AI Writing Improvement Shootout
The remarkable and sometimes dreadful accomplishments of Artificial Intelligence are dominating the news, and a significant part of these advancements certainly affects writing. Today, from my humble desktop, I can ask an AI chat box to write a story about elephants, critique a paragraph, answer a question, flush out a concept, or even complete an English writing homework assignment. And the result? Very impressive.
Let’s break that down. The text output is typically free from grammatical and spelling mistakes. It reads smoothly, makes sense, and the content is usually correct.
I wanted to focus on a single AI chat box ability, improving a document. As a writer, I have not taken advantage of this feature for two reasons. The first is that I have a writing limitation; I require a lot of time. Meaning I need more time than the average person to settle on the best words, arrange them in a way that makes sense to me, and then self-edit my work. What I am doing is getting comfortable with what I have created. Only when I am fully confident do I allow my words to be made public.
Having a chat box completely rearrange everything, use unfamiliar words (not my typical vocabulary), and add or subtract topics goes against my method. I do not want to waste people’s time with words that do not meet my standard.
My second reason is that AI chat box words contain a huge fingerprint, and readers are catching on. We prefer human-written words and are getting upset with AI-generated nonsense.
Still, I thought it would be fun to provide the five most popular chatbots —ChatGPT, DeepSeek, Claude, Meta AI, Google Gemini, and Microsoft Copilot —with a paragraph that needs help. Then, evaluate the results.
Let’s examine one of my first drafts and pick out a dreadful section. Now, hold on. What about my rant about not wanting the public ever to see something I have claimed to have written, but which was generated by AI? Very true. Therefore, I will look elsewhere.
But where? That is easy—fan fiction. Yes, dedicated fans worldwide spend years developing new plots for their favorite franchise characters. Comic books, movies, books, plays, anime, cartoons, video games, board games, and television shows all have sites where fans post their homebrew stories.
Since novice writers often create fan fiction, their words are typically not edited, and the document is likely to be read by a small number of fans. Thus, people who enjoy fan fiction understand that the quality is not the best. Additionally, due to copyright, trademark, and legal concerns, these documents have been released into the public domain. This wealth of less-than-ideal documents makes fan fiction sites the perfect repository for my experiment.
So, I went to
https://trekkiefanfiction.com
selected two paragraphs, and here is the first:
“Sure thing, Captain,” came her reply. “Won’t be a minute!” It wouldn’t be long before the other six members of the motley crew would be down to join him, and Nick took the solitary moments to consider the strange roads that life had led him down to the moment where he stood, sharing the wonder of the infinite cosmos with his closest friends– his family. They were finally free. Free to be their own. It hadn’t always been like that.
https://trekkiefanfiction.com/stories...
My evaluation is that this does not read well. It seems that the author is trying to make something more exciting than it is, resulting in redundant sentences. In the broader context, the voice is weak, the dialogue is campy, and the narrative lacks focus. This paragraph needs a substantial rewrite.
Well, let’s get a professional to evaluate this paragraph. ProWritingAid gave it:
Grammar score 52% (should be 100%)
Style score 100% (should be 100%)
Glue words (unnecessary words) 52% (Should be less than 40%)
The site:
https://datayze.com/readability-analyzer
gave it the following:
Flesch Reading Ease 87.68 (Lower is better, indicates grade school)
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 5.7 (A fog score of 5 is readable, 10 is hard, 15 is difficult.)
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 3.02 (Requires a third-grade education to read.)
Dale-Chall Score 5.81 (A score of 4.9 or lower indicates the passage is easily readable by the average fourth grade.)
I asked ChatGPT to “Improve the following paragraph for readability.”
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The other six members of the motley crew would be joining him soon, but for now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of solitude. He let his thoughts drift, reflecting on the strange and winding paths that had brought him here—to this point in space, surrounded by the vastness of the cosmos, sharing it all with his closest friends. His family.
They were finally free. Free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: This reads better but not great. The writer is still trying too hard. Why are there two small paragraphs? Dramatic effect? I guess. The chatbot added some good details. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 55%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 46%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 92.09
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 4.92
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 1.81
Dale-Chall Score 5.85
For kicks, I asked ChatGPT, “more aggressive update” and got this:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she shouted back. “Give me a sec!”
The rest of the crew—six misfits bound by grit and luck—would be down soon. Until then, Nick stood alone, staring out into the endless stretch of stars. For a fleeting moment, he let himself feel it—the weight of everything they’d survived, the chaos they’d clawed through to get here.
This wasn’t luck. It was earned.
Now, they were free. Truly free. No chains. No orders. No one left to answer to but themselves.
It hadn’t always been that way. But damn, it was now.
My evaluation: I like the added details, and the result reads slightly better; however, there is a clear problem. It reads like AI-generated text and has lost the writer’s voice. And three short paragraphs? Strange…
I have never used Deepseek due to privacy concerns, but since it is ranked #2, I created an account using an email address I check once a year. Here is the result:
“You got it, Captain!” she called back. “Be right there!”
The rest of the crew—all six of them—would join him soon, but for now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of peace. His thoughts drifted, retracing the strange and winding paths that had led him here—to this quiet corner of the cosmos, surrounded by infinite stars, yet never truly alone. Not with them. His friends. His family.
They were free at last. Free to live as they chose.
But it hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: Not much of an improvement, and it added an exclamation point! Boo! Again, the two added short paragraphs. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 100%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 47%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 97.52
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 4.12
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 0.82
Dale-Chall Score 5.29
Since I was there… “more aggressive update”
“Yeah, yeah, Captain—keep your boots on!” she barked back. “I’m moving!”
The rest of the crew would be on his ass soon enough, but for now, Nick stood alone—just him, the void, and the ghosts of every bad call that had dragged them here. No regrets. No turning back. Just the endless black and the six lunatics he called family.
Free. Finally, goddamn free. No chains. No rules. Just whatever the hell they carved out for themselves.
But freedom? Yeah, that shit came with a price. And they’d paid in blood.
My evaluation: This reads a lot better. The redundancy is gone, and some nice added details have been included; it no longer reads like AI-generated text. Yet, there are swear words, which can be a big turn-off. What if this was a church newsletter? The two added paragraphs are longer, which I guess makes them a little more appropriate. The large invented details might clash with other text.
I was unaware of Claude.ai, so I created an account. Here is the result:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The other six members of the motley crew would be joining him soon, but for now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of solitude. He let his thoughts drift, reflecting on the strange and winding paths that had brought him here—to this point in space, surrounded by the vastness of the cosmos, sharing it all with his closest friends. His family.
They were finally free. Free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: There is not much improvement. Again, with the small added paragraphs. I will have to give this some thought. Perhaps short paragraphs are now the rage. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 55%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 47%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 99.87
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 2.35
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 0.53
Dale-Chall Score 5.99
Here is the “more aggressive update” result:
“Sure thing, Captain!” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
Nick stood alone, savoring the solitude. Soon the other six would join him, but for now he had this—silence among the stars.
He let his thoughts drift. Strange how life had twisted and turned to bring him here. Floating in the vastness with his closest friends.
His family.
They were free now. Free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: Better, but it reads choppy. It does not read AI-generated, but now there are six paragraphs wich is overkill. Here is what Gemini AI did:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The other six members of the motley crew would join him soon. For now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of solitude. His thoughts drifted, reflecting on the strange, winding paths that had brought him to this point: surrounded by the vastness of space, yet sharing it all with his closest friends. His family.
They were finally free—free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: There is very little change, except for breaking it into four paragraphs. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 100%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 43%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 90.04
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 5.45
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 2.27
Dale-Chall Score 5.87
Some clear improvement in readability. Here is the “more aggressive update” result:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The rest of the crew—all six—would shatter this quiet soon enough. For now, Nick stood utterly alone, claiming a precious sliver of silence in the void. His mind plunged, unbidden, down the twisting, improbable spiral of choices and chances that had hurled him here: an infinitesimal speck adrift in the star-dusted abyss, yet anchored to meaning by his friends. His family.
They were free. Finally, fiercely free. Free to forge their own destiny.
Such liberty was a raw, intoxicating thing, almost too new to trust.
My evaluation: This is very similar to the ChatGPT text. It reads better, but it is clear that the AI generated it. Here is what Microsoft Copilot generated:
“Sure thing, Captain!” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
For now, Nick stood alone, relishing a rare moment of solitude. Soon, the other six members of their motley crew would join him, but in this brief interlude, he let his thoughts wander. He reflected on the long, twisting journey that had led him here—to this place among the stars, surrounded by the endless expanse of the cosmos, sharing it all with the people who mattered most. His closest friends. His family.
They were free at last. Free to live life on their own terms.
My evaluation: This reads more tightly and has a better flow. It combined the last two sentences into one paragraph, which I like, but added an exclamation point, which I do not. The three paragraphs seem to be a trend. Of all the updates, this was my favorite. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 100%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 46%
Slow pacing 33%
Flesch Reading Ease 88.83
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 5.32
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 2.36
Dale-Chall Score 6.57
Some improvement on readability. Here is the “more aggressive update” result:
“Sure thing, Captain!” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
Nick stood alone, relishing the rare quiet. Soon, the rest of the crew would join him, but for now, it was just him—adrift in the vastness of space, the stars stretching endlessly around him.
They had fought for this. Earned it.
Freedom.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: This tightened things up, but I have never been a fan of one-word sentences or tiny paragraphs.
Here is the next paragraph. This time, I will skip the analysis.
“No, of course not. She told me about this place some time ago...before you and I... you know...and I thought it would be, well, fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000 era. You have to admit, driving the car is exhilarating and these bed and breakfast places have been wonderful. I must tell you though; I didn’t know exactly how it would be. I suppose I took a chance...do you want to go someplace else?”
https://trekkiefanfiction.com/stories...
ChatGPT:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago—before you and I... well, you know—and I thought it might be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit, driving the car is exhilarating, and these bed-and-breakfast places have been amazing. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. I guess I took a chance. So... do you want to go somewhere else?”
ChatGPT more aggressive update:
“No, of course not. She mentioned this place a while back—before things started between us—and I figured, why not? A few weeks in the early 2000s sounded like a blast. Come on, driving that car is a rush, and these bed-and-breakfasts have been incredible. I won’t lie—I didn’t know exactly what I was walking into, but I went for it. So, what do you say? Ready to move on, or are you still in?”
Deepseek:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago... before you and I... well, before everything. I thought it’d be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit—driving that car is exhilarating, and these bed-and-breakfasts have been wonderful.
But I’ll be honest—I wasn’t sure how it’d turn out. I took a chance. If you’re not happy here... we can go somewhere else?”
Deepseek more aggressive update:
“Hell no. She told me about this dump before we got tangled up. Figured it’d be fun to time-jump to the f-ing 2000s - at least the car’s got some balls to it, and the beds are decent.
Look, I didn’t promise you paradise. I took a shot. If you’ve got a problem with it, spit it out. Otherwise quit whining and enjoy the ride, or we can bail right now.”
Note: I edited down the F-word in the above paragraph.
Claude.ai:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place some time ago—before you and I... you know—and I thought it would be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s era. You have to admit, driving the car is exhilarating, and these bed and breakfast places have been wonderful. I must tell you though, I didn’t know exactly how it would be. I suppose I took a chance. Do you want to go someplace else?”
Claude.ai more aggressive update:
“No, of course not. She mentioned this place before we... before us. I thought it’d be fun—a few weeks in the early 2000s. The driving’s exhilarating, right? And these B&Bs have been wonderful. But honestly? I didn’t know what to expect. I took a gamble. Want to go somewhere else?”
Google Gemini:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago—before you and I... well, you know. I just thought it would be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit, driving that car is exhilarating, and these bed and breakfasts have been wonderful. Honestly, though, I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I suppose I took a chance… Do you want to go somewhere else?”
Google Gemini more aggressive update:
“God, no. She told me about this place ages ago—way before we were a thing. My bright idea, right? A quick dip into the early 2000s, just for kicks. And this car is a blast, you can’t deny it. These B&Bs? Surprisingly sweet. But look, cards on the table: I didn’t really know what this would be. Total shot in the dark. So, if you hate it... seriously, we can pull the plug. Go somewhere else?”
Microsoft Copilot:
“No, of course not. She mentioned this place to me a while ago—before you and I… well, you know. I thought it would be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit, driving that car is exhilarating, and these bed-and-breakfasts have been fantastic.
I’ll be honest—I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I suppose I took a chance.
Do you want to go somewhere else?”
Microsoft Copilot more aggressive update:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago—before you and I… well, you know. I thought it’d be exciting to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s.
Driving that car? Exhilarating. These bed-and-breakfasts? Fantastic.
The ChatGPT-generated results impressed me; they had a good flow and sounded natural. Wow, Deepseek had a serious potty mouth and desperately needs a “no profanity” setting. The result read raw, but I liked the first result. There are some good improvements.
The Claude.ai did not clean up much on the first pass, but the aggressive results showed good improvement. The aggressive results on Google Gemini read the best. Microsoft Copilot was the only one to break it up into three paragraphs, and then it combined them back in the aggressive update. Strange.
My conclusion is that using AI to clean up a document still has room for improvement, and no chat box stands out as a clear winner. Yes, there were improvements, but flaws were also introduced. This includes added concepts that may not make sense in other parts of the document, micro-paragraphs, swear words, a changed tone, and a clear AI fingerprint.
The universal use of micro-paragraphs deeply confused me.
Does.
Breaking.
A.
Thought.
Into.
Ten.
Paragraphs.
Help.
The.
Reader?
I am going to apply some noodle time to figure that one out. Stay tuned for a future article.
For now, I do not recommend cleaning up a document with AI because the results are too unpredictable. One would think that there would be at least some consistency among the top five chat boxes. All I asked for was to improve the readability, which, in my mind, should be equivalent to accepting all the changes from ProWritingAid, Hemingway, and Grammarly. I expected small but powerful changes. However, facts were added, which is far outside the realm of readability. I would have understood if I had asked the chatbot to make the document more exciting, dramatic, thrilling, romantic, or funny.
Still, I see the potential in augmenting a document with AI, and perhaps in five years, chat boxes will improve to the point where they will be powerful enough to help yet tame enough to trust. For now, I will stick with my trusty keyboard and a bonkers mind to polish my documents.
PS, funny side story. I always run my articles through ProWritingAid and Grammarly. They had many suggested improvements for the AI-generated work, which I did not accept but found amusing that state-of-the-art AI still has grammar issues. And the original two paragraphs? Many suggestions…
You’re the best -Bill
June 04, 2025
Let’s break that down. The text output is typically free from grammatical and spelling mistakes. It reads smoothly, makes sense, and the content is usually correct.
I wanted to focus on a single AI chat box ability, improving a document. As a writer, I have not taken advantage of this feature for two reasons. The first is that I have a writing limitation; I require a lot of time. Meaning I need more time than the average person to settle on the best words, arrange them in a way that makes sense to me, and then self-edit my work. What I am doing is getting comfortable with what I have created. Only when I am fully confident do I allow my words to be made public.
Having a chat box completely rearrange everything, use unfamiliar words (not my typical vocabulary), and add or subtract topics goes against my method. I do not want to waste people’s time with words that do not meet my standard.
My second reason is that AI chat box words contain a huge fingerprint, and readers are catching on. We prefer human-written words and are getting upset with AI-generated nonsense.
Still, I thought it would be fun to provide the five most popular chatbots —ChatGPT, DeepSeek, Claude, Meta AI, Google Gemini, and Microsoft Copilot —with a paragraph that needs help. Then, evaluate the results.
Let’s examine one of my first drafts and pick out a dreadful section. Now, hold on. What about my rant about not wanting the public ever to see something I have claimed to have written, but which was generated by AI? Very true. Therefore, I will look elsewhere.
But where? That is easy—fan fiction. Yes, dedicated fans worldwide spend years developing new plots for their favorite franchise characters. Comic books, movies, books, plays, anime, cartoons, video games, board games, and television shows all have sites where fans post their homebrew stories.
Since novice writers often create fan fiction, their words are typically not edited, and the document is likely to be read by a small number of fans. Thus, people who enjoy fan fiction understand that the quality is not the best. Additionally, due to copyright, trademark, and legal concerns, these documents have been released into the public domain. This wealth of less-than-ideal documents makes fan fiction sites the perfect repository for my experiment.
So, I went to
https://trekkiefanfiction.com
selected two paragraphs, and here is the first:
“Sure thing, Captain,” came her reply. “Won’t be a minute!” It wouldn’t be long before the other six members of the motley crew would be down to join him, and Nick took the solitary moments to consider the strange roads that life had led him down to the moment where he stood, sharing the wonder of the infinite cosmos with his closest friends– his family. They were finally free. Free to be their own. It hadn’t always been like that.
https://trekkiefanfiction.com/stories...
My evaluation is that this does not read well. It seems that the author is trying to make something more exciting than it is, resulting in redundant sentences. In the broader context, the voice is weak, the dialogue is campy, and the narrative lacks focus. This paragraph needs a substantial rewrite.
Well, let’s get a professional to evaluate this paragraph. ProWritingAid gave it:
Grammar score 52% (should be 100%)
Style score 100% (should be 100%)
Glue words (unnecessary words) 52% (Should be less than 40%)
The site:
https://datayze.com/readability-analyzer
gave it the following:
Flesch Reading Ease 87.68 (Lower is better, indicates grade school)
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 5.7 (A fog score of 5 is readable, 10 is hard, 15 is difficult.)
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 3.02 (Requires a third-grade education to read.)
Dale-Chall Score 5.81 (A score of 4.9 or lower indicates the passage is easily readable by the average fourth grade.)
I asked ChatGPT to “Improve the following paragraph for readability.”
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The other six members of the motley crew would be joining him soon, but for now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of solitude. He let his thoughts drift, reflecting on the strange and winding paths that had brought him here—to this point in space, surrounded by the vastness of the cosmos, sharing it all with his closest friends. His family.
They were finally free. Free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: This reads better but not great. The writer is still trying too hard. Why are there two small paragraphs? Dramatic effect? I guess. The chatbot added some good details. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 55%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 46%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 92.09
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 4.92
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 1.81
Dale-Chall Score 5.85
For kicks, I asked ChatGPT, “more aggressive update” and got this:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she shouted back. “Give me a sec!”
The rest of the crew—six misfits bound by grit and luck—would be down soon. Until then, Nick stood alone, staring out into the endless stretch of stars. For a fleeting moment, he let himself feel it—the weight of everything they’d survived, the chaos they’d clawed through to get here.
This wasn’t luck. It was earned.
Now, they were free. Truly free. No chains. No orders. No one left to answer to but themselves.
It hadn’t always been that way. But damn, it was now.
My evaluation: I like the added details, and the result reads slightly better; however, there is a clear problem. It reads like AI-generated text and has lost the writer’s voice. And three short paragraphs? Strange…
I have never used Deepseek due to privacy concerns, but since it is ranked #2, I created an account using an email address I check once a year. Here is the result:
“You got it, Captain!” she called back. “Be right there!”
The rest of the crew—all six of them—would join him soon, but for now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of peace. His thoughts drifted, retracing the strange and winding paths that had led him here—to this quiet corner of the cosmos, surrounded by infinite stars, yet never truly alone. Not with them. His friends. His family.
They were free at last. Free to live as they chose.
But it hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: Not much of an improvement, and it added an exclamation point! Boo! Again, the two added short paragraphs. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 100%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 47%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 97.52
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 4.12
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 0.82
Dale-Chall Score 5.29
Since I was there… “more aggressive update”
“Yeah, yeah, Captain—keep your boots on!” she barked back. “I’m moving!”
The rest of the crew would be on his ass soon enough, but for now, Nick stood alone—just him, the void, and the ghosts of every bad call that had dragged them here. No regrets. No turning back. Just the endless black and the six lunatics he called family.
Free. Finally, goddamn free. No chains. No rules. Just whatever the hell they carved out for themselves.
But freedom? Yeah, that shit came with a price. And they’d paid in blood.
My evaluation: This reads a lot better. The redundancy is gone, and some nice added details have been included; it no longer reads like AI-generated text. Yet, there are swear words, which can be a big turn-off. What if this was a church newsletter? The two added paragraphs are longer, which I guess makes them a little more appropriate. The large invented details might clash with other text.
I was unaware of Claude.ai, so I created an account. Here is the result:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The other six members of the motley crew would be joining him soon, but for now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of solitude. He let his thoughts drift, reflecting on the strange and winding paths that had brought him here—to this point in space, surrounded by the vastness of the cosmos, sharing it all with his closest friends. His family.
They were finally free. Free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: There is not much improvement. Again, with the small added paragraphs. I will have to give this some thought. Perhaps short paragraphs are now the rage. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 55%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 47%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 99.87
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 2.35
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 0.53
Dale-Chall Score 5.99
Here is the “more aggressive update” result:
“Sure thing, Captain!” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
Nick stood alone, savoring the solitude. Soon the other six would join him, but for now he had this—silence among the stars.
He let his thoughts drift. Strange how life had twisted and turned to bring him here. Floating in the vastness with his closest friends.
His family.
They were free now. Free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: Better, but it reads choppy. It does not read AI-generated, but now there are six paragraphs wich is overkill. Here is what Gemini AI did:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The other six members of the motley crew would join him soon. For now, Nick stood alone, savoring a rare moment of solitude. His thoughts drifted, reflecting on the strange, winding paths that had brought him to this point: surrounded by the vastness of space, yet sharing it all with his closest friends. His family.
They were finally free—free to live on their own terms.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: There is very little change, except for breaking it into four paragraphs. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 100%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 43%
Slow pacing 50%
Flesch Reading Ease 90.04
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 5.45
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 2.27
Dale-Chall Score 5.87
Some clear improvement in readability. Here is the “more aggressive update” result:
“Sure thing, Captain,” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
The rest of the crew—all six—would shatter this quiet soon enough. For now, Nick stood utterly alone, claiming a precious sliver of silence in the void. His mind plunged, unbidden, down the twisting, improbable spiral of choices and chances that had hurled him here: an infinitesimal speck adrift in the star-dusted abyss, yet anchored to meaning by his friends. His family.
They were free. Finally, fiercely free. Free to forge their own destiny.
Such liberty was a raw, intoxicating thing, almost too new to trust.
My evaluation: This is very similar to the ChatGPT text. It reads better, but it is clear that the AI generated it. Here is what Microsoft Copilot generated:
“Sure thing, Captain!” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
For now, Nick stood alone, relishing a rare moment of solitude. Soon, the other six members of their motley crew would join him, but in this brief interlude, he let his thoughts wander. He reflected on the long, twisting journey that had led him here—to this place among the stars, surrounded by the endless expanse of the cosmos, sharing it all with the people who mattered most. His closest friends. His family.
They were free at last. Free to live life on their own terms.
My evaluation: This reads more tightly and has a better flow. It combined the last two sentences into one paragraph, which I like, but added an exclamation point, which I do not. The three paragraphs seem to be a trend. Of all the updates, this was my favorite. Here is the analysis:
Grammar score 100%
Style score 100%
Glue words (unnecessary words) 46%
Slow pacing 33%
Flesch Reading Ease 88.83
Gunning Fog Scale Leve 5.32
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 2.36
Dale-Chall Score 6.57
Some improvement on readability. Here is the “more aggressive update” result:
“Sure thing, Captain!” she called back. “Won’t be a minute!”
Nick stood alone, relishing the rare quiet. Soon, the rest of the crew would join him, but for now, it was just him—adrift in the vastness of space, the stars stretching endlessly around him.
They had fought for this. Earned it.
Freedom.
It hadn’t always been that way.
My evaluation: This tightened things up, but I have never been a fan of one-word sentences or tiny paragraphs.
Here is the next paragraph. This time, I will skip the analysis.
“No, of course not. She told me about this place some time ago...before you and I... you know...and I thought it would be, well, fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000 era. You have to admit, driving the car is exhilarating and these bed and breakfast places have been wonderful. I must tell you though; I didn’t know exactly how it would be. I suppose I took a chance...do you want to go someplace else?”
https://trekkiefanfiction.com/stories...
ChatGPT:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago—before you and I... well, you know—and I thought it might be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit, driving the car is exhilarating, and these bed-and-breakfast places have been amazing. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. I guess I took a chance. So... do you want to go somewhere else?”
ChatGPT more aggressive update:
“No, of course not. She mentioned this place a while back—before things started between us—and I figured, why not? A few weeks in the early 2000s sounded like a blast. Come on, driving that car is a rush, and these bed-and-breakfasts have been incredible. I won’t lie—I didn’t know exactly what I was walking into, but I went for it. So, what do you say? Ready to move on, or are you still in?”
Deepseek:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago... before you and I... well, before everything. I thought it’d be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit—driving that car is exhilarating, and these bed-and-breakfasts have been wonderful.
But I’ll be honest—I wasn’t sure how it’d turn out. I took a chance. If you’re not happy here... we can go somewhere else?”
Deepseek more aggressive update:
“Hell no. She told me about this dump before we got tangled up. Figured it’d be fun to time-jump to the f-ing 2000s - at least the car’s got some balls to it, and the beds are decent.
Look, I didn’t promise you paradise. I took a shot. If you’ve got a problem with it, spit it out. Otherwise quit whining and enjoy the ride, or we can bail right now.”
Note: I edited down the F-word in the above paragraph.
Claude.ai:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place some time ago—before you and I... you know—and I thought it would be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s era. You have to admit, driving the car is exhilarating, and these bed and breakfast places have been wonderful. I must tell you though, I didn’t know exactly how it would be. I suppose I took a chance. Do you want to go someplace else?”
Claude.ai more aggressive update:
“No, of course not. She mentioned this place before we... before us. I thought it’d be fun—a few weeks in the early 2000s. The driving’s exhilarating, right? And these B&Bs have been wonderful. But honestly? I didn’t know what to expect. I took a gamble. Want to go somewhere else?”
Google Gemini:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago—before you and I... well, you know. I just thought it would be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit, driving that car is exhilarating, and these bed and breakfasts have been wonderful. Honestly, though, I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I suppose I took a chance… Do you want to go somewhere else?”
Google Gemini more aggressive update:
“God, no. She told me about this place ages ago—way before we were a thing. My bright idea, right? A quick dip into the early 2000s, just for kicks. And this car is a blast, you can’t deny it. These B&Bs? Surprisingly sweet. But look, cards on the table: I didn’t really know what this would be. Total shot in the dark. So, if you hate it... seriously, we can pull the plug. Go somewhere else?”
Microsoft Copilot:
“No, of course not. She mentioned this place to me a while ago—before you and I… well, you know. I thought it would be fun to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s. You have to admit, driving that car is exhilarating, and these bed-and-breakfasts have been fantastic.
I’ll be honest—I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I suppose I took a chance.
Do you want to go somewhere else?”
Microsoft Copilot more aggressive update:
“No, of course not. She told me about this place a while ago—before you and I… well, you know. I thought it’d be exciting to spend a few weeks in the early 2000s.
Driving that car? Exhilarating. These bed-and-breakfasts? Fantastic.
The ChatGPT-generated results impressed me; they had a good flow and sounded natural. Wow, Deepseek had a serious potty mouth and desperately needs a “no profanity” setting. The result read raw, but I liked the first result. There are some good improvements.
The Claude.ai did not clean up much on the first pass, but the aggressive results showed good improvement. The aggressive results on Google Gemini read the best. Microsoft Copilot was the only one to break it up into three paragraphs, and then it combined them back in the aggressive update. Strange.
My conclusion is that using AI to clean up a document still has room for improvement, and no chat box stands out as a clear winner. Yes, there were improvements, but flaws were also introduced. This includes added concepts that may not make sense in other parts of the document, micro-paragraphs, swear words, a changed tone, and a clear AI fingerprint.
The universal use of micro-paragraphs deeply confused me.
Does.
Breaking.
A.
Thought.
Into.
Ten.
Paragraphs.
Help.
The.
Reader?
I am going to apply some noodle time to figure that one out. Stay tuned for a future article.
For now, I do not recommend cleaning up a document with AI because the results are too unpredictable. One would think that there would be at least some consistency among the top five chat boxes. All I asked for was to improve the readability, which, in my mind, should be equivalent to accepting all the changes from ProWritingAid, Hemingway, and Grammarly. I expected small but powerful changes. However, facts were added, which is far outside the realm of readability. I would have understood if I had asked the chatbot to make the document more exciting, dramatic, thrilling, romantic, or funny.
Still, I see the potential in augmenting a document with AI, and perhaps in five years, chat boxes will improve to the point where they will be powerful enough to help yet tame enough to trust. For now, I will stick with my trusty keyboard and a bonkers mind to polish my documents.
PS, funny side story. I always run my articles through ProWritingAid and Grammarly. They had many suggested improvements for the AI-generated work, which I did not accept but found amusing that state-of-the-art AI still has grammar issues. And the original two paragraphs? Many suggestions…
You’re the best -Bill
June 04, 2025
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