What If I’m Wrong? How Can A Daughter Work through Her Father’s Legacy?

Heather Thompson Day, a heartfelt storyteller and bestselling author, has dedicated 13 years as a college professor to teaching the art of Christ-centered communication. Her profound insights have been spotlighted on reputable platforms like the Today Show, Christianity Today, and Newsweek. In her latest book, “What If I’m Wrong?: Navigating the Waves of Fear and Failure,” Heather invites us to reexamine our perceptions of struggle. Are we truly drowning in our challenges, or are they pivotal moments steering us towards a deeper connection with God? This excerpt delves into the notion that these struggles may be guiding us to uncharted, divine intimacy. It’s a joy to welcome Heather to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Heather Thompson Day

I’M DROWNING. 

I wrote these words in my prayer journal.

No context.

No amen.

Not so much a prayer as a cry for help.

Two words that felt like a metaphor for the chaos that was devouring my hopes, dreams, and vision for my future. Passion should come with caution signals. It’s a strong wave over all who dare to greet it. 

I learned about passion from my father. His lessons have haunted me my entire life. There is a fine line between faith and delusion. I can’t always tell which side of it my dad was on. I’ve never known anyone who trusted God more fully. Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when I was twenty-five. He never once complained. But I’ve done enough complaining for both of us. 

When Dad was seventeen, he went into show business. He’d play his guitar outside the office of whatever record label executive he hoped would sign him. Sometimes he was kicked out, other times he was welcomed. He got a part in his first Broadway show by memorizing the dance routine in one of the numbers, then running onto the stage from the audience and performing it beside the cast. The bouncer kicked him out, but not before a producer gave him his card. My dad believed that risk was a small price to pay for reward. He also believed that God placed gifts within humanity and that using them honored God. 

I know what it feels like to have your dreams bury you beneath them. That’s why I was drowning. I jumped headfirst into the waves of passion, thinking it would bring me safely to my purpose. But passion does nothing safely. It’s a harrowing front stroke into deep water with a strong current. It offers only risk, pain, and reward. Stay on the shore if you want safety. 

Biblically speaking, the word passion literally means “to suffer.” It is about doing what we feel called to do, even though it brings us great suffering. The word finds its root in the Latin word passiō and the Greek word pathos. Both communicate suffering. That is why they called it “the passion of Christ.” I don’t know if it is even considered passion until the suffering starts. 

“Watching the person you love slowly forget everything they always knew changes what you remember.”

For Dad, his dream was to be an actor on Broadway. He starred in shows like Jesus Christ Superstar and Hair. One day, however, he felt a deeply supernatural call to leave New York City and pursue ministry. He packed everything up, including my mom and my sister (this was before I was born) and moved to a small Midwestern town near Lake Michigan, where he would spend the rest of his life devoted to that call. One day he was on the late show with Johnny Carson, and the next day he became the man I saw tiptoeing down into the basement to groan before the Lord. 

Who knows what could have happened for him career wise had he stayed in New York? He traded Broadway stages and lights for an old blue van we all piled in. He only made enough money to fend off the bank, but dad felt rich in purpose.

I don’t think my mom ever doubted my dad’s choice to give everything to his passion. At least not until the Alzheimer’s.

Watching the person you love slowly forget everything they always knew changes what you remember. All our happy memories have a twinge of sadness now. When I think about who my dad was to us, I have a parallel image in my mind of who the disease has made him become, and it sets fire to the background of a lot of my memories.

Dad didn’t know when he taught me to pray how those prayers would one day consume me. That I would pace my block for weeks and years begging God to reveal his goodness toward my family in some way that made my dad’s Alzheimer’s feel justified. Like God had made an even trade. I needed redemption for the broken pieces. 

“I think that while I was praying for stability, my dad was praying to serve humbly and with integrity. God honored those prayers. And God will honor yours.“

I texted my mom one day. I needed to share my feelings with someone who shared the experience. “I watched Dad devote his entire life to ministry, and a pain point for me is knowing he has nothing to show for it,” I wrote. “You say Dad has nothing to show for it?” she said.

“He has you to show for it. If you are continuing his passion, then it doesn’t really end with him, does it? It just keeps going, from generation to generation. Heather, what if you’re wrong?”

It’s a question I haven’t stopped asking myself since my mother sent that text message. It’s easy for me, on a bad day, to look at my life and wonder if I’ll ever have anything to show for it. I often worry that all of this passion will eventually drown me. But what if I’m wrong?

I’d be willing to bet that there is fruit on the branches of your life. Maybe it isn’t money or power. Maybe you don’t feel important. But what if those types of fruit aren’t the fruit of heaven anyway?

I think that while I was praying for stability, my dad was praying to serve humbly and with integrity. God honored those prayers. And God will honor yours.

QUESTION TO CONSIDER:

What was your parents’ faith like?Where do you find your stability?What are you passionate about?

Have you ever considered that the hardest things in life might be our greatest areas of passion, through which we find fulfillment in everything we do? In What If I’m Wrong?, from bestselling author and speaker Heather Thompson Day, you’ll discover that we might just be wrong about our biggest fears and failures. They aren’t drowning us; they are part of God’s plan to make us stronger.

Heather Thompson Day is a gifted communicator, a bestselling author, and, as a 13-year college professor, she is passionate about teaching people the art of Christ-centered communications. Her latest book, What If I’m Wrong?: Navigating the Waves of Fear and Failure, is now available everywhere books are sold. Heather has been featured in media such as the Today Show, Christianity Today, and Newsweek, and she has earned accolades as a contributor to the Barna Group and Religion News Service. 

{Our humble thanks to Thomas Nelson for their partnership in today’s devotional.}