April 18, 2025: Our Columbo rewatch continues with…Lovely But Lethal!

This episode aired September 23, 1973.

The Beauty Mark lab previously played as the operating room in “A Stitch in Crime”.

Martin Sheen offered his thoughts on Columbo creators Levinson and Link: “I just adore them. It’s just that simple. They’re just such good and decent and bright and funny guys. I laugh around them all the time. They’re very humane. I would work for them wherever, whatever.”

Sheen also revealed that one of the big reasons he accepted the role was the opportunity it would give him to meet Vincent Price: “I wanted to meet Vincent Price. Even though I knew I had no scenes with him, I knew I’d get to meet him. That was my thrill. He’s one of my favorite actors. We had great fun together. That’s my favorite memory of that whole show.”

For his part, Price had equally fond memories of Sheen and Columbo: “Well, I became an enormous fan of Martin Sheen. I loved the show, so I was very pleased to be asked to be on it.”

My thoughts on this episode in chronological viewing order:

Man, that is one shaky surgeon.

At first, I assumed they were working on cadavers but it was obvious the woman was very much alive. What kind of skin scare research requires the use of a scalpel on a live human subject? Do we find out what’s going on here? (Spoiler alert: We do not.)

That is some great catty back-and-forth between Viveca Scott and David Lang. Meeeow!

Wait. They went ahead with the product launch on the basis of a single test?

What the hell is Lang’s assistant wearing? It’s like a Leprechaun’s girl scout uniform.

“Wrinkles disappear and it lasts all day!”. The holy grail of skin care products!

In all fairness, that shifty Karl Lessing deserved that braining.

Oh, Columbo once again making his own breakfast. Does this mean he’s sleeping on the couch? Will he crack the egg on the microscope?

“Every time I go to the bathroom, there she is.” I laughed.

Curious. He was broke yet booked all those fancy trips.

Curious use of an eyebrow pencil!

Classic Columbo entry, stumbling onto the photo shoot.

Viveca on the phone with her assistant turns – to reveal Columbo standing right beside her, startling her. Great.

Brunettes use black eyebrow pencil, but she’s a redhead.

Bruce Kirby as lab assistant Doug doing a terrible job of emptying those waste baskets.

Aha. Her missing beauty mark. How do you apply them? “I use an eyebrow pencil of course. A black one.”

I’m curious at what point Columbo suspected Viveca. Was it her picture on the dartboard in Karl’s home?

“Viveca Scott is one of my oldest and dearest friends,”says David Lang, lying through his teeth. A true Hollywood type.

Both Lang and his assistant, Shirley, clearly lying about their connection to Lessing. Will Columbo pursue them as potential suspects as well?

Uh oh. Shirley is angling to blackmail Viveca. I predict she is soon to follow in the doomed footsteps of Tanner the butler and Lily La Sanka.

What’s with all those women in red track suits? It’s like Chinese Squid Game.

Viveca, on the other hand, looks smokin’ in that white one piece with the matching white gloves.

Classic Columbo, averting his eyes and growing flustered at the sight of the nude sunbathers.

That is one clumsily executed switcheroo on the cigarette case. Shirley is either easily distracted or incredibly near-sighted not to spot it lying on the ground.

“You really are a very stubborn man.” and “You belong in a museum.” are accurate descriptions of our affable Columbo.

In retrospect, keeping the jar in the flour tin and leaving behind that trademark hexagonal print feels…very convenient.

Hang on. She admits she dated Lessing two years ago and claims it isn’t a big deal – yet claimed she didn’t really know him after learning of his death. Clumsy.

“I like young men. Lots of them.” Uh, wut?

There’s no poison ivy in California? Is that true?

Another classic Columbo beat finds him already sitting in her office when she arrives.

He goes to leave and then suddenly holds up: “Say, I was going to tell you something funny.” Just one more thing!

She’s wearing tan gloves to match her tan outfit. Poison Ivy aside, I’m kind of loving the accessorizing and may work it into my own wardrobe. Very villainish.

Production blunder. The safe is slightly ajar when she goes through the motions of opening it, like that Blue Origin capsule. Reminds me of that time on Stargate when someone stole petty cash from the safe in accounting. When questioned, the accountants admitted they kept the safe unlocked to save time. To which my partner, Paul, remarked: “So, it’s not really a safe. It’s more of a risky.”

Why did she have to toss out the jar? I mean, it IS her product. She did commission it.

Brother-in-law George just got back from Mexico with his slides! I feel the producers missed a huge opportunity by not giving couch-surfing deadbeat George his own series.

The episode is over, but that opening sequence is never really explained.

Alas, season 3 not off to a strong start. Not a terrible episode yet not a particularly memorable one either. Some nice Columbo moments and I do love Vera Miles as Viveca, but I thought they could have made much more of the David Lang rivalry that showed so much potential in the early goings only to fade away as the episode progressed. And the whole poison ivy clue felt pretty contrived.

So, reassessing my episode rankings: 1. Double Shock, 2. A Stitch in Crime, 3. Death Lends a Hand, 4. Suitable for Framing, 5. Dagger of the Mind, 6 Requiem for a Falling Star, 7. Prescription: Murder, 8. Murder by the Book/Ransom for a Dead Man (tie), 9. Lady in Waiting, 10. Etude in Black, 11. The Most Crucial Game, 12. Blueprint for Murder, 13. Lovely But Lethal, 14. The Most Dangerous Match, 15. The Greenhouse Jungle 16. Dead Weight, 17. Short Fuse

Finally, let’s look at the evidence and decide whether Columbo secures a GUILTY verdict, or is Viveca Scott looking at at ACQUITTAL? Again, circumstantial evidence abounds but it would seem the entire case hinges on the poison ivy connection. In which case, it comes down to reasonable doubt. Viveca’s lawyer can claim she contracted the rash from Columbo given his gloveless propensity for handling things, so I’d going with ACQUITTAL.

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