No more ring

My wife called me at work to tell me that the phone service in our home was out.

"The Internet and cable?" I asked, panicking inside. A Friday night at home without the Internet? What would we do?

"No. Just the phone line," she assured me.

"Oh, that's good," I said and meant it. In fact, I was secretly hoping that she couldn't get it working for at least a month. I hate the house phone. Actually, I hate all telephones, but at least I can ignore my own cell phone. When the house phone...