The Summer of No

A lot of my writer friends and reader friends know I have Lupus. I’m pretty open about it and the fact that I have three autoimmune disorders. I try hard not to let my disorders rule my life. If I’m completely honest, I try my best to defy them. It’s the rebellious nature in me when told no regarding my health. I don’t like being limited or having to curtail the things I’d love to do at times because my health dictates otherwise. 

This is one of those times. Earlier this Spring, I took a three-week book tour across three states. I had the best time with my writer friend Becky Wade as we toured together, seeing the wonderful Lynn Gentry and making new writing friends Natalie Walters and Jaime Ogle. If you haven’t read these authors, you’re missing out. 

I loved meeting readers in person, especially ones I’ve known online for years. It was wonderful to be able to sit down and chat books, writing and life with them. 

However, and I think you saw this coming, given the title of the post, upon my return home, my Lupus flared and wouldn’t calm down. I saw multiple doctors, had tests, and a lot of lab work, and it still wouldn’t calm down after an intense steroid shot and a double course of oral steroids. It concerned my doctors so much, I heard the word I dread hearing regarding my health—no. 

But this wasn’t any small no—at least not to me. This was a BIG no. No traveling for work for three months, which resulted in me having to do something I hate doing—saying no. I had to pull out of trips I’d committed to. Had to “clear the deck,” as it were, for the bulk of the summer. 

My health is still not where it needs to be, but I trust my doctors and know they’ll get me back on the path of wellness in spite of Lupus. But I have been blessed by their ‘no’ at the same time. Not traveling has freed up more time for writing and, more importantly, more time with family. Kids grow up in the blink of an eye, so having more time with my grandkids, even if it’s just hanging in the pool with them, has blessed me beyond measure. 

Do I like being told no? Absolutely not, especially when I feel limited by my health, but I’m slowly healing up and am now looking forward to the slow days of summer I used to love. 

Do I feel awful for letting readers down? Yes. Absolutely! And, event organizers? Absolutely! But everyone has been so kind and gracious, wishing me well and praying for my health. I’ve been so touched by their grace. What about you? Have you ever had to say no to a good thing? 

Best, 

Dani