Struggling Right Now? Here’s Why Your Pain Might Be A Hidden Turning Point

Finding Wisdom in the Struggle

“But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.” — Jodi Picoult.

If you’re facing something difficult in your life right now, whether it’s a challenging relationship, rising debt, or a health scare, I invite you to acknowledge it before proceeding. Before labeling this experience as negative, consider this: what if the experience you dread becomes the foundation for your future growth? Throughout my journey of navigating life’s problems, I’ve discovered that many of the experiences I originally perceived as setbacks later became the basis for my deepest transformation. With time and a renewed perspective, I began to see how difficult moments were arranging something far greater than I could have imagined. In this article, we’ll explore how ancient philosophies can help shift your perspective by examining how a setback may be setting you up for something deeper.

This renewed perspective, which showed me that life functions beyond what I could understand, allowed me to see my problems differently. I’ve witnessed how pain can reveal itself in cruel and incomprehensible ways, such as illness, betrayal, and loss, and I still don’t pretend to understand why. But I’ve also seen how meaning emerges over time. I am as curious as you are about why bad things happen, but I’ve discovered it’s futile trying to make sense of it because the meaning I assign to it is subjective to my own experience. Instead, we should examine how these experiences can foster our growth. I believe in a greater intelligence and creative energy field functioning as God. This is not a traditional, religious God depicted by mainstream religions, but an infinite field that encompasses everything in the universe. This view may not resonate with you, and that’s okay. I encourage you to take what serves you and leave the rest.

I mention this because, with the death of my father and my illness two decades ago, I believe this energy field is present in every experience, whether good or bad. When we label an experience as negative, we are taking a snapshot of what is happening at that moment. We have no idea what will follow or whether things will improve. For example, if you receive a speeding ticket, it makes sense to label the experience as negative. But what if there’s a reason for obtaining the speeding ticket that becomes clearer later on? The British philosopher Alan Watts suggested that nature operates as a deeply interconnected and intricate system, making it difficult to judge events as either positive or negative.

This idea is further illustrated in the story of the Chinese farmer: Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, his neighbors came to commiserate with him.

“Such bad luck,” they said. The farmer replied, “Maybe.”

The next day, the horse returned, bringing seven wild horses with it. The neighbors were amazed. “How wonderful!” they said.

The farmer replied, “Maybe.”

Then the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses, fell, and broke his leg.

“That’s terrible,” the neighbors said. Again, the farmer replied, “Maybe.”

A few days later, soldiers came to conscript young men into the army, but passed over the farmer’s son because of his injury.

“What good fortune,” the neighbors said. The farmer, as always, said, “Maybe.”

Like the farmer, you may be unable to appreciate the entirety of your story at this time. What may seem like a loss today may reveal its purpose tomorrow, or even years from now.

When Life Organizes What We Can’t Control

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.” — Hermann Hesse.

Returning to what Alan Watts observed earlier about the interconnectedness of life, I believe this complexity in nature makes it impossible to judge an experience impartially until much later. Even an undesirable event that seems to emerge out of nowhere can hold a significant breakthrough for you. For instance, a friend once shared with me how losing his job was the worst moment of his life. That is, until he started his own business, which he would never have entertained otherwise. The pain ignited something within him to pursue a life that may not have been possible were it not for the unexpected loss of his career. Are you comfortable with these ideas so far? I hope you’re open to the notion that even though life may appear unfair and even chaotic at times, it is rarely random. There can be purpose and meaning contained within those experiences that break our spirit. You don’t have to agree with my point of view, but please try to keep an open mind and consider it. I’m merely inviting you to dip your toe in the possibility that life, the universe, source, God, or whatever you call it, is supporting you beyond the realm of possibility.

Life is a paradox; both complex and simple, making it challenging to live in accordance with this understanding. We create the perception that life is against us when, in fact, life is flowing through us. It requires stepping back from the drama and searching for the lessons and vital growth contained within our experiences. It might be worth asking: What is this challenge trying to teach me? Sometimes, the answer won’t reveal itself right away, but even the act of posing such questions can begin to change us. Ask yourself: “Why am I being presented with this experience?” and “Who do I need to become to bring strength or wisdom to this moment?” Contained within these questions lie the answers to your current problems.

The choice is yours: you can continue to view your experiences through the limited lens of good versus bad, or you can welcome a greater understanding that life functions as an intelligent, self-organizing system. This system works diligently behind the scenes, resolving situations with minimal intervention from us. When we impose our limiting beliefs onto life’s unfolding events, we distort our perception even further. However, when we believe that difficult experiences contain hidden wisdom and growth, we open ourselves to the possibility of transformation.

Your Call to Action: For the next seven days, see if you can commit to the following practice by writing your answers in your journal: each morning, write down one current challenge you’re facing and ask yourself these three questions:

What is this experience trying to teach me?Who am I becoming through this situation?How might this difficulty be serving me in ways I cannot yet see?

At the end of each day, record your insights or any shift in perspective that emerges in your journal. This simple yet powerful practice will help you shift from feeling powerless to being more supported and guided by purpose, rather than circumstance. Only through this shift in perception will you begin to see that life isn’t happening to you; it’s happening for you in ways you can’t imagine.

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