How to Tell If You’re Actually Good with Kids — or Just Tolerant

You’ve heard it before. Maybe you’ve even said it: “I’m good with kids.” But how can you actually tell? Is it because you kept your cool during a chaotic birthday party? Or because your niece clung to you instead of running for her mum?

There’s a big difference between being tolerant of children and being genuinely good with them. And for those who are thinking about turning that interest into a career — or even just testing the waters — it might be worth exploring whether the skills are really there. Signing up for a practical, hands-on childcare assistant course can help reveal that. But first, let’s look at the signs that separate natural fit from polite patience.

Tolerant vs. Talented: What’s the Real Difference?

Liking kids in theory is one thing. But being consistently calm, responsive, and confident around them — especially in challenging situations — is another.

Here’s what tolerance might look like:

You don’t mind being around kids, as long as they’re quiet or well-behaved.
You get flustered when a child doesn’t listen or throws a tantrum.
You feel relieved when “kid time” is over.
You enjoy one-on-one moments but avoid group situations (like daycare or playgroups).

Being good with kids, on the other hand, usually shows up as:

Genuine curiosity about how they think, play, and learn
Patience in the face of repetitive questions, mess, and moods
The ability to stay calm, even when the room isn’t
A sense of humour and flexibility that helps kids feel safe and seen
Key Traits That Go Beyond “Liking Kids”

You don’t have to be a human cartoon character or a kid-whisperer to thrive in childcare. But there are a few traits that strong carers tend to share — and they’re often what sets them apart from people who are simply nice to be around.

1. Emotional regulation

Kids are unpredictable. They scream, cry, jump, push, and ask the same question seven times in a row. If you can keep your cool in those moments, not just fake a smile, that’s a good sign.

2. Observation

You notice the small things — a child hanging back from group play, a change in energy, a developing interest. This is how good carers pick up on what kids need before they ask for it (and sometimes before they know themselves).

3. Communication

Talking to kids is a skill. So is listening to them. If you can shift your tone, get on their level (literally and emotionally), and explain things clearly, you’re probably doing more than you realise.

4. Boundaries and consistency

Being good with kids doesn’t mean being a pushover. In fact, children thrive when adults are consistent, kind, and firm. If you can set fair limits and still maintain trust, you’re on the right path.

The Role of Curiosity and Continued Learning

Here’s something you may not hear often enough: being great with kids can be learned. Yes, some people are more naturally suited to it, but many of the best childcare professionals simply started with curiosity — and built their confidence through practice, training, and feedback.

That’s why enrolling in a childcare assistant course can be a helpful step, even if you’re not 100% sure you want to pursue it long-term. These programs introduce you to real-life scenarios, behaviour strategies, early childhood development basics, and how to create environments where kids feel supported and secure.

Sometimes, you don’t know if you’re good at something until you actually do it — in a setting designed to help you grow, not just survive the next toddler meltdown.

Common Misconceptions About Working with Kids

A lot of people hesitate to take the next step with childcare because of these myths:

“It’s just babysitting.” Not true. Supporting a child’s learning, behaviour, and emotional development takes skill, planning, and intentional action.
“I’m not outgoing enough.” You don’t need to be loud or animated — you need to be steady, patient, and caring.
“It’s all fun and games.” Yes, play is a huge part of working with kids. But so is setting routines, helping resolve conflicts, managing group dynamics, and handling paperwork or parent communication.

Good carers do much more than keep kids entertained. They help shape a child’s experience of the world — and that’s no small thing.

So… Are You Just Tolerating? Or Truly Connecting?

There’s no shame in realising kids might not be your thing — but if you’ve ever wondered whether there’s something more to your interest, it might be time to explore it properly.

Start by asking yourself:

Do I feel energised after spending time with kids, even when it’s chaotic?
Can I stay calm when things don’t go according to plan?
Am I open to learning and growing in how I work with children?
Do I genuinely want to help them learn, grow, and feel safe?

If your answer is yes to most of those questions, it might not just be tolerance. It might be the start of something more.

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