Getting a Handle On My Shortened Fuse

A quest to create or find more chill, balance, and centering.Photo by Fr0ggy5 on Unsplash

Lately, I go from calm to irked like a high-performance car goes from zero to sixty.

I recognize that there’s something in the collective consciousness eating away at my calm, my balance, my okay. Without a doubt, this is tied to the horribly unkind, uncompassionate, hateful, spiteful “people” in positions of power. When did it become okay to be outright rude, nasty, and disrespectful?

The not-funny thing about this is history repeating itself. All you need to do is look to the Fall of Rome, and the echoes in modern government are clear. Somehow, “they” think it will turn out differently this time. It won’t. But while the coming collapse might be scary, it might also be enlightening.

Nobody knows. And nobody can know. This is a matter that is yet to happen. The shape of it will remain unformed until it comes to pass.

So what do we have? The here and now. All I can do is work with what I have, here and now, to live the best that I can in the midst of this insanity.

This is why I feel the need to get a handle on my shortened fuse.

A history of temper

In my youth, I got super angry, super fast. It took very little to ignite the spark. Once it burned, once I was angry, I shouted, yelled, threw things, broke things, punched holes in walls. My road rage was unpleasant.

I NEVER hurt another person, animal, or the like. My actions were exclusively against the inanimate and inorganic.

Over the years, between therapy, meditation, mindfulness, and active work, I’m a lot better. I usually can recenter and rebalance myself long before the desire to lash out strikes me.

That’s not to say I haven’t flipped a chair, screamed into the void, or really really wanted to break something recently. It’s just an incredibly rare occasion rather than the norm.

While I use active conscious awareness to keep my temper in check, I’m finding that little things irk me quickly, and I become frustrated all too easily. My fuse has been shortened again.

What do I do about that?

Seriously, Korbin??Getting a handle on my shortened fuse

My kitten means well. He’s a love, and he demands my attention. The trouble is, that often means he forces his way onto my desk, up against my keyboard, and knocks shit down along the way.

Snapping at a kitten doesn’t do anyone any good. He’s just being a kitten. Yet, this irks me.

Okay, so likewise, when I read about the latest harmful bill passing through Congress, the President’s unhinged tweet, or anything else distressing, I feel my shortened fuse being lit.

Living in a fear-based society is bad enough. But the increased weaponization of fear from too many of our “leaders” and the hatred being increasingly normalized are making it all seem worse.

So, of course, my fuse is shortened and easily lit. I am a vocal proponent of kindness, compassion, empathy, caring, and generally giving a fuck. When you have a fuse and you’re surrounded by matches being lit constantly, it’s easy to get set off.

What can I do about this? First, recognize it. I see that I have a shortened fuse. That’s based on how easily I go from calm to irked, my anger flares, and my frustration burns. Recognizing this informs me that, yeah, I currently am working with a shortened fuse.

Now I must acknowledge it. Denying it or ignoring it will not fix it. Thus, I must acknowledge what it is. Otherwise, it will continue to be easily lit, because I can’t lengthen my shortened fuse, remove myself from a situation, or do anything to better handle this mad world.

Living with my shortened fuse

Okay, I recognize it and acknowledge it. Now what? Now it’s up to me to do something about this. Or not.

Disliking the quick-tempered, ragey person I was in my youth, I must use active, conscious awareness to take control of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the like.

What can I actively do? I can pause more. Stop for a minute or two of deep breathing. Meditate more frequently. Go outside and get on my bicycle or go for a walk. Sit with a cat and disturb them before they disturb me. Watch something that makes me laugh. Reach out to a friend. Share my thoughts with myself in my journal. Write a blog and share this with you so we can help each other through this insanity.

The only things I can control in this life are within me. They include my thoughts, feelings, intentions, positive or negative approach, and actions. My shortened fuse ties to my thoughts, feelings, and approach and is connected to subconscious beliefs, values, habits, and memories.

Via active conscious awareness – mindfulness – I can choose and decide who, what, where, how, and why to be. Ergo, I choose if I let my shortened fuse get lit or not. And once lit, I choose to let it set off the bomb or snuff it out.

More chill, balance, and centering are the best way to live with my shortened fuse, because elongating it appears extra challenging in the foreseeable future. Acting on that is a frequent choice for me to make. The options above are only some of the things I can do for it and myself.

Thanks for letting me share this with you.

If you have a shortened fuse, what are you doing to work with it?

This is the seventh-hundred-eighth (708) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

The post Getting a Handle On My Shortened Fuse appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.