Craigslist - The Haven of the Terminally Moronic

I bought a laptop on craigslist today. It was such an incredible pain in the ass, that I was close to conking people's heads together like Hulk Hogan. Conking is a sweet word - gonna have to use that more often. Anyway, the guy we got the computer from was so stupid that I'm actually concerned that he's starving to death right now, because he is incapable of remembering to feed himself.

First, I called someone else about a computer they had listed. When he answered the phone I told him I was calling about his laptop for sale. He hung up on me. I had already sent him an email asking about his listing, and the next day he responded, saying that the computer was still for sale.  When I told him that I called the day before and he hung up on me, he had no idea what I was talking about. Crack is whack, dip shit.

The next guy...wow. He lived an hour away from us, and I just wasn't willing to drive that far.  I asked if he would meet us halfway. He said that was too far, and then suggested a different meeting place that was in the WRONG DIRECTION. Yes, he actually wanted to meet somewhere that was further away for both of us.  After getting that straightened out, we settled on a meeting time of 1 PM the next day.  The following morning at 11 AM I sent him a text message confirming our meeting.

He replied that we were to meet at 1 PM the day before.  Even though I hadn't even contacted him until 7 PM.  That's probably confusing because my head is about to explode and I'm rambling.  In short, he apparently thought that I was capable of time travel, and that we were setting up a meeting for six hours prior to our conversation.  After setting up a new time, I grudgingly agreed to try this again.

We decided to meet in the parking lot of a grocery store.  I told him to meet me at the edge of the lot, that way we could see each other pulling in as we arrived. The Tall One and I get there, park at the edge by the entrance, and send him a text message that we are there.  A few minutes pass and we don't hear anything, so I give him a call. When he answers he tells me that he's already there, and that he's been waiting for quite awhile.

Captain Genius parked in the middle of the lot, with his car pointing in the wrong direction. So I walk up to his vehicle and he asks me my name before I can even say anything.  I tell him I'm Jason Fucking Brant (not really, but that would have been sweet) and then I go through the process of buying the computer from him. As I'm getting ready to leave, he asks me what my name is again.  Then asks me if he's already asked that. At this point I'm starting to get concerned for his health, my health, and the future of the human race.

We got the hell out of there, and then I continued to question myself as to why I still use craigslist.  I have a ton of other stories about people I've meet through that site, and I may have to post them sometime.

Including the time my brother sold a guy something, the man asked my bro if he was a Ron Paul supporter, gave him a book about the end of the world, and then peeled tired out of the driveway.

Yeah.  Use condoms people.