💭Character Development Is Just Therapy You Don’t Have to Pay For

 

Let’s be real—writing characters isn’t just about giving someone a name and a backstory so you can finish a chapter. It’s a slow burn. A process that, if done honestly, starts peeling back layers you didn’t even know you had in you.

At first, I used to think character development was something you had to figure out. I was looking at it like a checklist:

What's their favorite color?

What’s their childhood trauma?

What motivates them?

What's their greatest fear?

That’s all well and good. Those questions help. But they’re just surface-level. The truth is, character development—the real kind, the kind that lingers in readers' minds long after the book is done—isn’t about crafting someone believable. It’s about creating someone uncomfortably human.

And that starts with you. 🫵

You’re Not Just Writing Characters—You’re Writing Yourself (Whether You Mean To or Not) 🪞

Every character I’ve ever written has had a piece of me in them. Sometimes it’s loud and obvious. Sometimes it’s buried so deep I don’t realize it until months after the book is published and I’m re-reading a scene thinking, “Wow, I’ve lived that.”

Whether it’s the shame you’ve buried, the pain you’ve ignored, or the dreams you told yourself weren’t worth chasing—your characters will find it. They’ll whisper it back to you through their arcs, their breakdowns, and their endings. That’s why writing certain scenes can feel exhausting. You’re not just moving the plot forward. You’re confronting something real.

Sometimes it’s a fear.
Sometimes it’s grief.
Sometimes it’s guilt or anger or hope you didn’t know you still had.

And that’s what makes your story powerful.

When You Dig Deep, Readers Feel It 🫀📖

You can give a character a rough childhood, a broken marriage, or a career that’s falling apart—but if you don’t feel it while you’re writing, your reader probably won’t either.

Have you ever written a character and had to stop because the words felt too raw?

That’s the good stuff. That’s where the heart of your book is.

I remember writing a scene where one of my characters was finally telling the truth out loud—truth they’d buried for decades. And as I wrote it, my fingers slowed. I got stuck. Because what they were saying? I wasn’t ready to admit it myself.

But I wrote it anyway. And when I went back to read it, I didn’t edit a word. That’s when I realized: my character had healed something in me I didn’t know was broken.

The Best Characters Aren’t "Good" or "Bad"—They’re Honest

When you’re developing a character, don’t focus so hard on making them likable. That’s not your job. Make them understandable.

Let them be selfish. Let them mess up. Let them say the wrong thing, hurt someone they love, or choose the easy way out. Then—if it fits—let them grow. Let them fight their way back to themselves. Or let them fall apart. Not everyone makes it.

Whatever you choose, let it be honest.

That’s where character development becomes therapeutic. Not just for you—but for your readers too. People don’t connect to perfection. They connect to flaws, to regret, to quiet victories that don’t look like much on the outside but mean everything on the inside.

They connect to moments that say, “You’re not the only one.”

Write Like Nobody’s Reading—Then Edit Like the Whole World Is Watching 👁️🖋️

In the first draft, forget structure. Forget arcs. Forget all the “rules.”

Write the mess.

Let your characters say things you’re scared to admit. Let them cry when they’re supposed to be strong. Let them fall in love when they promised themselves they wouldn’t. Let them scream. Let them be silent. Let them go numb.

Just let them be real.

Then, when you’ve gotten it all out, go back with a pen like a scalpel. Shape their truth into something others can follow. Let the emotion stay, but give it clarity. That’s when you go from pouring your heart out to crafting something that might help someone else find theirs.

This Isn’t a How-To—It’s a Reminder ❤️

You don’t have to know everything about your character on day one. You don’t have to write their arc before you understand your own. All you have to do is care. Care enough to go beneath the surface. Care enough to tell the truth. Care enough to let them bleed on the page.

And care enough to hold that space for them until their story is told.

Sometimes you’ll heal through your characters.
Sometimes you’ll hurt.
Sometimes you’ll laugh, and sometimes you’ll feel exposed in a way you weren’t ready for.

But that’s the point.

So, To the New Writer Who’s Struggling With Their Character Arc… 🫂📓

Stop thinking about plot twists and Pinterest boards.
Put down the templates for a moment.
And just…listen.

What is your character really trying to say?

What’s the truth they’re scared of?

What would happen if you let them say it?

Character development isn’t just storytelling.
It’s emotional storytelling.
And it’ll change you if you let it.

That’s the kind of book people don’t forget. That’s the kind of character people carry with them long after they close the cover.

So go ahead.

Write them like it’s therapy.
Cry at your desk if you have to.
Delete it all and write it again.
Laugh when they finally find peace.
And keep going.

Because every truth you give your character has the power to speak to someone else. And maybe, just maybe, that someone else is you. 💛