A writing life experiment
What will grow from my experiment? Image by Ilona Ilyés from PixabayI've been experimenting lately with living a non-writing life. Or perhaps I should say an “occasional” writing life because here I am, right?
Anyway, I've been much happier since I started this experiment, oh, about five days ago. After the shock of the election began to wear off.
Before November 5, I tried so hard to write words that mattered. I wrote Facebook posts. I wrote about the importance of not gloating if my candidate won. I wrote an op-ed that appeared in my local newspaper.
Full disclosure—I wanted to influence undecided voters to choose Kamala Harris. It’s pretty egotistic, now that I think about it. That the handful of readers who could potentially (i.e., in a million years) be swayed by my argument would matter in a national election. Jeeze oh man, to use a saying from my Pittsburgh upbringing, what was I thinking?
I also wanted to make the case that voters from political opposites can find common ground. All I found was a choir half-listening to me preach.
And, of course, Kamala lost. My words felt wasted.
Around the same time, several publications rejected my essays I thought they couldn’t live without. I guested on podcasts few people listen to and I have a program in a few days that no one has yet registered for. (See below. You, yes YOU, can be the first to sign up!)
The writing life is not for sissies.
I don’t LOVE writing; it’s important and purposeful, so I’ll continue, but only when I am burning with something to say. Like this morning.
My new occasional writing life, BTW, has been filled with creative projects that bring me joy and have little risk of rejection. Tactile, visual arts have always called to me. Like sewing—I’m having a blast with “low-risk creating”* since I got a new machine last year. And drywall patching in the basement. Do not laugh. There is great skill involved, and the satisfaction is visceral.
But writers write to figure themselves out, you might say, to process the world and all its intricacies.
You are right. At heart, though, I am and have always been a verbal processor. The trouble is, I process only snippets of my rabbit hole of thoughts because I don't want to overwhelm my husband, my sister, my friends, my mom when she was alive. Otherwise—unless I’m in therapy, where I get the whole hour to talk about myself without apologies or regrets—I keep the maelstrom to myself.
Right now, I don't have a therapist, and I don't have the drive to find a new one. So guess what readers? You're it.
I’m going to use this space to write only when I have something to say or something to figure out. You might hear from me a few days in a row. Or every two months. At noon or whenever. It’s a personal growth experiment, so I’m not going to set too many rules.
Let’s see what happens. I hope you’ll follow along.
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*I’ll write about “low-risk creating” someday when I feel the burning desire to do so. Yes, I will include photos!
MEMOIR INFO AND NEWSUpcoming event in Saratoga Springs, NY:
Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived.Medical gaslighting and a mother’s people-pleasing collide, shattering her expectations of motherhood and threatening the survival of her young son.
Click here for purchase linksKaren is a happily married, slightly frazzled working mother of two when her eight-year-old son, Matthew, develops a strange eye-rolling tic. Gradually, her high-energy kid becomes clumsy and lethargic, her “Little Einstein” a gifted program dropout. Karen knows something is wrong. But she can't get anyone to listen and lacks the backbone to crack the resistance. After three exhausting, desperate years, finally, an MRI reveals the truth: a brain tumor, squishing Matthew's brain into a sliver against his skull. Following a delicate surgery, doctors predict a complete recovery. But the damage from the delayed diagnosis prolongs Matthew's recovery, challenging Karen to grow in ways she never imagined.
A fast-paced page-turner told with candor, insight, and wit, Growth takes you on a rollercoaster of painful truths and hard-won transformations.
Available where books are sold or see purchase links here.
Where to listen to GROWTH on audiobook:More retailers will soon offer my book, so if your favorite listening site isn't included, check back in next month's newsletter.
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