Keys to the heart

With a strange kind of certainty Rye wanted me out of the room, but without a single idea as to why, I made my way upstairs. If he was determined to keep whatever it was hidden from me to the point of attempting to control the movement of his colours, then it had to be important to him. I cared enough about him to respect that, especially if it had something to do with where he was taking me today.

Once in my room, I dumped the contents of my school bag straight onto the bed. I was half tempted to just leave it there till I got back later, but I figured Mum would hate me for it, so I made short work of scooping it into a tidy-ish pile and moving it onto my desk. I then found a mostly empty sketch pad, and grabbed the new set of pencils Rye had given me for my birthday, and shoved them into my bag. After that I grabbed my wallet, inhaler and keys, dropping them into my bag alongside everything else. Finally I took a moment to make sure I wasn’t missing anything important, before making my way back downstairs.

‘I think the only things I need now is my shoes and coat,’ I grinned at Rye as I re-entered the kitchen.

‘Same,’ his colours swirled with excited apprehension.

‘It’s almost twenty past nine,’ Dad checked his watch again. ‘If we leave now, we should make it to Paignton just before ten o’clock,’ his tone sounded thoughtful, but his colours moved in a knowing kind of way. ‘Well, come on then.’

Neither one of us argued. Instead we made short work of putting on our coats and shoes, and made it out of the house within a couple of minutes. The excited apprehension remained in Rye’s colours throughout the car journey. Not that I could blame him, I felt like my own stomach was filled with more butterflies than I knew what to do with. Even if we had to act like we were just friends the entire time, this was still our first official proper date. Okay, so maybe we’d done other bits of our relationship out of order, but that didn’t mean this wasn’t important. If anything doing something any other couple might take for granted felt even more important than all the bits we could do behind closed doors. Or at least it did to me.

Dad dropped us off at the edge of the car park, telling us he’d meet us back in roughly the same spot at three. He then reminded us again to be careful, before telling us to have fun.

‘You know when Mrs A told me going tuh the zoo might be a good idea, it wasn’t as a date suggestion,’ I ruffled Rye’s hair as we made our way towards the entrance.

‘I know idiot,’ he knocked my hand away. ‘And I wanted to take you here way before she said anything about it.’

‘Coz it’s one of the places your mum takes you on your days out?’ I shot him a knowing look.

‘Last time we came it was before…’ he stopped himself, his colours darkening for a moment. ‘Well, it’s been a couple of years,’ he shrugged and shifted his gaze away. ‘But you used to talk about taking me away on holiday with you because you didn’t like me missing out, so…’

‘So you thought you’d show me how you weren’t,’ I smirked. ‘And you wonder why I keep calling you adorable,’ I lowered my voice.

‘Still trying to give me that complex, huh?’ Rye playfully rolled his eyes. ‘But… well… yeah, I figured it might be fun. Plus, well… its November, and a Sunday, so… maybe it won’t be that busy and…’

‘We might find a few opportunities to be more than just friends,’ I watched his colours flush. ‘Okay Rye, I like your idea. For all the reasons. But isn’t this kinda paying for more than just lunch?’

‘Actually your mum helped me out a little. We’ve got a packed lunch with us,’ he gave a nervous laugh.

‘Well played,’ I grinned, ruffling his hair again. ‘And this way I’ll at least know for sure I’m gonna have something I like.’

‘Of course idiot,’ he knocked my hand away, ‘that was the whole point.’

‘The whole point?’ I cocked an eyebrow at him.

‘Okay, half of the point,’ he shrugged, colours moving playfully. ‘But, still…’

By this point we’d made it to the entrance. It was a little after ten, since we’d hit a small amount of traffic on the way. There was a family just ahead, already paying. The lack of anyone else waiting made me hopeful Rye and I would at least have a small amount of time truly unobserved, even if it didn’t last. I was definitely a little less optimistic about our chances of it remaining quiet all day, even if it was a Sunday in November, because it was still a Sunday, and there couldn’t be a whole lot of options for things to do this time of year. But I would take whatever we got, because wasting the opportunity made no sense.

Once paid, and through into the zoo itself, we mutually and deliberately decided to take a different path to the one we watched the family head down. Taking it at a slow kind of amble, I allowed myself to enjoy the sense that we were alone. The first few times we stopped to watch whatever animal it was we came across, one or the other of us would glance about to make sure no one was watching us, before moving closer to the other, placing a hand on the others or taking hold of it, depending on the set up we were face with. Maybe it seemed stupid or overly simple, but it made the difference between being there as friends and being on an actual date. Or at least that’s how it felt to me, and from the way Rye’s colours were moving I knew I wasn’t alone.

I didn’t even think about taking my sketch pad out until we reached the gorillas. And then only because Rye appeared particularly fascinated with them. I didn’t really have anything stable to rest the pad on, so I could only do a rough sketch at best, but it would be enough of a reminder for later.

‘Hey do you see animals’ colours too?’ Rye turned towards me, as I was putting the last of the details I wanted into the sketch.

‘Mm,’ I nodded, as I re-joined him by the enclosure.

‘So… then why don’t you draw them… ever?’ His colours shifted curiously. ‘I mean, it can’t be that much different to drawing people, right?’

‘I think Morgan would definitely have something tuh say about that,’ I smirked. ‘Seriously that girl’s acting like Mrs A’s asked her tuh draw some kinda deformed monster or something. Then again maybe she thinks people are deformed monsters,’ I laughed.

‘Maybe,’ he shared in my amusement for a moment, ‘she is pretty weird.’

‘Like we’re normal,’ I ruffled his hair.

‘True,’ he knocked my hand away, ‘but you didn’t answer my question. Why don’t you draw animals normally?’

‘Coz I don’t understand what their colours mean,’ I focused my gaze on the smallest gorilla for a moment. ‘People’s colours are rarely still, and the way they move and shift about can tell you a lot about that person. And even when they are still, that stillness is also telling you something. But with animals… I dunno… either the movements are too subtle for me tuh pick up on, or they’re just not really there at all. Take that baby for example,’ I pointed towards the animal I was watching. ‘I can tell you it’s most likely happy, but I couldn’t tell you anything about why it was happy or how happy it was. Whereas with you,’ I turned around so I could see him better, ‘I can tell you’re happy for more than one reason, and can pick out which parts of your happiness are related tuh me. There are also twists telling me you’re nervous, but a good kind of nervous. And I can also see threads of sadness, which I know have tuh be related tuh memories of being here with your mum, but knowing that’s what those threads are about is as much tuh do with knowing you as it is tuh do with what the threads are actually telling me. So, when I create art, it’s with the knowledge of those complex emotions, and that’s what brings it tuh life.’

‘I think I get it,’ his colours frowned for a moment. ‘Do you think it’s that way for everyone with your superpower?’

‘I dunno,’ I shrugged. ‘The only other person I’m certain has the same gift as me is Tay’s brother, and I’m not about tuh ask him about it anytime soon. But I’m pretty sure Aunt Zelda never painted animals either, so at the very least her gift probably worked similar tuh mine.’

‘Well that would make sense, since we’re certain you inherited it from her,’ Rye’s colours shifted thoughtfully. ‘Do you think if she was still alive when you were born you would still be able to see the colours?’

‘I dunno,’ I tilted my head thoughtfully, ‘it’s not something I’ve ever really thought about. I mean, tuh me having this gift is just a part of who I am. I haven’t ever known anything else, and it would be weird not tuh have it. So I’ve never stopped tuh ask where did it come from or why me? Coz what’s the point? It doesn’t change the fact that I can see what I can see.’

‘That’s true,’ he paused for a moment, his eyes studying my rough sketch. ‘Do you think Mrs A will let you get away with something like that?’

‘I think the point of making me and Morgan do these projects is tuh push us out of our comfort zones as much as possible,’ I sighed. ‘So having a person in the painting too, especially one I’d much rather spend all my time looking at, would probably be missing the point as far as Mrs A’s concerned. But when rough sketching for ideas it helps me tuh include as much of what I can see as possible, so I’m just gonna make sure you’re in my sightline all day.’

‘And you wonder why I call you obsessed?’

‘I am obsessed, and pretty much have been since the day we met,’ I smirked. ‘So, get over it Rye, coz your kinda stuck with me now.’

‘You’re such an idiot,’ he laughed, making his colours dance.

‘Yeah, but I’m your idiot.’

Our eyes met in this mixture of amusement and genuine devotion. It made me really want to kiss him. Nervously I glanced about. I couldn’t see anyone. I couldn’t hear anyone approaching either. So long as we…

Before I could even finish my thought, Rye kissed me. It lasted longer than it probably should have, considering how public the location we were in was, and was followed in quick succession by two or three others of about the same length, which felt like we were really pushing our luck. Still, when the final one ended, and we’d remained completely uncaught, it made Rye’s colours gleam more than a little. I don’t think I could have stopped myself from smiling if I tried.

‘So… where next?’ I ruffled his hair.

‘Somewhere for lunch, I think,’ Rye knocked my hand away.

‘And here I thought our Hyena Boy was the one with the stomach clock,’ I cocked an eyebrow at him.

‘He is, I checked the time whilst you were sketching idiot,’ his colours shifted with amusement. ‘And here I thought you were keeping me in your sightline.’

‘Sounds tuh me like you want me tuh watch you a little closer,’ I grinned. ‘Well, if that’s the case, I’m sure I can oblige.’

‘Uh-huh, and I bet it’ll be such a hardship for you too,’ he laughed. ‘Come on idiot, you can watch me whilst we walk.’

It didn’t take us long to find somewhere suitable to eat. Rye then pulled out the lunchboxes he’d stowed into his bag when he’d sent me upstairs to grab mine. It was nice to see Mum had put some thought into what went into them, like it was her way of making sure the day was as close to perfect as it could be. Since, of course, perfect would be being able to act like we were actually there on a date, and not having to check around every five seconds to assure ourselves we weren’t being watched. Still, as we ate we discussed what else we could see with the time we had left. I was pretty much happy to go wherever Rye wanted, although I did add one suggestion of my own. The lions. There was something about the idea of an animal with wild, untameable hair that just amused me.

Moving around the zoo after lunch was when we finally started encountering other visitors. I knew we had to eventually, so I wasn’t going to complain, but it did mean there weren’t as many opportunities to act the way we wanted. On the other hand it did mean I didn’t have any excuses not to do some rough sketching, although I wasn’t totally sure if I should be grateful for the trade off or not. It didn’t matter if I was technically very capable of drawing animals, they just didn’t interest me in the same way people did. And if Mrs Akroyd wasn’t forcing this project on me as part of my final overall grade, I really, really wouldn’t bother with it.

‘That lion looks like you,’ I ruffled Rye’s hair, as we finally reached their enclosure.

‘You’re an idiot,’ he knocked my hand away.

‘Yeah, but I’m your idiot, and I’m seeing a very familiar shade of blue,’ I smirked, before turning my gaze back towards the lion. ‘Actually I think it’s a very good match,’ I frowned for a moment. ‘Hey, Rye, you’re not secretly part lion, are you?’

‘Wow, I think that’s the single most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard you say,’ Rye rolled his eyes.

‘Well I try,’ I grinned, before finding a good spot to do my rough sketch. ‘You know I think I could get onboard with this project, if I could pretend that lion was you,’ I teased, as I began sketching.

‘Okay, why not,’ Rye shrugged, his colours half amused, half serious, ‘I mean, it’s not like people know why you use colour the way you do, so if it’ll help, then do it.’

‘Arian the lion,’ I smirked at the almost rhyme.

‘Pretty sure that’s not what the lion is called idiot,’ he shook his head.

‘No, but it is what my version will be called,’ I glanced up at him for a moment, watching the amusement in his colours.

‘I’m going to regret saying you can do this, aren’t I?’ He made his way over to me.

‘Maybe,’ I made a few more additions to the sketch. ‘What time is it?’

‘Half two,’ Rye checked his watch.

‘We should probably start making our way back tuh the entrance then,’ I studied the rough draft for a moment, to make sure there wasn’t anything else I felt I needed to add. ‘Unless there’s something else you really wanna see first.’

‘Nothing I can think of,’ he shrugged, his colours moving a little thoughtfully. ‘And we can always come back again some other time, right?’

‘Definitely,’ I ruffled his hair. ‘Although next time it’s my turn.’

‘Oh really?’ He knocked my hand away, colours flushing slightly. ‘And what makes you so sure?’

‘Uh, coz we alternate idiot,’ I began walking, and he fell into step beside me. ‘You got tuh take me out this time, so I get tuh take you out next. I just have tuh think of somewhere good tuh go first.’

‘Well, if you can’t think of anywhere, we could always just skip your turn,’ Rye’s colours danced teasingly.

‘I’ll think of somewhere,’ I narrowed my gaze playfully on him. ‘And I’m not gonna bet my turn away either, before you get any ideas.’

‘Boo,’ Rye mimicked the way I would have said it pretty much perfectly, before laughing.

‘You’re such an idiot,’ I smirked.

‘Yeah, but I’m your idiot.’

We joked around a little more as we made our way back towards the entrance, arriving there with a good ten minutes to spare before we had to meet Dad. We spent that extra time just wandering around the gift shop. With my brand new set of keys rattling around in my bag, I couldn’t help but get drawn towards the keyrings the shop had to offer. I knew I didn’t need to have one, since the loop was more than enough to keep them together, but still…

I spent a few moments debating things over in my head. An animal wouldn’t exactly be my first choice, but the shop didn’t sell any art related keyrings. So maybe it would be better if I waited until I found something a little more me. Then two of the animals really caught my attention.

I glanced over to where Rye was eyeing up some of the sweets. His colours were making similar adorable movements to the ones they made when he was contemplating his next move in any given board game. That sealed it. Picking up the two keyrings, I made my way over to the cashier to pay for them, slipping the little paper bag she put them into, into my backpack just as Rye came over with his choice of sweets. A small jar of mint humbugs.

‘They’re mum’s favourites,’ he explained, as we made our way back out into the carpark. ‘I know it’s still a little way off till Christmas, but…’ his colours shifted with uncertain sadness.

I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but didn’t say anything. What could I really say? I knew how much he missed his mum. How much he wanted to be home again by Christmas. But the longer this situation went on, the more I felt like Richard was determined to make sure that didn’t happen. I could all too easily see him stalling things till after the new year, arguing how it was the wrong time to move or whatever other crap he could come up with. Because what better way to make a loving mother and son so completely and utterly miserable, than to keep them apart over the holidays?

The sudden sound of a car horn startled me out of my thoughts. Turning in the direction of the noise, I spotted Dad’s car. Quickly the two of us made our way over and got in. Most of the journey home then consisted of small talk, although I could see from the way his colours were twisting how hard Dad was trying not to quiz us over how the date had gone. At first it almost amused me to think Dad would be that nosy about it. Then I realised he probably wanted to make sure we hadn’t taken any unnecessary risks. Our safety was his number one concern after all.

We arrived home with an hour or so to spare before dinner. Rye and I headed straight up to my room, to drop our bags off, but once there neither of us was in much of a rush to head back down again. A point well and truly proven when Rye flopped down on the bed. I hesitated for a moment, before digging the little paper bag out of my backpack and sitting down on the bed next to him.

‘Choose one,’ I held the bag out to him.

Rye’s colours frowned uncertainly as he took the bag off of me and looked inside. Then he laughed in this way which made joy bounce with adoration through his colours.

‘You are a complete and utter idiot,’ he grinned at me.

‘Yeah, but I’m your complete and utter idiot,’ I leant down and kissed him. ‘So, choose one.’

‘You take the lion, since that clearly reminds you of me now,’ he kissed me back. ‘And I’ll take the gorilla since… you know… you’re an idiot, so clearly it’s the perfect representation of you.’

‘Uh-huh, and it has nothing tuh do with wanting tuh remember anything else?’ I kissed him again.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he feigned innocence, whilst his colours danced teasingly, and our lips met for a fourth time. ‘So maybe you need to remind me.’

Extract from The Colours I See, by Ila Golden