah and Daniel found this fascinating.

They liked the whole process. That first, he meows at the window. That second, he’s trained us to LIFT him to the window sill, like we’re his personal cat elevator. That third, we open the window and let him stand there a moment.

“Before he jumps down, he needs to know that he’s safe,” I explained. “He needs to be sure no predator is out there, waiting to surprise him.”

Jack demonstrated, as if he and I were team-teaching the boys CAT 101. He stretched. He sniffed the air. He looked into the darkness. He felt the breeze.

“Go on, now.” I said to Jack.

Jack sniffed some more. He looked some more. He stood some more.

“Sometimes he does this,” I said.

Jack kept standing. Sniffing. Looking.

“Come on, Jack. Move.”

He was giving the boys their money’s worth.

I did what I do sometimes. I lowered the window sash, just enough to let Jack feel it against him. So maybe he’d think to himself, Oh yeah, I’ve been standing here a while. Gnats are flying in. Mosquitos, too, probably. I should really get a move on.

But Jack didn’t have time to think all those thoughts because in a split-second, Josiah jumped in front of the window and threw up the sash! “Lala! Gentle!” he said. “Jack needs to feel safe!”

Did he just say Gentle!?

He did.

The funny thing is that just this Sunday, I taught an adult Sunday school class on the spiritual gift of gentleness. We defined it as powerful care with a soft touch. Or, put another way, the practice of holding back your own strength as you care for those you’re to love and protect, so that you don’t damage them in any way. To help us think about it, I brought in a hard-boiled egg and challenged someone to crack open the shell with a sledgehammer. No one volunteered, so I volun-told my husband. It was fun to watch. The egg only got mushed a little.

Did I need to go back to Sunday school?

It made me wonder how gentle I really am. When do I say gentle words, but lower the sash against people I love, just to let them feel it? To prompt them to move a little faster? To try a little harder? To put a little more oomph in what I’ve asked them to do?

“It’s okay, Jack,” Josiah said. “Take your time. We’re not going anywhere.”

Well, we were going to bed.

We made it there, eventually. What’s a few extra gnats? A few toes in my ribs? It was a fun night. And in the morning, before I even got up, guess who was there to greet us?

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