Hard Places in Adoption and How Prayer Changes Things

Hard Places in Adoption and How Prayer Changes Things Tricia Goyer

Are you facing hard places in adoption and wondering if prayer really changes things? Friend, you are not alone. I hope these words offer a lifeline when you feel like you’re drifting into doubt.

As a homeschool mom and adoptive parent, I’ve had seasons when the days felt impossibly long and the heartache ran deep. Years ago, my husband John reminded me, “This won’t be easy.” And he was right. Loving children from hard places takes more than good intentions and structured lesson plans—it takes prayer, patience, and persistent grace.

When Healing After Adoption Takes Longer Than We Hoped

No matter how idealistic I was, I didn’t realize that the right therapy, love, and environment wouldn’t magically undo the pain my kids carried. Trauma leaves marks—some invisible, some obvious—and the healing journey is long. Often, longer than we anticipate.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3When Triggers Cause Regression

We’ve learned that some reactions are not defiance—they’re protection mechanisms. Kids from trauma backgrounds often fight, flee, or freeze in response to perceived threats. These responses are not always logical, but they’re real and rooted in deep wounds.

We don’t need to fix our children; we need to be safe places where they are free to feel—and heal.

When Choices Aren’t Ours to Control

Even when we pour out love, structure, and support, our children—like all children—must make their own choices. Sometimes those choices break our hearts. But even when our kids pull away, God remains close.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6How Prayer Changes Things in Adoption

Through all the challenges, I’ve discovered the steady anchor of prayer. Not because it “fixes” my kids—but because it transforms my heart. Prayer gives me strength when I want to give up, wisdom when I feel lost, and peace when everything feels out of control.

A Truth to Hold Onto

“Even if they turn eighteen and walk away from us, they’ll always know our love and hopefully God’s love.”

– My husband, John

I had to let go of the expectation that my actions would guarantee outcomes. Prayer taught me to surrender what I couldn’t control and trust the One who could redeem it all.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6Encouragement for Adoptive and Homeschooling Parents

As homeschool parents, we face unique pressures—educating, discipling, and parenting all under one roof. And when you add adoption or trauma-related behaviors into the mix, the days can feel overwhelming. But God is present in your homeschool. He sees you, and He is working through your faithfulness.

16 Short, Repeatable Prayers for Adoptive Parents and Homeschool ParentsLord, give me grace for today.Help me see my child through Your eyes.Calm my heart when the day feels hard.Give me wisdom beyond my own understanding.Help me reflect Your love in my words.Let peace reign in our home.Thank You for the gift of this child.Give me strength to keep showing up.Let joy fill our learning today.Remind me that progress is still progress.Calm my child’s heart and mine too.Lord, I trust You with this journey.Teach me how to love like You do.Help me respond with patience, not frustration.Let our home reflect Your grace.Give me faith when I feel like giving up.

Here’s a printable version!

Bonus Scriptures for Adoptive and Homeschool Moms:

“Let us not grow weary in doing good…” – Galatians 6:9

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

“He gently leads those that have young.” – Isaiah 40:11

“My grace is sufficient for you…” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13

Here’s a printable version!

There Is Hope in the Hard Places

If you’re navigating adoption, trauma, or just the everyday challenges of homeschooling, I want to encourage you: you don’t have to do it alone.

Prayer is not a last resort—it’s the lifeline that will carry you through.

Let God meet you in the mess, the struggle, and the hard places. And believe this truth: God is not finished writing your child’s story—or yours.

Additional Resources Calming Angry Kids

A heartfelt, practical guide for dealing with anger and parenting kids from hard places. Slammed doors. Hurting hearts. Tricia Goyer knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. In Calming Angry Kids, Goyer draws on her own experience to help readers

understand what’s going on in a child’s brainfocus on relationship over rulesteach a child how to handle frustrations without outburstscontrol how they express their own angerestablish a standard of respect in the home

 Including reflection questions and action steps at the end of each chapter, Calming Angry Kids shows weary parents that peace in their home is within reach.

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