Not Dangerous, Just Different: In Defense of Neurodivergent Parenting

“Your article is biased, specious, and frankly, dangerous.”

That was the comment.

No emojis. No constructive feedback. Just a string of sharp words.

I stared at it for a few seconds, half amused, half exhausted.

Because it wasn’t the first time.

Whenever I write about phonics games that work for kids who flap their hands when excited…

Or when I share that my son learns best while dancing to Jack Hartmann instead of sitting still…

Or when I talk about rewards and visual cues that help a child through a meltdown…

Someone always shows up, convinced I’m pushing pseudoscience or “overcomplicating childhood.”

But let’s get real for a minute.

When Advice Sounds Offensive to the Uninformed

What they call “dangerous.”

I call it a lifeline.

Because here’s what they didn’t see last Tuesday:

Curled under the dining table, my son’s fists clenched, unable to find the words to explain why his shoelaces “felt wrong.”

They didn’t see me drop to my knees, match his tone, and whisper,

“Let’s give your feet a name. Are they shouting or whispering today?”

He blinked. Paused. Whispered,

“They’re shouting, Mama.”

We named his sensory discomfort. We gave it shape. And he stood up.

No, it wasn’t “just a tantrum.”

It was a communication breakthrough disguised as chaos.

The Real Problem: The World Still Wants ‘Normal’

Every time we share something that works for neurodiverse children—a visual routine chart, a phonics game involving Play-Doh, a praise system for trying rather than succeeding—it gets labelled as weird, new-age, or wrong.

Why?

Because people are still stuck on one-size-fits-all parenting.

They want calm children in quiet rows, neatly learning their ABCs from flashcards—not from chalk drawings on a trampoline.

They don’t see that the so-called “silly” method is often the only bridge to connection, comprehension, and confidence.

The Children Behind the Criticism

What if, instead of arguing about labels, we asked: “What does this child need to feel safe enough to try?”

Not every child learns to read by “sounding out.”

Not every child will sit cross-legged during circle time.

Some need to clap the sounds out, bounce while reading, or sort letters by feel.

And when we meet them where they are—not where society expects them to be—they bloom.

That’s not biased.

It’s intentional.

That’s not dangerous.

It’s human.

Let’s Flip the Script: Try This at Home

Here’s a gentle but powerful activity I often recommend to families:

The “Tell Me What You’d Do” Game

Choose a tricky situation your child has experienced—meltdown at the mall, sibling fight, bedtime resistance.

Then, turn it into a storytelling prompt:

“Imagine this happened to someone in a cartoon. What would YOU tell them to do next?”

You’ll be surprised how easily kids suggest self-soothing tricks, ways to ask for help, or things they wish you knew.

Bonus: It gives them emotional vocabulary without the pressure of directly talking about their behaviour.

To the Critics — and the Caregivers

If you’ve ever been told your parenting style is too gentle, too soft, or too structured,

I want to remind you:

You are not biased.

You are not dangerous.

You are deeply tuned into a child the world hasn’t learned to listen to yet.

So, keep using silly songs to teach spelling.

Keep naming big feelings with snack metaphors.

Keep showing up with tools, not just rules.

You’re not raising a robot.

You’re raising a human—with a wild, growing, beautiful brain.

Let’s Talk

Ever been criticized for doing what works for your child? Drop your story in the comments—I’d love to listen.

Need help building a calm, connected learning rhythm at home?

Book a 1:1 consultation with me here: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.

Together, we’ll turn your “biased” strategies into breakthroughs.

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Recommended Tools & Toys to Support Your Child’s Learning Journey

If you’re seeking resources to enhance your child’s learning experience, here are some thoughtfully selected products and courses that align with the strategies discussed in this blog:

Engaging Learning Tools

Montessori Reading Wooden Toys These tactile tools help children build words by rotating wooden blocks, making phonics learning interactive and hands-on. The Fidget Game: Word Pop! Combining the fun of pop-its with phonics, this game aids in reinforcing CVC words, making learning both enjoyable and effective.Alphabet Pop Fidget Toy Letters: A sensory toy that merges the calming effect of fidgeting with alphabet learning, suitable for children who benefit from multisensory approaches.

Online Learning Resources

ClassMonitor Phonics Learning Kit This comprehensive kit includes flashcards and worksheets designed to make phonics learning engaging for young children.

Free Online Courses

Understanding ADHD This free course offers insights into ADHD, helping parents and educators understand and support children effectively.Introduction to Child Psychology: Gain a foundational understanding of child development and behaviour, aiding in creating supportive learning environments.

Need Personalized Guidance?

If you’re looking for tailored strategies to support your child’s unique learning needs, feel free to book a 1:1 consultation with me: https://topmate.io/namita_das11

Together, we can create a nurturing and effective learning plan for your child.