How Fixing My Son’s Morning Routine Helped Me Reclaim My Day

“The sun doesn’t look sunny enough to wake up today.”

That’s what my child said one morning when I gently pulled his blanket down and whispered, “Time to get up.”

I paused. Not because I didn’t know what to say next, but because… honestly? I felt that.

The Hidden Chaos Behind Calm Mornings

Before we fixed our mornings, they weren’t explosive; they were draining. Not loud, but slow. Quiet refusals. Delays. Emotional tug-of-war.

My son, diagnosed with ADHD, often needed more time. Not just to physically get up but to mentally shift from cosy cocoon to “let’s start the day.”

As an independent contractor, juggling home and work, I needed to get moving, too. Breakfasts, planning lessons, checking emails, writing deadlines, remembering to be both “Mommy” and “Me” in one uninterrupted stretch of morning.

I was never “late for work” in the traditional sense. There was no office to reach by 9. But I was consistently late for my own day. I couldn’t start writing on time. Couldn’t prep for client sessions in peace. My head was already scrambled before I opened a single tab.

What Didn’t Work (And What We Skipped Entirely)

Let’s be clear, there were no charts.

No star stickers.

No laminated morning routines stuck on the fridge.

Not because those things aren’t helpful for many kids, they absolutely can be. But they didn’t feel right for us.

I knew my child needed something else: predictability, not perfection. And connection, not correction.

So we skipped the usual tools and built our mornings differently.

The Game That Changed Everything

We kept our routine the same. That was rule number one. Wake up. Bathroom. Breakfast. Dress up. Bag by the door.

The order never changed. But the energy did.

Some days, we raced each other to the bathroom.

On other days, I gave him his requested “5 more minutes” to cuddle under the blanket, and I cuddled too.

Sometimes, we pretended the hallway was a lava bridge and the floor could only be crossed if we tiptoed like penguins.

It wasn’t about gimmicks. It was about preparing him for what was coming, step by step.

We got him an alarm clock just for fun. He started setting it on his own. The ownership made him proud.

He began waking up knowing what was to come next. There was less resistance. More trust.

And slowly, our mornings became… ours.

So What Actually Changed?

It wasn’t just him.

It was me.

I wasn’t reacting anymore. I was responding.

Because once his morning had a rhythm, mine did too.

I could start work when I said I would.

Write, teach, plan, and create with a clearer mind and fewer emotional leftovers from the morning scramble.

Fixing our morning routine didn’t just help him transition into the day; it also helped him stay focused throughout the day. It helped me transition from mum-mode into work-mode.

The Real Secret: Routines Aren’t Rigid. They’re Anchors.

If you’re a shadow teacher trying to ease a student into the school day…

If you’re a teacher who wonders why one child takes longer to settle during circle time…

If you’re a parent who feels like mornings are emotionally exhausting before your coffee is even brewed…

Know this:

Routines don’t have to be strict to be effective.

They just have to be predictable enough to feel safe.

Especially for neurodivergent kids, transitions aren’t about being fast; they’re about being prepared. And sometimes, that preparation comes in the form of five extra minutes, a playful race, or a cuddle on the couch.

What Helped Us (That Might Help You Too)Same sequence every day: No matter what time we wake up, the order stays the same.Built-in connection: Hugs, cuddles, and eye contact before instructions.No power struggles: If he needs 5 more minutes and we have it, I give it.Ownership: He sets his own alarm. That tiny act built his confidence for the morning.Fun folded in: A game, a pretend race, a silly challenge bring lightness to a structured routine.What’s Your Morning Like?

If you’ve ever felt like mornings are quietly draining or sneakily stressful, I see you.

Whether you’re guiding a student, supporting your child, or managing your own neurodivergent brain, remember: calm mornings aren’t built overnight. But they can be built.

I’d love to know what the most unexpected thing your child has said in the morning is.

Or what little change helped your mornings feel less chaotic?

Share it in the comments.

And if you’d like help figuring out a routine that works for your unique child or student, I offer 1:1 consultations.

You can book a session with me hereRecommended Resources

Seeking tools or courses to enhance your morning routine? Here are some tried-and-true options tailored for families like ours:

Helpful Product: Kids’ Alarm & Sleep Trainer

Kidsleep Globetrotter Sleep Trainer

A gentle, child-friendly clock that uses sun and moon icons to signal wake-up or bedtime. It helps young kids internalise routines without nagging, perfect for boosting independence and morning readiness.

Free  Courses to Build Routine Confidence Building Healthy Daily Habits – Learn the psychology behind daily habits, which can help you craft family routines that stick without pressure. Reach Success with Micro Habits and Routines – Discover how small, consistent changes can help both you and your child manage days with more calm and productivity.

Both courses are free, accessible, and offer practical tools you can introduce at your own pace.

Why These Work

These tools support what worked for us organically:

Ownership: When kids set their own morning triggers, like a clock, they’re more invested in following through.Predictability: Clocks + consistent routines build internal structure without rigid charts.Micro‑habits: Small steps compound into calm mornings, leaving space and energy for everyone later in the day. How to Use These in Your Morning FlowStepToolAction1Sleep Trainer ClockIntroduce the clock as a fun morning buddy. Explain that the sun = time to wake up, the moon = rest time.2Micro‑habits CourseTake one free module each week. Apply one type, such as setting consistent wake-up cues or planning transition phrases.3Daily Habits CourseUse your learnings to refine the flow: wake up → cuddle → bathroom → breakfast → work/play time.

With these supports in place, routines feel less like rules and more like reliable rhythms you both can count on.

Want Personalised Morning Support?

I offer 1:1 consultations to help you design a morning routine that actually works for your child and your life.

Book a session here

By combining the right tools with small habit changes, mornings can go from exhausting to empowering for everyone.