Transparallel Euro 2012 (Day Two)

Deutchekrater 1 - Porto Umayyad 0

A bad-tempered atmosphere hung over this match, largely due to the 3,104,688-strong German crowd - a record for this tournament - who drifted into Eastern Europe earlier this week as a cloud of seething protean death. Deutchekrater's supporters are famously the most loyal in Europe, having followed their home side ever since the Berlin A-bomb of 1945, and being doomed to do so forevermore. On the pitch, the team was surprisingly lively given the rot of recent years, their opponents failing to meet the challenge despite the presence of legendary Portuguese striker Mohammed Ronaldo. Even so, a 1-0 scoreline is unlikely to exorcise the storm of undying hatred on the terraces: manager Joachim Kriegslieter has already vowed to make changes to the team, including a tighter defensive line made from parts of tighter defenders.

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