#Extract – Toby (What Makes Me)
Exclusive extract from Toby, the first book in the What Makes Me series. All books in the What Makes Me series explore themes around identity, found family and friendship.
‘Hi Neil, I’m Rowan,’ Rowan’s face was alive with this grin which made his whole face sparkle, as he greeted my best mate. ‘You know the person Toby must have been raving about when he called you yesterday, because I’m all kinds of awesome, and totally gunning for your spot as his best friend.’
Neil’s response was this kind of speechless noise, as his chestnut brown eyes just stared at Rowan in this dumbfounded kind of way.
‘Don’t worry, I’m teasing,’ Rowan pulled himself far enough out of the window to be as close to Neil as possible, ‘I know better than to come between the sacred bond of best friends. Trust me, not even death can come between that.’
‘Uh…’ Neil continued to blink dumbly at him.
‘Is that my stuff?’ I jumped in to save him.
‘Um… yeah,’ he shifted his attention towards me. ‘It’s… um… your schoolbooks, and a few other bits I knew you seriously couldn’t live without. But your mum was watching me like a hawk the whole time, as if she seriously thought I’d steal all the china the second her back was turned or something. And… um… this is like seriously heavy, so…’
‘Right,’ Rowan had his door open, and was out of it and next to Neil within seconds. ‘You should sort through it and grab what you need for the day, then dad’ll drop the rest of it back to ours, right?’ He leant back into the car, first looking at me, then glancing towards his dad.
‘Actually I probably have time to drop it to your brother’s,’ Rowan’s dad checked his watch. ‘My first student’s not till ten.’
‘Cool,’ Rowan grinned as he took the binbag out of Neil’s arms and dumped it onto the seat he’d previously been using.
As quickly as I could, I began sorting through the items in the binbag, specifically looking for the books and stuff I needed for the day. I couldn’t help but spot the items Neil had deemed important to me as I did though. It made my insides swell with more than a little bit of genuine happiness that my best friend knew me this well. Once I was done, I thanked Rowan’s dad, half cursing myself for not being able to remember what his name was, and joined my friends on the pavement outside of the school grounds.
‘See you tonight dad, make sure no one crashes,’ Rowan waved like some hyperactive kid, as we watched the car pull away. ‘Okay, so I’m going to have to go and pretend I’m not the coolest person in the world now,’ he indicated towards the school entrance, as he turned his attention back towards the two of us. ‘But remember, my form room is the one closest to the library if you need me for anything. And that goes for both of you,’ his gaze lingered on Neil for a moment. ‘But, you know, if everything is cool, then I’ll see you at the end of the day. We’ll meet right here,’ he pointed to the spot he was standing.
‘Okay, cool, see you Rowan.’
‘Later Toby, Neil,’ he did a kind of awkward wave, walking away thing, before disappearing through the gates.
‘Sorry,’ I shot Neil an apologetic look once it was just the two of us, ‘I know Rowan’s a little much. I mean, I’m still trying to get used to him, but he’s genuinely cool, so…’
‘I think I’m in love,’ Neil surprised me, by putting his hands over his heart, and half collapsing back into the school wall. ‘I mean, seriously T, and you’re wearing his clothes right now?’
‘Um…’
‘God I seriously don’t think I’ve been more jealous of you,’ his head hit back against the wall, as he made this overly dramatic sigh, before rubbing his face and composing himself. ‘Sorry, I know, the last thing you need right now is me crushing on another no chance. Curse whatever god decided to make blond hair and blue eyes my one true weakness. Seriously.’
‘Pretty sure you say that about everything,’ I rolled my eyes, debating whether or not I should tell him Rowan might actually be a chance. ‘So… um… how… how were my parents when you saw them yesterday?’
‘I’m glad my mum was there,’ his voice tensed with the serious weight of his words. ‘They pretty much just laughed when we said we were there for your things. Then they seriously shoved an envelope with your other name on it into mum’s hand and said that should be everything we needed for your funeral. They didn’t even ask if you were staying with us, I guess they must have assumed, but… Seriously, what the fuck’s wrong with your parents? If I’d known… T, I… I’m sorry.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ I indicated we should start walking.
‘So mum thinks she might have heard of the people you’re staying with,’ he fell into step beside me. ‘You know that Louie mum goes to for advice about us, and ends up with mostly advice about me, because… you know.’
‘Um… yeah,’ I nodded.
‘Well she thinks the people you’re staying with might be the same ones who helped him out when he left home,’ Neil grinned. ‘Isn’t that seriously cool?’
‘Um… yeah, I guess, but isn’t she worried about me living with strangers and stuff.’
‘Oh absolutely,’ he laughed. ‘I mean, she’s seriously freaking out a lot less now than she was when I told her Saturday evening, but she still wants to meet these guys to make sure they’re really okay. Although I think some of that is her blaming herself for what happened on Friday. I mean, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with your parents?’
‘I know,’ I winced at my own last memory of them, ‘but can we not talk about it, please, thinking about its making my arm hurt more than it already is.’
‘Right, sorry,’ he shot me an apologetic look as we neared our form room.
I took a breath in as I entered, not really sure what to expect from the others, and finding myself half surprised when there wasn’t any instant meowing at my entrance. Then…
‘Hey looks like Tabby’s a short-haired now,’ Josh, first in as always.
That instantly launched half the class into a torrent of meowing, and jokes about not getting my hair in my saucer of milk anymore. When I didn’t react, because I never reacted, they settled down. And the rest of the class, the ones who didn’t still act like we’d never left juniors, asked me about my arm, and whether or not they could sign my cast. No one commented on the trousers though, because, Rowan was right, in our class especially no one was going to bat an eyelid. So I smiled at the ones who were asking about my cast and told them they could draw pictures on it instead. Because I could put up with looking at flowers, and cats, and bunny rabbits, because pictures didn’t contain names, or pronouns. And if those things weren’t on my cast then they could be left behind at school at the end of each day, and I would be free to be Toby again.
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