Why Symptoms Fluctuate Throughout Life — And What That Actually Means
“Mumma, I finished my homework already!”
It was Saturday evening. Arihaan was proud, I was thrilled, and the weekend felt smooth for once. We celebrated with some pancakes and an impromptu dance party in the kitchen.
Fast forward to Monday morning: the homework was gone.
We checked the drawers, the table, under the bed… only to find it hidden beneath a stack of puzzles and books he’d played with late Sunday night.
Was it carelessness? Laziness? Forgetfulness?
No. It was simply a fluctuation.
Wait, But I Thought We Were Past This?I can’t tell you how many parents I’ve spoken to who feel defeated when old behaviours resurface after weeks—or even months—of progress.
You’re not alone if you’ve ever thought:
“She was doing so well with routines—why is brushing teeth a battle again?”“He was making eye contact and answering questions—why has he gone quiet?”“I thought the meltdowns were behind us…”These ups and downs are more than ordinary—they’re expected. Yet, no one really prepares you for them.
The Hidden Layers Behind FluctuationsHere’s what we rarely talk about: Neurodiverse children are constantly navigating invisible factors that affect how they show up on any given day.
Think about it:
A night of poor sleepA noisy classroomA slight change in the teacher’s toneA skipped snackAn unfamiliar smell in the roomThese seemingly small things can have a significant impact. Our children’s emotional and sensory systems are more sensitive than we realize. When their environment shifts—even slightly—it’s like handing them a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. They’re still trying to complete it, but it takes more time, energy, and, sometimes, a meltdown.
That doesn’t mean they’ve “lost” a skill. It means they’re using their brainpower elsewhere—on regulating, adapting, coping.
Progress Isn’t Linear (And That’s Okay)I used to measure progress by how many days in a row we got things “right.” But that only led to burnout—for both of us.
What I’ve learned instead is this:
Progress loops. It dips, returns, and sometimes pauses while other parts of your child’s development catch up.
Fluctuations are not setbacks.
They’re simply reminders that our kids are not robots—they’re humans learning to live in a world that doesn’t always speak their language.
So What Can You Do About It?Here are three gentle things we practice in our home (and with my clients) when symptoms shift:
Name the Weather, Not the BehaviorInstead of saying, “Why are you being so cranky?” I try,
“It feels like today is a bit stormy, huh?”
This removes blame and invites reflection without judgment.
Create a Consistent Wind-Down RoutineRight before bed, we have a 5-minute quiet time. No pressure to talk or explain. Sometimes we read, sometimes we cuddle, sometimes we lie there and breathe together. It gives his nervous system a place to land.
Track Moments, Not MetricsInstead of tracking “good days” and “bad days,” I jot down one moment of connection each evening. Something that worked, no matter how small:
“He waited for his turn at snack time today.”
“He asked for help instead of shutting down.”
These glimpses build perspective—real, resilient progress.
You’re Not Going Backward. You’re Moving Differently.So the next time your child forgets a skill, melts down in a familiar place, or suddenly struggles with something they’d mastered, take a breath.
They are not regressing. They are recalibrating.
And so are you.
Need help navigating your child’s ups and downs? I offer gentle, personalized support.
Click here to book a 1:1 consultation with me: https://topmate.io/namita_das11
In the comments, I’d love to know: What’s one fluctuation you’ve noticed in your child—and how did you respond?
Recommended Tools to Support Your Child’s JourneyUnderstanding that fluctuations in behaviour are a natural part of growth, especially for neurodiverse children, it’s beneficial to have supportive tools. Here are some thoughtfully selected products that can assist in creating a nurturing environment:
Sensory Activity Boards Engaging in tactile play can help children self-regulate and focus.Ji and Ja Sensory Activity Board for Kids: A silicone fidget toy designed to enhance fine motor skills and relieve stress. Suitable for children aged 3 and above. Visual Timers Visual timers can assist children in understanding time concepts, aiding in transitions and task completion.Visual Timer for Kids by Lemon Littles: A 60-minute silent countdown timer with an animal-themed design, ideal for improving time management skills. Weighted Blankets Weighted blankets provide deep pressure stimulation, which can have a calming effect and improve sleep quality. Harkla Kids Weighted Blanket (5 lbs) Made from bamboo and minky fabric, this blanket is designed for sensory seekers and autistic children. Suitable for kids weighing between 30-40 lbs. Calming Sensory Toys These toys can help reduce anxiety and improve focus by providing visual and tactile stimulation.Livond Calming Sensory Toys (3 Pack Liquid Motion): A set of liquid motion bubblers that can serve as practical calm-down tools for children with ADHD and anxiety.Incorporating these tools into daily routines can provide additional support for your child’s unique needs. Every child is different, so it is essential to observe and understand what works best for them.
If you need personalized guidance on selecting the right tools or strategies for your child, please book a 1:1 consultation with us: https://topmate.io/namita_das11.