How to Stay the Same for 10 Million Years – A Cat’s Guide to Evolutionary Success (and Domination)

From baby faces to slicing teeth. Perfection isn’t just genetic – it’s a lifestyle.
By Lucifer Fluffovich (as told to his mum, Kirsti Harefallet)

 

Congratulations.

You’ve just stumbled upon the most important self-improvement article you’ll ever read, written by someone who hasn’t improved at all in millennia. And that’s the point.

While other species spent the last ten million years mutating, stretching snouts, growing weird paws, and trying new diets (bamboo, bears, really?), we cats mastere...