What I Learned After Years of Advocating for My Child at School

“He’s just being naughty.”

That’s what the teacher said the first time I mentioned my son’s behaviour in class.

He was 5.

Restless. Curious. Easily distracted. 

Quick to shout answers. Always moving. Always touching. 

And somehow,… always in trouble.

I remember sitting in that tiny plastic chair during our first parent-teacher meeting, my hands gripping my lap, my heart thumping. The words “lack of discipline” and “maybe he needs stricter boundaries” kept ringing in my ears.

But deep down, I knew. 

Something didn’t feel right. 

This wasn’t about discipline. This was about being different in a system built for sameness.

The Invisible Work of Advocacy

Advocating for your child—especially when they don’t fit the standard mould—feels like navigating a never-ending maze.

You start off hopeful. 

You gather notes. You write emails. You ask questions.

Then comes the resistance. The subtle eye-rolls. The polite dismissals. 

Sometimes, even other parents say things like: “Maybe he just needs more structure at home.”

And it hurts. Not because they’re right. But because they don’t see the hours you’ve spent learning, adjusting, loving, and trying.

I’ve been there. I am there.

I’ve worn every hat and sat on both sides of the table. And here’s the raw truth:

Schools are not always ready for our children. But we can help them get there.

What I’ve Learned (The Hard Way)Teachers aren’t the enemy—but they’re not always trained. 

   Most teachers want to help. However, they may not have the tools to understand neurodiversity. Instead of fighting, I started sharing bite-sized strategies: “Can we try letting him stand while working today?” or “He does better when given a 2-minute warning before transitions.”

Your child needs a translator. That’s YOU. 

   My son’s “hyperactivity” was his way of saying: I’m overwhelmed. I can’t sit still anymore. 

   I became his interpreter—explaining his cues and helping his teachers see the child behind the behaviour.

Progress isn’t linear—and that’s okay. 

   Some weeks, he aces spelling. Other weeks, we celebrate that he stayed seated for 10 minutes without needing a break. Both are wins. 

   I stopped comparing him to other kids and started tracking his progress only.

Connection before correction. Always. 

   No learning happens when a child feels judged or rejected. I noticed that the moment teachers connected with him—played with him, asked about his favourite song—his behaviour improved significantly.

Want to Try This at Home? Here’s an Activity That Helped Us Hugely:

“The Feelings Toolbox” – a weekly family ritual

What You Need: 

An old shoebox Some paper Markers or crayons Small objects or toys that represent feelings (e.g., a mini flashlight = “I feel seen,” a rock = “I feel heavy,” a feather = “I feel light,” etc.)

What You Do: 

Once a week (we do Sundays), sit down as a family and “check-in” using the toolbox. 

Let your child pick 2-3 items or feelings and talk about their week.

Ask: 

“When did you feel proud this week?” “Was there a moment you felt invisible?” “What was hard at school?” 

No interruptions. No “correcting” their feelings. Just listening.

This simple act opened up our world. Suddenly, school wasn’t just a place of anxiety—it became part of our shared story.

A Note for You, Dear Parent

If you feel like you’re always the one sending emails, asking questions, and requesting “just five minutes” with the teacher…

You are not too much. 

You are not overreacting. 

You are not alone.

You’re a lighthouse in foggy waters. 

And your child sees that light—even when they can’t put it into words.

Need help figuring out how to advocate without burning out? I’m here. 

Let’s talk—whether it’s creating an IEP strategy, decoding classroom behaviour, or just being heard. 

Book a 1:1 session here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Share your experience in the comments: What’s been your biggest challenge when advocating for your child in school?

Together, we can make classrooms feel a little more human—and a lot more hopeful.

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Recommended Resources for Parents Advocating for Neurodiverse Children

If you’re navigating the journey of supporting a neurodiverse child, equipping yourself with the right tools and knowledge can make a significant difference. Here are some curated resources to assist you:

Free Online Courses

Enhance your understanding and strategies with these comprehensive courses:

ADHD in Child Development

  Delve into the symptoms, subtypes, and treatments of ADHD, and explore how parenting styles can impact a child’s development.

Teaching: How to Promote Positive Behaviour in Children and Youth

  Learn techniques to cultivate supportive school environments and prevent negative behaviours through the use of positive reinforcement strategies.

Hyperactivity Disorder in Children

  Gain insights into managing hyperactivity in children both at home and in educational settings.

Child Development: Play Therapy

  Understand the role of play in helping children overcome emotional and behavioural challenges.

Early Childhood Anger Management

  Explore strategies to help children manage anger and develop emotional regulation skills.

Helpful Products for Home and School

Enhance your child’s daily routine and learning experience with these recommended products:

2-in-1 Routine Chart Kid Visual Schedule Calendar Chart: This visual schedule helps children understand daily routines, promotes independence, and reduces anxiety. Thriving with ADHD Workbook for Kids: 60 Fun Activities : Packed with engaging activities, this workbook helps children develop focus, self-regulation, and organizational skills. Learning Resources Cool Down Cubes Sensory Fidget Set : These sensory tools provide tactile stimulation, helping children manage stress and improve concentration. 2.4G Wireless Bluetooth Gaming Headphones ONIKUMA B100 : Designed for comfort and noise reduction, these headphones can help children focus in noisy environments. Oxford Phonics World 3: Long Vowels : This resource supports phonics learning, helping children develop reading and pronunciation skills.Let’s Connect

Every child’s journey is unique, and sometimes, personalized guidance can make all the difference. If you’re seeking tailored strategies or just someone to talk to, we’re here for you.

Book a 1:1 consultation with us here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Your advocacy matters, and together, we can create supportive environments where every child thrives.