Keep It Hot, Not Hilarious: Writing Realistic Steamy and Action Scenes

You all, one of my favorite books has a scene that makes me laugh every time, but it’s not supposed to be funny. It features lettering in a tattoo that is so tiny, even the best tattoo artist on the planet wouldn’t do it. Honestly, I’m not sure that size of lettering is even possible. But if it were done? The tattoo would bleed and turn into nothing but a blob of color sooner than later, regardless of the cream used to keep it fresh. (It’s chemistry and physiology, folks.) Do I still love the book? So much!

So, please hear this: this post is not about criticizing anyone’s writing or the amazingness of their books. It’s a friendly little writer-to-writer PSA. A reminder that while fiction lets us bend a lot of rules, physiology generally isn't one of them—unless you're writing paranormal, and then all bets are off.

Honestly though? There are lots of authors and readers of non paranormal romance who are willing to suspend disbelief over physiology, biology and so much more. From the FMC who is miraculously no longer in pain the next day after extremely rough treatment before and during🦆ing, to the MMC who has an energizer bunny for a peen (which I’m totally guilty of writing), they don’t want to be bothered by anatomy or improbability.

If that’s you, please ignore this blog article because my view on storytelling is just that: mine. This is for authors and readers, like me, who get tossed out of a story by takes on physiology and anatomy that seem impossible, not to mention potentially damaging to the character.

1. A Shot to the Leg Is Not a "Minor Wound"

The leg isn’t just a meaty limb for dramatic collapse scenes. It’s home to some serious arteries (looking at you, femoral), which means a bullet there can be fatal fast. If your character has any tactical training, they know this. Aim for disabling, sure—but not with a “just a leg shot” like it’s no big deal.

Unless you're writing a tragic bleed-out scene. In that case…carry on.

2. The Nose Won’t Save You If the Throat Is Blocked

If the epiglottis is closed (whether by violence or swallowing a certain something down the throat), nothing is getting to the lungs. That’s right, not even a desperate breath through the nose. If the trachea is blocked, it’s game over—no “gasping through her nose as he—” Nope. No air. None. This can up the stakes both in an action scene and well…that kind of action scene. But having your character breathe through their nose while there’s something lodged in their throat is going to make it seem like you write from whence you do not know.

3. Let’s Talk About Abdominal Walls (and That 🍆)

I promise you, no matter how well-endowed your hero is, unless she has some internal damage, your heroine cannot put her hand on her tummy and feel the bulge. Between the vaginal canal and the outer abdominal wall are muscles, organs, and reality. If she does feel something internally from the outside? That's not sexy—that's a medical emergency.

(Yes, I am aware of the p0rn star who manages this very feat with a fake 🍆 but all I have to say is: think prolapsed bladder and uterus, not to mention either a past laparoscopic surgery that separated her abdominal muscles, or forcing them to stretch and thin to the point this is possible. None of which I assume any of us want our FMCs experiencing. But hey, if I’m wrong and that’s your jam, don’t let me stop you.)

4. Bruises Are Basically Mood Rings for the Healing Process

Nope, bruises don’t show up purple in five seconds. Here’s a rough timeline for bruise drama with common overlaps:

Red – first 12 to 24 hours

Blue/Purple – 12 hours up to 2 days later

Green/Purple – between 4 to 10 day marks

Yellow/Green – between 7 to 14 day marks

Brown/Yellow – 10 to 21 day marks

Use this info to add a dose of realism—or to nail that timeline when your heroine is still hiding a hickey days later. There are always exceptions, but if you’re going to rely on them, do the research to figure out why they happen and make sure your character’s circumstances fit.

5. Wounds = Pain + Time

Knife wounds? Not tidy. Not quick. Not easily ignored unless your character is fueled by adrenaline, drugs, or over the top badassery. Even then, pain exists. Deep cuts require medical attention. Shallow ones hurt more than you'd think. Unless we’re suspending disbelief to the level of moving from contemporary/historical romance to PNR/fantasy, our characters don’t walk away from a stabbing with a sexy grimace and no chance of infection.

6. A Clean Break ≠ Instant Recovery

There’s a myth floating around that because a clean break can heal faster than a sprain, it’s less serious. Um… nope.

That heroic character running into battle with a freshly broken rib or walking on a fractured leg? Could they do it? Maybe. Should they? Only if you want their next book to be about physical therapy and regret.

Even the simplest fracture takes weeks to heal properly. There’s pain, swelling, and a very real risk of worsening the injury if weight or any kind of pressure is put on it too soon. Don’t even get me started on broken ribs. If your character is throwing punches two days after cracking one, or getting down with their partner only hours later? They’ve definitely got a full set of internal bruising, shallow breathing, and a prescription for denial to go with it.

7. Big Height Differences = Positioning Puzzles

Is there a 6+ inch height gap between your couple? Then even kissing requires angling, tilting, and probably a step stool or two. (Kidding. Kind of.) As for the bedroom gymnastics? Some positions are simply not happening without flexibility, creativity, and maybe a yoga background. It’s not unsexy; it’s a challenge! And that makes it even more fun to write.

In Conclusion...

Yes, we write fiction. Yes, we can make the world feel a little bigger, a little more magical. But unless we’re dealing with shifters, fae, or magic peens of legend, the human body has limits. Respecting those limits makes the story richer, more immersive—and honestly? Way hotter and more engaging. Because real stakes matter and pulling readers into an immersive experience works a lot better when they aren’t bursting out in laughter over fake physiology.

Hugs and happy writing!
💖 Lucy

USA Today bestselling and award-winning author Lucy Monroe has over 90 published novels and more than 12.5 million copies in print worldwide. Her stories—rich with emotion, heat, and high stakes—span contemporary, historical, and paranormal romance.

Now publishing independently, Lucy writes the bold, deeply romantic stories she’s most passionate about. Her latest series, Syndicate Rules, explores the dark and decadent world of mafia romance with morally gray heroes, fierce heroines, and all the spice fans crave.

A voracious reader and longtime romance fangirl, Lucy loves connecting with fellow book lovers online.

For info on all of Lucy’s books, visit her website.

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