July 18, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…”How to Dial a Murder”!

This episode originally aired April 5 1978

This episode was originally titled “The Laurel and Hardy W.C. Fields Citizen Kane Murder Case”

The auditorium where Dr. Mason delivers his lesson is the same one where Dr. Keppel screened his subliminal spiked film in “Double Exposure”.

Unlike most actors who fondly reflected back on their time on Columbo, actor Nico Williamson had next to no recollection of his experience: “I don’t really remember that much about it. I was getting divorced and I had to have the money. It was one of those things. It was okay. You remember much more about it than I do. That was about ten years ago. I’m sorry.” Refreshingly honest!

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order….

The sleigh, the snow globe, and Rosebud. We’ve got a Citizen Kane thing going on here.

His dogs travel everywhere with him. If he’s a dog-loving murderer, I guess he can’t be all that bad.

“She was seeing somebody else.” PUSH IN ON Charlie. Oh, this guy’s a goner.

I do that treadmill/heart rate test every year as part of my annual physical. The last couple of times they’ve noted an anomaly they call “scooping”. It’s notable enough to warrant pointing out, but evidently not concerning enough to recommend further follow-up.

The heartbeat playing over the ensuing scenes is wonderfully ominous.

I like his little fist pump after the murder “Yes!
“I never felt better in my life.”

Intro Columbo playing with the killer dogs. Not sure if that’s procedure after this sort of thing.

“You’re very tall,”notes Columbo. I believe he’s standing at least two steps up from him.

Wow. He doesn’t seem at all upset by the fact they are going to put his dogs down. I take it back. I hate this guy.

Of course Mrs. Columbo is a big fan of Dr. Mason.

There’s a myth about dobermans “turning into spontaneous killers?”

Mason is an old film buff and collector. And Columbo is a fan of W.C. Fields.

And there’s that reference to Citizen Kane. The clues are presenting themselves in subtle fashion.

The phone receiver was the off the hook and dangling, suggesting the victim was on the phone when he was attacked. But who was he talking to? Who indeed.

The peculiarities of rotary phone tones is no doubt lost on most today.

The dogs are named Laurel and Hardy!

“Well, we’ll be seeing more of each other, sir, until the investigation is settled.” Oh, that’s a promise.

Wow. It’s a young Kim Cattrall!

Why is she clutching a teddy bear? How old is she? Reminds me of an ex-girlfriend who was much too old for teddy bears too but had one named Truffles she used to make talk. One night I phoned to tell her I was running late only to have “Truffles” answer the phone. I explained I’d late and “Truffles “asked “Who is this?”. I ignored the question and continued talking only to be interrupted by Truffle shouting: “I don’t know who you are! I’m hanging up!” And did. When I finally arrived later that night, my concerned girlfriend asked: “Why are you late?”. Exasperated, I replied: “I told you I’d be late. I spoke to you on the phone.” “No you didn’t!”she countered. “That was Truffles!” Anyway, yes, she was absolutely bonkers. But not without her charms.

“So I talked it over with Sigmund and we took it.”
I’m having PTSD flashbacks to that relationship now.

Oh, he takes her up on her offer of hot chocolate. I would too!

Aha! She was swimming underwater and didn’t hear the phone ring.

Mason using his self-help terminology on her. I had another ex who was into the whole life coach thing and would spend huge sums of money to attend seminars where people essentially told you what you logically should have figured out on your own for free. This Joanne Nicholls is an amalgamation of all my exes. If she ends up ending the episode by marrying her step-brother, then we’ll have completed the trifecta.

Really? She’s into HIM? And he’s not into HER? Okay, I’m willing to suspend disbelief for the sake of entertainment but this feels like two bridges too far.

Dogs revert to their wolf state? Do I have to be concerned about Sharky, my blind puggle?

“If you want to protect your wife, lietuentant, why don’t you just teach her karate.” Dissing poor Dog.

Adorable Dog moment when Columbo tells him not to listen to her: “You’re only a dog. You’re not a college professor.”

Hey, it’s a young Ed Begley Jr.!

“The lieutenant is doing everything he can to keep them alive.” Good old Columbo.

He’s going to feed the dogs chocolates! But Columbo stops him in time. Phew.

Love Columbo trying to incite the dogs: “Kill! Kiss! Diamonds! Rubies! Sneakers!”

They do perk up however when they hear the phone ring. “Terrific.”

“I can’t get it out of my head that someone wanted the dogs to kill.”

The investigators still can’t figure out why his wife’s car went off the cliff.

Mason likening Columbo to a puppy laying landmines is pretty funny.

“I could sit and listen to somebody talk about me for hours.” Don’t know if that’s true. He seems a pretty humble fellow.

Columbo exits, then comes back in: “You don’t have any time now, sir?” A hilarious pain-in-the-ass.

The old west town complete with rolling tumbleweeds!

Mason returns to his office to discover – Columbo already there! Classic Columbo move.

The Mystery of the Missing Jacket!

“I’ll just stay on here and gestalt a while.” Great line.

She confronts him with the fact that his ex wife and friend were lovers. He’s surprised, not because it’s a revelation but because she knows! Oh boy!

He has his hands wrapped around her throat when Columbo arrives on the scene. She’s just going to dismiss the almost strangulation?

This scene of them enjoying wine and word association by the fireplace is great. “Murder = Word”. Columbo has it figured out.

The dogs have only 48 hours to live!

The dogs fail to react to the word association game – but they DO react to “Rosebud” while Columbo is taking the call. Aha!

An interesting montage sequence here. How much time has passed?

Mason returns home to find the rest of the dead man’s suit hanging. Then, he is surprised by his dogs. Then enter Columbo! Oh, this guy is going down.

Columbo breaks it down. The single phone ringing. The various clues hidden in the pool table. In one pocket, the ball recovered at the location where Mason trained his dogs to attack a straw-stuffed dummy. In another pocket, fabric from the missing jacket. In the third, a photo of Charlie and Mason’s ex. And then the elevated heart beat (reminiscent of “Troubled Waters”).

“I must say, I found you disappointing. I mean your incompetence. You left enough clues to sink a ship.”

But Mason has one more card to play. “Rosebud!”

This is a terrific moment where it looks like the dogs are going to attack Columbo but, instead, are actually playing with him because…they’ve been deprogrammed. In, presumably, less than two days. Don’t really buy it, but it’s a great little twist.

“I swear you’d taken my course.”
“Oh no, sir. Never. It’s just that I enjoy the pleasure of the game.”
Great exchange.

A pretty good episode and one I vaguely recall watching when I was younger because it made me deathly afraid of dobermans at an early age. Although I found the murderer kind of milquetoast and clearly not up to the level of some of the previous masterminds who have matched wits with Columbo, I really did love the murder scenario and ensuing investigation. I also did love the fact that Columbo saved the dogs at the end. Again, not sure how realistic that is, but I did appreciate it. Some great lines and a wonderful Dog scene makes for an enjoyable episode.

My revised episode rankings: 1. Forgotten Lady, 2. Try and Catch Me, 3. Now You See Him, 4. Fade in to Murder, 5. Negative Reaction, 6. Any Old Port in a Storm, 7. Murder Under Glass, 8. Double Exposure, 9. A Friend In Deed, 10. Double Shock, 11. A Stitch in Crime, 12. Death Lends a Hand, 13. Suitable for Framing, 14. Publish or Perish, 15. How to Dial a Murder, 16. Dagger of the Mind, 17. Requiem for a Falling Star, 18. Prescription: Murder, 19. Murder by the Book/Ransom for a Dead Man (tie), 20. By Dawn’s Early Light, 21. Swan Song, 22. Troubled Waters, 23. Lady in Waiting, 24. An Exercise in Fatality, 25. Etude in Black, 26. Playback, 27. The Most Crucial Game, 28. Blueprint for Murder, 29. Lovely But . A Deadly State of Mind, 31. The Most Dangerous Match, 32. The Greenhouse Jungle 33. Identity Crisis, 34. Lovely But Lethal, 35. Dead Weight, 36. Short Fuse, 37. Make Me a Perfect Murder, 38. A Case of Immunity, 39. Candidate for Crime, 40. Mind Over Mayhem, 41. Old Fashioned Murder, 42. Last Salute to the Commodore.

Finally, it’s time to consider whether Columbo has enough evidence to our murderer away. Will Dr. Mason be found GUILTY or is he looking at an ACQUITTAL? Well, I think in this case, the evidence against him is pretty solid. Once Laurel and Hardy get on the stand, he’s as good as toast. GUILTY!

This Monday, our Columbo rewatch ends (for now) with the season 7 finale “The Conspirators”.

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