Conquering Nerves and Unlocking Your Potential

 

Last month I went to The Players Championship, the fifth biggest golf tournament in the world behind the four majors, to work with a client playing in the event. As I walked the grounds of the TPC Sawgrass, the demanding course hosting the event, I was reminded of my own struggles handling the pressure of big golf tournaments. 

One of the primary reasons I struggled under pressure was that I didn’t know the nerves I felt were a normal part of high level competition. Growing up I assumed the steely eyed calm of the golfers I watched on TV reflected their internal experience. Quite the opposite. 

When you are competing in a meaningful tournament or endeavor, where your dreams and ambitions are on the line, that should absolutely generate some nerves, anxiety, or adrenaline. These are high stakes moments that you’ve earned. Tennis great Billy Jean King describes it with a powerfully simple message: “Pressure is a privilege,”

For some, the absence of feeling nerves is actually a bigger problem – it’s a sign that you might not care as much as you think, that you’re not as motivated as you believed yourself to be, or that you’re pretending not to care to manage an issue like tilt or fear.

Not to mention, the amping up of your nerves is a major source of fuel to help you be at your best. Adrenaline primes your senses and helps you pick up on details you normally can’t see, helping you to access higher level intuition. You have a better chance of reaching the zone due to the extra intensity as long as you can keep it from overwhelming you. 

The 17th hole at the TPC Sawgrass is perhaps the most famous hole in golf for producing the kind of performance anxiety I’m describing. The famed island green, pictured below) is an imposing target when trying to win a golf tournament. The wind is difficult to judge, and even though players have just a wedge in hand (for the non-golfers that means it’s a short shot), there’s little room for error. This hole has derailed many past competitor’s chances of winning. And this year was no different as JJ Spaun’s tee shot flew the green in the playoff, giving Rory Mcllroy an easy path to victory.

To thrive on a stage like this, or in moments that parallel it in your own life, requires a few things beyond accepting that nerves are part of the game.

 

Finding Real Certainty

Anxiety preys on uncertainty. Thinking about it, if you knew what was going to happen, some of your nerves would disappear. The unknown can be imposing and make you feel a sort of desperate need for certainty. You want to know how much the wind is going to affect your tee shot over the water, whether price will continue going up in the trade that you want to close, or if your bluff on the river will get your opponent to fold. 

Simply wanting to know these uncertainties can turn nervous tension into problematic anxiety or fear. 

Your mind’s desire for certainty isn’t wrong, it’s just misguided. While you can’t know what’s actually going to happen, you can be certain in your strategy, track record, mental resilience, experience and skill. Real certainty in an uncertain moment comes from the experience you bring to that moment. 

Sometimes you can get so myopic about this one particular shot, trade, tournament, or moment in your career that you lose sight of your bedrock of knowledge, skills, and experience. That foundation doesn’t guarantee positive results, but it does make it more likely. Reminding yourself of that fact when the anxiety hits can help you focus and rise to meet the moment.

 

How You Breathe Matters

The way you breathe has a direct impact on your ability to perform. That statement often surprises people, but research has shown there are effective and ineffective ways to breathe under pressure. 

When under pressure people often breathe mainly in their chest, known as shallow breathing, which takes in less oxygen. In a stressful situation, when less oxygen is absorbed the brain automatically reacts by diverting mental energy from the advanced functions needed for golf, poker or trading, to areas vital for survival; commonly known as the “fight or flight” response. This process is literally millions of years old and, once triggered, continuing to shallow breathe actually fuels it.

Breathing diaphragmatically, or into the lower chambers of the lungs, both reverses the process and helps to prevent it. Diaphragmatic Breathing absorbs more oxygen and triggers the brain to relax so it can resume normal function. The “sigh” you take after a stressful situation is a perfect example of your brain trying to go back to normal.

Diaphragmatic breathing is natural breathing. Just watch an infant breath; it’s the only way they know how. Adult breathing patterns frequently change over time from stress, and following the instructions in this video are a way of getting back to that natural state. This takes practice like anything else. If you want to rapidly change your breathing under stress you need to train. 

Slowing yourself down in this way can also help with the overthinking that tends to happen in those intense moments. Focused breathing disrupts the tension and gets you purposeful about what the moment requires of you.

 

Calculated Risk

Risk aversion is linked to second guessing and not trusting your gut – examples of ways you protect yourself from failing or being wrong. There’s a lot on the line and you want to hit the right shot, or make the correct choice. At times your mind tries to escape the discomfort of being wrong or failing by avoiding the risk altogether. 

By not trying, or holding something back, you aren’t truly giving it your all and that feels less risky. While you protect yourself from risk you also protect yourself from success.

The less risky option is to put your best foot forward, whatever that means for you. Rare is the person or player who fell short and sleeps well knowing they didn’t give it everything they had. The emotional risk of that option is actually higher because the regret looms large.

To do your best and fail is painful and hard, but an easier pill to swallow. You can rest on the fact that you trusted yourself, gave your best and it just wasn’t enough. You can learn from the experience and have more opportunities in the future. And, even if you don’t, there is some peace that comes with the certainty that you did all you could.

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