PRIDE AND JOY
If you’re wondering why we need Pride Month, let me take you back to the time before
we had it. Not centuries ago. Not even half a century.
When I was a teenager, growing up in rural Western Pennsylvania, we didn’t have out and proud. We didn’t even have out.
That doesn’t mean we didn’t have LGBTQ+ people, or even a few safe spaces for people to be their true selves. But in the larger community, there was little or no visibility, and nearly no acceptance.
We’re not talking beatings in the street here, though it did sometimes happen, but social death. In small towns, anyone who doesn’t fit in is ostracized. Very politely, because this was Western PA, but absolutely frozen out.
People were abjectly, and rightly, terrified of being outed. I’ll never forget the look on a theatre friend’s face when I ran into him at the Fourth of July parade with his (female) fiancée. We’d been in a few shows together the summer before, and he’d been comfortably out in the small community college group. A year later, though, he was clearly trying to comply with the expectations of the time and the area, and running into me reminded him of everything he had to hide. We mumbled polite greetings and got out of the conversation as quickly as possible.
I never saw him again. I don’t know what happened to him. Don’t know if he ever got to live his truth. I hope for his – and her – sakes he did.
That’s just a tiny little sketch of the way the world was then.
It wasn’t okay to be LGBTQ+, and the community at large made sure people knew it, from the casual use of the word “gay” as a pejorative to the guy who calmly observed at a church meeting that he’d rather have a dead son than a gay one.
Made me sad then. Now, as the mother of a boy I will love fiercely no matter who or how he is, it makes me sick.
It’s taken decades of battles large and small to change those attitudes.
And unfortunately, the attitudes are still out there, with people trying to coat their bigotry in new spin – or, even more depressingly, making the same tired arguments we thought were debunked two decades ago. The battle is far from over.
Still, it’s important to celebrate the victories – and celebrate Pride.
And so, I’m going to close with one more Throwback Thursday memory: June 2015, a New York City Pride Parade just days after the Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage was the law of the land. My office is near the parade route, and my shift ended just before the parade began, so I got to absorb the scene.
The streets of Greenwich Village were full of joyful people and rainbow flags. Floats celebrating LGBTQ+ families. Samba drag queens in green glitter dancing with NYPD officers. All kinds of couples walking down the street hand-in-hand, undramatically happy. Same-sex parents pushing strollers decorated with rainbow flags. And everywhere, in every font and color you can imagine, one simple phrase: “LOVE IS LOVE.”
Maybe if we all work hard enough we can get there again.
Got a #ThrowbackThursday idea? Drop it in the comments!
we had it. Not centuries ago. Not even half a century.
When I was a teenager, growing up in rural Western Pennsylvania, we didn’t have out and proud. We didn’t even have out.
That doesn’t mean we didn’t have LGBTQ+ people, or even a few safe spaces for people to be their true selves. But in the larger community, there was little or no visibility, and nearly no acceptance.
We’re not talking beatings in the street here, though it did sometimes happen, but social death. In small towns, anyone who doesn’t fit in is ostracized. Very politely, because this was Western PA, but absolutely frozen out.
People were abjectly, and rightly, terrified of being outed. I’ll never forget the look on a theatre friend’s face when I ran into him at the Fourth of July parade with his (female) fiancée. We’d been in a few shows together the summer before, and he’d been comfortably out in the small community college group. A year later, though, he was clearly trying to comply with the expectations of the time and the area, and running into me reminded him of everything he had to hide. We mumbled polite greetings and got out of the conversation as quickly as possible.
I never saw him again. I don’t know what happened to him. Don’t know if he ever got to live his truth. I hope for his – and her – sakes he did.
That’s just a tiny little sketch of the way the world was then.
It wasn’t okay to be LGBTQ+, and the community at large made sure people knew it, from the casual use of the word “gay” as a pejorative to the guy who calmly observed at a church meeting that he’d rather have a dead son than a gay one.
Made me sad then. Now, as the mother of a boy I will love fiercely no matter who or how he is, it makes me sick.
It’s taken decades of battles large and small to change those attitudes.
And unfortunately, the attitudes are still out there, with people trying to coat their bigotry in new spin – or, even more depressingly, making the same tired arguments we thought were debunked two decades ago. The battle is far from over.
Still, it’s important to celebrate the victories – and celebrate Pride.
And so, I’m going to close with one more Throwback Thursday memory: June 2015, a New York City Pride Parade just days after the Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage was the law of the land. My office is near the parade route, and my shift ended just before the parade began, so I got to absorb the scene.
The streets of Greenwich Village were full of joyful people and rainbow flags. Floats celebrating LGBTQ+ families. Samba drag queens in green glitter dancing with NYPD officers. All kinds of couples walking down the street hand-in-hand, undramatically happy. Same-sex parents pushing strollers decorated with rainbow flags. And everywhere, in every font and color you can imagine, one simple phrase: “LOVE IS LOVE.”
Maybe if we all work hard enough we can get there again.
Got a #ThrowbackThursday idea? Drop it in the comments!
No comments have been added yet.
