Six “Soft Skills” To Make You a Better Writer

by Sarah Sally Hamer @SarahSallyHamer
When we think about the skills it takes to be a better writer, we usually think of characterization or structure or word choices. But writing is not just about what we write on the page, it’s about a depth of understanding that a reader can resonate with. Honestly, anyone can write a book – it just takes putting words on paper in some way or another. But a book that people WANT to read? It takes a lot more than just words. Here are some skills I recommend, not only for writing, but ones we could use in almost any situation of human interaction. 
Become a Better Writer by Mastering These Six Skills
1. Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Every reader, just like anyone else on the planet, has particular tastes. We all have books we like and don’t like. Writers simply are not going to check off every box. But we have our own personal level of understanding, and writing, what matters to us. Love, hate, grief, happiness: we all have our own style of putting the words we write into a particular order. But being able to communicate with readers, to tell stories that echo through generations and cultures, to find people who care about the same things we do, is like finding buried treasure. Why do so many people still read Jane Austin’s books? Because she deftly explains the situation many women of her time (early 1800s) faced, where life choices really made a difference. We have multiple options in this century but, back then, marriage could make the difference between an easy or a hard life. Austin’s deep understanding, and the personal choices she made, give the reader a view into despair, heartache, scandal, and, ultimately, the future of a culture that depended on the fact that, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” And all of her books are wrapped around that piece of emotional intelligence.
2. Adaptability
Styles change. The way we write changes. Publishing changes (probably more in the last fifty years than in the last five hundred years). What we write about changes. That doesn’t mean that Tolkien’s or Herbert’s stories and, of course, even Beowulf, won’t be retold in thousands of versions. Good structure is good structure. But we MUST adapt to the changes in the story-telling world. This does not mean that we give up our voices to the crazy whims of each new idea, but it does mean that we should, and can, adapt in the ways that stories are presented to each new generation.
3. Communication Skills
Writing IS communication. Whether it’s with readers or publishing professionals (editors, agents, other writers, etc.), being able to understand the conversation, sometimes at several levels, can make the difference between success and failure. Honing our skills and learning both to talk and to listen, may open doors or keep them from closing. 
4. Time Management
Don’t let the time bandits steal your productivity. This doesn’t mean that you need a calendar with every minute scheduled, but to be aware of where your time goes. We can get a lot done in a small amount of time if we allow ourselves to focus on the important things. Also, consider examining your commitments. Are you over booking? (Literally?) Saying “no” may lose an opportunity, but it can also help your sanity.
5. Creativity
Where does your creativity come from? Do you feed that source? Or do you drain your creativity cup, day by day, until there’s nothing left? How can you both replenish and renew creativity? You’re the only one who knows. And, finding that peace within you to make it happen could be the most important thing you do. May I suggest you start looking? Because readers will recognize that empty cup. They know when we have exhausted our store.
6. Resilience
Similar to adaptation, resilience is the ability to bounce back from any turmoil or upset. It’s part determination and part stubbornness. Finding the way back from something that looks like failure isn’t always easy. But, sometimes, it’s those “unanswered prayers” that lead us to a better place. So, keeping on keeping on allows us to find what we really wanted and needed in our lives. 
Bottom line, our writing reflects our level of personal honesty. Writing the words is easy. It’s writing the humanity and the understanding of how we all work with each other that truly makes the difference, both in our writing and in our own lives. 
Which of the skills do you think is most important? Which one will you tackle first?
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Sarah (Sally) Hamer, B.S., MLA, is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories and has won awards at both local and national levels, including two Golden Heart finals.
A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online for Margie Lawson at www.margielawson.com and for the No Stress Writing Academy at https://www.worldanvil.com/w/classes-.... Sally is a free-lance editor and book coach, with many of her students and clients becoming successful, award-winning authors. 
You can find her at info@mindpotential.org