The Decay of the Empire will return after These Brief Messages
And coming up next, an exclusive interview with Dr. Jones, PhD and his epic fall from grace. But first, a brief message from our spons—
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—come back. Sources say the assailants entered the school and began shooting indiscriminately. Although the number of victims remains unknown, at least fifty-children were in the room when the gunmen started firing. Initial reports from the scene suggest that the death toll will only—
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—“is fundamentally illogical. I mean Ms. Danza is correct in that parts of the system are inherently flawed, but she keeps vamping on these arguments that have no relation to the present circumstances.”
“Elena, would you like to respond?”
“Thank you Bill. Yes, I would. Mr. Critchley, do you have children?”
“I don’t see how that has anything to do with it.”
“Well it was a rhetorical question, I know you don’t. Just imagine if your child had been there, at Four Fields Elementary. Don’t you think your opinion might be different if your child were dead because of an AR-15?”
“There you go again Ms. Danza. You keep equating dead children with gun control as if one had to do with the—no, just one second! Now I—you have to realize that—
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—nature. It is peculiar of humans that we mistake happiness for meaning, says Dr. Patet. According to a recent study at Duke University, 6 out of 10 Americans say they have the means to survive but no meaning. Anti-depressant medication has gone up ten-fold in the last decade. “Sooner or later it will have to stop,” Dr. Patet laments. “This reckless pursuit of creature comforts and anhedonic hedonism. It simply unsustainable—and not from a mental health point of view. The average American now spends eight hours a day staring at a screen. Just like all of your viewers are doing right now. Get off the screen. Stop watching me. I beg of you. Back in my day, we used to call it channel surfing, but we are no longer in control. These days the entertainment chooses you. The solution, of course, is quite simple. If only we could stop being so—
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—not Atheists anymore. They worship The Cloud. The average visitor asks for the WiFi code before asking where they are. This is why we did it. This is why we are running on a campaign of mandated Airplane Mode. How many people do you think are currently sitting on—
—the bench with five fouls. And you know, Stevenson was playing at an all-star level until the October Attacks. As you know, may he rest in peace, his brother was killed in the second strike, and Chuck, well, ever since then, Number Forty-Five just really hasn’t been himself.”
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“That’s exactly right, Tim, a silver lining. There’s no place for fear in the fourth quarter. Now look right here at how Stevenson positions himself. Twelve seconds to go on the shot clock and what do you think they’re gonna do, Mike? You see the high screen and roll coming off of the—
—only streaming service that puts the view back in viewer. Welcome back to Decay of the Empire with Hal Clemens. Our guest tonight, Dr. Jones, PhD, is an expert in crisis management. You look well, doctor—calm even. Welcome to the show. But first I have to ask: how did you manage to tune out all the noise?
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Tomorrow, Thursday April 17, at 6pm Paris time (12 PM EST / 9 AM PST) via Substack Live, and I will be tuning out The Wicked Circus in favor of another rendition of The Paris Writers’ Salon. There won’t be any commercials or sponsors. Just a chat about life in Paris.


