The 7 Leadership Lessons I Learned from Being a Girl Dad of 3

“You don’t raise your kids to be like you. You raise them to be who they’re meant to become. And if you’re lucky, they’ll let you walk beside them long enough to learn from them, too.”

I’ve been in leadership roles for over two decades—at work, and at home. But nothing has taught me more about leading with empathy, patience, clarity, and purpose than being a girl dad to three daughters—ages 17, 8, and 4.

There’s something wildly humbling about parenting across a 13-year age span. It’s like leading three different generations simultaneously, each with different needs, communication styles, dreams, and energy levels.

I used to think leadership was about being the loudest voice in the room. Turns out, the real leadership magic? Listening to the quietest one.

And these three girls? They’ve made me a better listener, a better communicator, a better leader… and a better man.

LESSON 1: Your Team Isn’t You—Don’t Try to Make Them You

With my first daughter, I’ll admit: I parented the way I thought I was supposed to.

She should play sports because I played sports. She should be tough, outgoing, do the things that worked for me. I was well-intentioned—but I was steering.

Now, with daughters at 17, 8, and 4, I’ve read books like Raising Girls Who Like Themselves and learned how much better it is to let them be their own person, not a reflection of my past or hopes.

In leadership, it’s no different. We don’t build clones. We build teams. The goal isn’t to mold people in your image. It’s to give them the tools, confidence, and support to become the best version of themselves.

LESSON 2: You Can’t Fix Everything—But You Can Sit With Them in It

When my daughters are struggling, the fixer in me wants to jump in with solutions. Say the magic words. Make it all better.

But I’ve learned—especially with my teen—they don’t need me to fix everything. They need me to be present. To sit with them in the mess. To say: “I hear you. I’m here. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m not going anywhere.”

I apply that same principle at work. Leaders aren’t fixers. They’re safe spaces. A good leader doesn’t always offer a solution—they offer support, trust, and belief that the person will find the solution themselves.

LESSON 3: You Have to See, Hear, and Understand Them… Not Just Manage Them

Every child is different. My 4-year-old needs a snuggle and a snack. My 8-year-old needs time to talk through her feelings. My 17-year-old? She might just need me to listen without judging.

I’ve learned the hard way: what I think they need, and what they actually need, are often very different.

The same goes for leading people.

True leadership is empathetic awareness. It’s slowing down long enough to understand someone’s state of mind—not projecting your own expectations onto them. Don’t assume. Ask. Observe. Reflect.

LESSON 4: Encourage Exploration, Not Performance

Something we’ve prioritized in our home in recent years is branching out. My daughters are trying new things: volleyball, guitar, dance, singing, art.

Not because I told them to.

But because we created a space where it was safe to try. Where curiosity was valued more than performance. Where “just give it a shot” was celebrated even more than “win the game.”

That’s been a breakthrough in my leadership style, too. I used to value execution over experimentation. Now? I reward curiosity. I encourage my team to try, test, learn, and grow.

Growth doesn’t come from perfect. It comes from permission to explore.

LESSON 5: Lead with Grace—For Them and For Yourself

There are days I lose my patience. I say the wrong thing. I miss the cue that one of my girls just needed me to listen, not lecture.

But I’ve also learned: you can’t lead well if you don’t offer grace—first to yourself, then to others.

When my kids mess up, I remind them they’re not their mistakes. When I mess up, I try to show them what accountability, humility, and resilience look like.

In the professional world, grace is often underrated. But it’s the glue that builds loyalty and trust. When people know you’ll give them the benefit of the doubt—and that you’re human too—they’ll move mountains for you.

LESSON 6: Presence Over Perfection

My 4-year-old doesn’t care if I crushed my sales number. She just wants me to play Candyland and listen to her story about the unicorn with sunglasses.

Leadership is the same. The people we lead don’t always need a brilliant strategist. Sometimes, they just need someone who shows up, fully present, with their whole heart in the game.

The how of your presence will long outlive the what of your performance.

LESSON 7: Repetition Is the Real Coaching

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned as a dad is this:

They don’t always listen to what I say once. But they do absorb what I model consistently.

Leadership is modeling, over and over. It’s not just the big team meetings or inspirational talks. It’s the day-in, day-out choices. It’s how you talk about people behind their back. How you respond to pressure. How you lead when nobody’s watching.

They’re Not Just Watching—They’re Becoming

Being a dad—especially a girl dad—is an immense honor. It humbles me, challenges me, heals me, and sharpens me.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see parallels every single day between parenting and leadership.

Both require patience.

Both require intention.

Both require an ever-evolving understanding of what someone else needs to thrive.

The more I learn to lead my daughters with love, freedom, trust, and empathy… The more I learn how to lead my teams, my partners, and even myself.

And if I’m doing it right? Maybe one day they’ll grow up knowing how to lead with love too.

What’s one lesson you’ve learned about leadership from parenting—or vice versa?

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