Don’t Let the Small Things Win
Have you ever found yourself deeply frustrated… over something deeply insignificant?
A missed text. A wet towel on the bed. Someone cutting you off in traffic. The dishwasher left open. A passive-aggressive comment. Your favorite almond milk is out of stock—again.
We brush these things off as no big deal. I’m just annoyed. I’ll get over it. But then something else happens. And then something else. And before long, you’re no longer getting over it—you’re living in it. Without even realizing it, you’re walking through your life wearing a filter of frustration. And here’s the real danger: it starts to feel normal.
I call this spiritual sediment—the buildup of small, unresolved irritations that settle into the foundation of our consciousness. One grain of sand doesn’t weigh much. But a thousand? You’re carrying a desert inside your chest.
These micro-upsets may not seem worthy of spiritual intervention. But together, they dull your joy, block your creativity, and close your heart.
Eventually, you wake up and realize…
You’re more upset than you are grateful.
You’re more reactive than you are present.
You’re more focused on what’s wrong than what’s possible.
Several years ago, I had a moment I’ll never forget—because it was so ridiculous. I had just finished a beautiful day, nothing special occurred, but still, I felt completely aligned with my purpose. I was light, open, joyful. I walked into the kitchen to make a smoothie, and the blender didn’t work. I fussed with it for far too long, googling what could be wrong and how to fix it. This is a nice blender, why isn’t it working?? As I stood there stewing over a blender (a blender!), I had the clarity to laugh at myself. Monica, you are seriously about to ruin your day over a blender?
It sounds silly. But how often do we do this?
We let one careless moment steal an entire morning.
We let traffic rob us of peace.
We let other people’s unconsciousness activate our reactivity.
And the cost isn’t just a bad mood. Every moment, you are either reinforcing your small self—or your expanded self. When we fixate on the minor injustices of the day, we teach our brain to scan for more of them. This is backed by science. When we’re frustrated, annoyed, or angry, our brain switches over to the fight-or-flight response—this means the rational part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex, has taken a backseat. We start to expect irritation. And soon, even joy feels suspicious. Like, don’t get too happy, the other shoe’s going to drop. But when we zoom out—when we decide to live for something bigger—we shift. Instead of feeding our upset by asking: “Why is this happening to me?” We ask: “What kind of person do I want to be in the face of this?”
That question changes everything, whether it’s a small irritation or a major moment of conflict.
Letting go isn’t passive. It’s not stuffing it down or pretending it doesn’t matter. Letting go is an active choice to release your grip on the small so you can hold space for the big. It means: Choosing gratitude over grievance. But I don’t mean pretending you’re grateful when you’re not. I mean taking an action that can bring you back to a sense of gratitude, even if it takes a moment for the irritation to dissipate.
Maybe your kids left wet towels on the bathroom floor again. You feel that familiar feeling of “How many times do I have to say it?” rise up, and instead, you stop. Literally stop your body. Stand still and take three slow breaths. Now ask, “Who do I want to be in the face of these towels?” The question might even bring a smile to your face. The towels are still annoying, but now you’re smiling, and maybe you’ve shifted your perspective over to how much you love your kids.
Your energy is precious. Stop spending it on stories that shrink you. Whenever I feel myself slipping into the trap of irritation, I pause and ask myself what I’m grateful for that I’m not paying attention to. The list is always long. My children. My health. A recent insight. A deep conversation. The fact that I even get to have a blender, a kitchen, and healthy food to begin with. Gratitude is the reset button. It doesn’t make the small things disappear—it just reminds you that they are surface and fleeting.
If today feels frustrating, if you’re carrying a thousand tiny irritations like grains of sand, pause. Don’t let the small things win. You are a vast, expansive, infinitely creative soul. Your purpose is not to fixate on dirty dishes and delayed texts. Your purpose is to grow, to transform, to illuminate. Let the blender be broken. And let you be you: awake, aware, and aligned with the glorious bigger picture.
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