This just in: moving is terrible

You’re in a rented house in the Hamptons. The house has white walls, triangular windows to match the A-frame of the house, and a long porch with a pool that encroaches on the surrounding forest. When you came in yesterday, your friend pointed out a rabbit in the yard. You had taken the Long Island Rail Road across the aisle from an open-container rabbit sitting in a gingham carrier on top of a pee pad.

This house has a wine fridge and a microwave hidden behind a cabinet door and expansive honeyed...