Things We Say

 

“You’renot going to like this,” Hubby announced once again as a preface to an idea hehad. I don’t remember which idea it was the last time, but his brilliant planscan range from both of us taking the car in for an oil change on our way outfor a fish fry to stocking up on flashlights on sale at Harbor Freight.

Okay,I don’t think he ever proposed either of those scenarios, and usually, what hecomes up with are things I’m agreeable to, so I don’t know why he always usesthat opening line.

Buthere’s the thing – that could be the name of a TV show. What do you think?“You’re not going to like this” – a comedy about a somewhat demented father whohas to move in with his middle-aged daughter and son-in-law. It’s been donealready, hasn’t it?  

Speakingof somewhat demented, when my brother calls once a week to check in, hisopening line is usually, “I have a big problem” followed by “It’s so cold out,” “My TVisn’t working,” or something else that is earth-shattering. In his world, butnot mine.

Ashow titled “I Have a Big Problemt” could be a reality show about a group of teen-age girls, because when do they not have a big problem? Or it could be a crime drama where after someone commits a crime, they contact this special agency to provide a cover-up.    

Thatreminds me of another one of Hubby’s and my favorite lines. “Did you hear whodied?” is a line we probably use an equal number of times. Like just this week.He shouted from the living room on the far west end of the house to me in myoffice on the far east end the name of someone who had died. It wasn’t until hegot home from work three hours later that I was about to ask, “Did you hear ValKilmer died?” when I realized that was who he was talking about.

Ofcourse, the title “Did you hear who died?” sounds like a show where JessicaFletcher is solving crimes in Cabot Cove. But how about instead, it’s about asmall-town radio station where there is no crime, just a long list of morningobituaries?

Allright, so now it’s your turn. What phrases do you and your loved onesfrequently use on each other, and what TV program could be titled that?