Right now, MAGA be like…
The One Big Beautiful Billionaire BreakupI think we all knew Trump & Elon were going to break up at some point. And even though it was the most obvious conclusion in the universe—predicting two world class narcissists could not collaborate—you still feel a bit like you have psychic powers when the inevitable happens.
That said, I was expecting something way more bombastic. I did not expect Elon to get sad, take his ball and go home, and then call everyone a bunch of stupid heads from the safety of Twitter.
Pundits and news people keep trying to work out why Elon is so bummed about this and why he is speaking out about the One Big Beautiful Bill.
I keep saying this but…
His primary motivation is always Mars.
It’s always going to be Mars.
If you’re trying to decode his behavior, the options are:
MarsMarsGiving people spermThe woke mind virusMarsElon genuinely thought he was a genius who could infiltrate the government, cut 2 trillion dollars, and people would be so thankful for him rooting out all this fraud, they would bankroll his Mars shit.
Now this Big Beautiful Bill monstrosity is not going to cut trillions but rather ADD trillions. And Elon is all, “HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HELP PAY FOR MARS???”
He always says we’ll be on Mars in ten years—no matter how many years have passed since he last said that. He claims Starship will get us there. But the real problem isn’t the rocket. It’s the trillion-dollar price tag. Elon knows that being the richest person on the planet cannot fund a project like this. Only a government has the resources.
And I’m pretty sure his big brain plan was…
Buy a president.
Get a seat at the table.
Cut $2 trillion.
Funnel it all into colonizing a dead planet.So, if it doesn’t involve impregnating someone or being annoyed that he can’t say the r-slur… It’s always Mars.
He genuinely thinks going to Mars will save human civilization and that will be his eternal legacy.
He dreams of one day stepping out onto the surface of the red planet, looking up at the Martian sunrise, and with a tear in his eye, he will say…
“I am renaming Mars to X.”
Looks like I only needed to wait half a day for the bombasticness to ensue.
We’ve already reached the meme stage of the breakup.
You know things are serious business when Elon starts reposting memes.
And then he went for the jugular.
I have no idea if this new chaos is a good thing or a bad thing.
Currently my brain is mostly this…
Right now, MAGA be like…
