July 14, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…”Make Me a Perfect Murder”!

This episode aired February 25, 1978

Columbo’s tete-a-tete with Kay at the abandoned shack was not in the original script. It was added at the request of Peter Falk. According to producer Richard Allan Simmons: “Peter came to me and said he was concerned because something seemed to be missing from the script. Peter thought there was no nexus between the two characters (Columbo and Kay Freestone). Nothing in the script brought them together.”

In the scene in which Columbo questions Walter the projectionist, he mentions that his film-obsessed nephew is a huge fan of Francis Ford Coppola. Falk and Coppola were, in fact, good friends and Falk was considered for two critical roles in The Godfather: the part of the consigliere that went to Robert Duvall, and the part of Sonny Corleone that went to James Caan.

This marks Columbo’s earliest appearance in an episode, the result of a network request given the original script didn’t have him appear until much later. The chase and car crash sequence – along with Columbo’s neck injury – is ultimately superfluous to the story and just one of many presumably bits added to pad this episode’s bloated runtime.

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order…

Wow! Columbo introduced right off the bat. Is this a first?

Kay is attending a mix, a key part of the production process that has the producers sit down to a screening of a given episode or film and offer notes on its audio elements, everything from dialogue and music to sound effects.

“Okay with me. I’m just the producer.” Oh, I’ve been there.

Ah, the villainous network executive. Art imitates life.

Hey, it’s Patrick O’Neal, former murderer from “Blueprint for Murder”!

Is it sanitary, hiding the car keys in the drink? Also, how would that affect the keyless remote? I suppose we should be thankful he didn’t get her cat.

He passes her over for promotion even though he’s been sleeping with her because he feels she’s unqualified. That is NOT the way Hollywood works. Unqualified people move up the ladder all the time.

“Make me a perfect murder, baby.” One of those rare instances where the episode title is actually in the dialogue. Reminds me of Dark Matter where I had fans vote on episode titles based on three choices, all of which were lines of dialogue from the respective episode.

He sends her off with a car…and an idea for murder.

I would not want anyone making adjustments to my neck. In fact, that twist makes it look like he broke it

The Professional. Is this a real movie?

Why is Mark, our murder victim, not watching with them?

The projectionist seems to have no sense of time.

I love this suspenseful sequence with the audio countdown, even though it’s completely nonsensical. Is her watch broken?

Very lucky for her she doesn’t run in to anyone.

The guard stops to check the centerfold from the girly magazine in the waiting area. Ah, the 70’s.

I like the fact that she’s pretty cool throughout. Ruthless. Like a real network executive.

A classic Columbo intro finds him already at the crime scene, making himself at home on the couch.

It’s essentially a lock-room mystery. And Columbo assumes the victim knew his murderer because…his glasses were off. Hmmm. Seems like a bit of a stretch, but I’ll allow it.

Wonder if that’s Peter Falk’s Emmy award on the desk.

Ah, the threatening letters to the network, back in the days before social media made things much easier.

“Like you got a tiny voice whispering in your ear trying to tell you who did it.” Has Columbo been schizophrenic all along? Does this tiny voice belong to the non-existent Mrs. Columbo?

This film reel-switching sequence reminds of the time I went to see Life of Brian and the second reel ran backwards. But because it was Monty Python, everyone assumed it was just part of the movie.

Columbo just happens up on Kate’s discarded glove. Not exactly clever plotting here.

“If there’s one thing worse than a television lady who thinks she knows everything, it’s a television lady who knows everything.” This applies to both genders.

Should Columbo be touching those buttons? What IS the point of this interminable editing room sequence? This has to be the worst example of padding in the series to date.

What’s the point of this whole storyline involving the reluctant Valerie Kirk? Why does she have the key to Kay’s apartment? Are they in a relationship?

Kay giving Columbo a massage during the interview feels kinda creepy.

What is with the dramatic ripping away of the dry-cleaning plastic?

As much as I always love a Dog cameo, this scene also feels pretty padded.

How does he know Dog isn’t enjoying a show: “Well, he would look very bored, sir. All droopy and listless.” Oh, I’ve been there too.

Boy, network executives today would kill for those 70’s ratings.

It was a woman’s blazer! It was hers!

Great suspenseful sequence here of Kay attempting to retrieve the gun from the top of the elevator. But how could she have assumed the gun would not have been noticed?

Yes, it WAS a bad decision to swap in the unaired The Professional as a last-minute substitute without any advance publicity, effectively burning it (as they say). Mark was right not to give her the promotion.

Why is she bringing up all these various camera angles of Columbo?

The discarded glove in the projection room had powder burns. Sigh.

Ah, they already found the gun in the elevator and replaced it, hoping she would take the bait. And she did!

Well, as much as I really like Trish Van Devere’s Kay Freestone and the admittedly nonsensical-yet-suspenseful countdown to murder sequence, this episode was a huge disappointment. Setting aside its annoying superfluous elements, the writing felt lazy. The best crime fiction sees our detective earn their conviction but here, it’s all handed to him – the carelessly discarded glove, the gun discovered in plain view. It all makes for a dramatically unsatisfying 90+ minutes of television.

My revised episode rankings: 1. Forgotten Lady, 2. Try and Catch Me, 3. Now You See Him, 4. Fade in to Murder, 5. Negative Reaction, 6. Any Old Port in a Storm, 7. Murder Under Glass, 8. Double Exposure, 9. A Friend In Deed, 10. Double Shock, 12. A Stitch in Crime, 12. Death Lends a Hand, 13. Suitable for Framing, 14. Publish or Perish, 15. Dagger of the Mind, 16. Requiem for a Falling Star, 17. Prescription: Murder, 18. Murder by the Book/Ransom for a Dead Man (tie), 19. By Dawn’s Early Light, 20. Swan Song, 21. Troubled Waters, 22. Lady in Waiting, 23. An Exercise in Fatality, 24. Etude in Black, 25. Playback, 26. The Most Crucial Game, 27. Blueprint for Murder, 28. Lovely But Lethal, 29. The Bye Bye Sky-High IQ Murder Case, 30. A Deadly State of Mind, 31. The Most Dangerous Match, 32. The Greenhouse Jungle 33. Identity Crisis, 34. Dead Weight, 35. Short Fuse, 36. Make Me a Perfect Murder, 37. A Case of Immunity, 38. Candidate for Crime, 39. Mind Over Mayhem, 40. Old Fashioned Murder, 41. Last Salute to the Commodore.

Speaking of conviction, given the evidence Columbo has gathered, do we assume Kay Freestone will be found GUILTY or, given her final promise to keep fighting, will she survive to inflict terrible programming decision on an unwary public? Alas, unfortunately for Kate (but fortunately for the viewers back home), I think that the discarded glove and the gun-retrieval-and-discarding will put her away for as long as Supernatural’s t.v. run.

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P.S. Here’s the recording of yesterday’s Best Of Space discussion on For All Mankind, Fringe, and The Mandalorian…

https://x.com/BaronDestructo/status/1944471948911607837

 

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