Ask. Believe. Receive: How To Manifest A Winning Relationship

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

No one is a mind reader. No one understands how you need to be touched, cared for, or how to handle your personality quirks automatically. Yet here you are expecting someone to walk into your life and say the right things, do the right things, and give you that “happily ever after”.  That’s total bullshit.

I shouldn’t have to tell a man how to treat me— he should just know.

I shouldn’t have to ask a man for anything— he just gives.

I shouldn’t have to explain why I’m upset— it should be obvious.

Do you know who says shit like this? Teenagers, cowards, and Basicas who are afraid to express their needs for fear of rejection. You want someone to magically know what you want because you hate asking and you can't handle being told "no". It's time to stop living in fear and blaming it on bullshit.

"I'm an INFJ personality. I struggle with anxious attachment. My Cancer Rising/Aries Moon causes me to be avoidant." All that noise just to justify why you don't go for what you want in life. Stop diagnosing yourself with TikTok buzzwords and recognize that labels don't have power unless you give in to them. Who's in control of your mind? Who's the center of this fucking universe? YOU ARE. Everything you want in this world you can have, but you must have the heart to ask for it!

Closed mouths don't get Chanel! Weak bitches get played. Anxious minds manifest NOTHING.

“I shouldn’t have to train someone how to love me.” Tell me you’re on the spectrum without telling me you’re on the spectrum, Basica. Assuming that every person who dates you knows how to make you happy is why you all start off strong, only to argue and break up after a month. First dates are easy, it's superficial getting to know you bullshit, but the deeper you go, the more specific things need to become.

No woman is low maintenance. Each one of you reading this requires consistent effort that PROVES a man sees you, respects you, and cherishes you. Stop running from this fact just so you can get along with some dusty ass man, and start standing on business! Your heart requires work. If you don't believe you're special enough to get the type of men you like to put in that work, then you've already lost the war.

The first step in manifesting better relationships is understanding that you have to be a proactive Main Character in the story you call your life. This means getting out of your head and being vulnerable enough to open up about your core needs. You went on a few dates and text each other flirty shit... that's not deep, beloved. You're still strangers, so how is he supposed to know who you are and how to move in order to pour the proper love into you?

If a man’s ex was a homebody who didn’t want anything but quality time while sitting on the couch, how does he know that you require more if you don’t say these things during the dating stage?

EXAMPLE ON HOW TO MANIFEST REAL RESULTS: Last week, I gave this woman advice on how to deal with this guy she had been dating for nearly two months. I told her to test him out with a few simple demands that I scripted out for her (that script is below). This woman did exactly what I told her to do. Yesterday, she sent me a picture of a watch he purchased from Tiffany and updated me that he got tickets to the Hollywood Bowl. 

This woman wanted two things: She liked getting surprise gifts, and she loved music. Yet she never opened her mouth and told this man these things; she was waiting for him to just do it… Again, how the FUCK does he know what you like if you don’t open your mouth? I finally forced her to open her mouth, and SURPRISE SURPRISE, he did what she wanted. That’s not training a man; that’s called communicating your needs.

Every single one of you reading this should be doing that with the men you date, the men you’re in a relationship with, even the men you’re married to… but you don’t, instead you wait for the fairytale scenario of Mr. Mindreader. “G.L., I met a man who just speaks my language without me having to say a word,” and that’s because that man either was in a long relationship recently with a woman who was your exact same type, or he’s STILL in a relationship. ...oops, your "perfect mind reading man" knows what to do because he has other bitches on his roster who already taught him. Still feel special?

My homegirl always says, “you can’t find a better boyfriend than another woman’s husband,” and she’s right because married men are experts in reading a woman’s mind and anticipating their needs. But in the non-side chick world, you will always need to stop being shy, break that introverted shell, and be transparent about what you want from a relationship. No more waiting for him to figure it out. You're too old to be getting dinner, dick, and excuses as to why you're back on a dating app. Settle for more!

Most relationships never go beyond the lust stage because lust is easy, while love is effort. Don't think you're crazy for wanting someone to show up and show out for you. Don't let a lazy muthafucka convince you that the bare minimum should be enough. Real energy isn't telling you that they care, it's showing you. Value is everything. A person being obsessed with who you are, not what you can do for them, has to be the bar, or you’ll keep settling for fling after fling or end up stuck with a man who will always put his needs above yours.

The formula isn’t to go with HIS flow. It’s to stand up and let it be known what you need from the jump, so there’s never any confusion that you have needs that must be met if he's to win your heart. This is Sparta. There is no room for hints, beating around the bush, or any little girl games born out of a fear of being rejected. Know what you want, say what you want, and get it every time out. That’s what I’m about to break down…

HOW TO BE LOVED IN THE WAY YOU NEED

Words of Affirmation: You like to be uplifted. You want to be told how someone feels about you, that you’re doing a good job, and you need constant reassurance verbally.

Does that make you weak and needy? No. Then why the fuck don’t you explain this to the people you’re dating? You don’t need to come out and say “My love language is” like you’re some idiot lounging near a Love Island fire pit. What you need to do is wait for this to come up in real life organically, then double down on that want.

Every conversation is an opportunity to train a man how to love you and separate yourself from his exes. For example, if you're on a date and someone compliments you, praises you, or tells you how they appreciate something you did for them. Don't giggle. Don't blush. Don't shy away. Pause! Thank them for that and let them in on your secret.

“It’s the small things, like you recognizing me, that make me feel seen. The more you can tell me I’m valued, the further that goes in showing me that you understand who I am as a person.” It’s that simple. You don’t need to tell someone daily; doing this once or twice will be enough for them to pick up on the hint that words matter to you.

Here's the secret thing about men: we are slaves to appreciation. In sports, we love it when the coach gives us a pat on the back. As kids, we liked it when the teacher singled us out as doing a good job. Aiming to please is how men get rewarded. To tell him what you like to hear is the first step. Next, you let him show you that he understands by doing it without being prompted. The final step is to then reward him for doing so with a thank you, kiss, praise, etc... which will positively reinforce how to treat you going forward.

This is the easiest three-step psychology trick on the planet, but you're not doing it. Start, and I promise you it'll solve 90% of your miscommunication problems overnight.

Receiving Gifts: You like tokens of love. It’s not material, these things are symbols that a person appreciates you. Never feel like you’re shallow or will be perceived as begging.

Every week, I help women receive the gifts they want, rather than simply sitting around and waiting to be spoiled. Just this year, I've seen two women get cars, one get her own bank account that a man fills up monthly, and last month, this woman got all of her loans paid off as a graduation gift. The reason why these women were able to listen to me and then go back and get what they wanted was...

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